Church Prayers Answered As Bucks Fail To Fizz

So to the second weekend in August and the ‘magic’ of the FA Cup, with today’s chosen Extra Preliminary Round tie seeing a trip over the tops to The DSM Memorial Ground as Penistone Church FC play Bootle FC with Northern Counties East meeting North West Counties.

Penistone Church FC was formed in 1906 from the merger of Penistone Choirboys and Penistone Juniors, and competed initially in the Sheffield Amateur League. In 1909 Church were the first winners of the Sheffield Junior Cup, which they won again in 1937.

The club became a founder member of the Sheffield & Hallamshire County Senior League in 1983 after the merger of local leagues. Church reached the Premier League in 1995 but were something of a yo-yo club in the 1990s.

The club was promoted to the Northern Counties East League Division 1 in 2014 and qualified for the inaugural Division One play offs in 2016, losing out to AFC Emley. A year later Church beat Grimsby Borough in the play off final to win promotion to the Premier League, and also won the Northern Counties East Football League Cup. Last season saw a creditable 7^th position in the top tier.

The original Bootle FC was formed in 1879 and played its first fixture in 1880. The club were Everton FC's main rivals and competed with them for a prestigious place in the newly formed Football League. The Bucks narrowly lost out as only one club per area was permitted to join.

In 1889 the club became founder members of the Football Alliance, finishing runners up and FA Cup quarter finalists. The Football Alliance then became the Football League Second Division with Bootle finishing a respectable 8th but then resigning due to ongoing financial problems - ironically being replaced by Liverpool FC - and then folding.

The club was resurrected after World War II and joined the Lancashire Combination in 1948. The Bucks decided not to sign Bert Trautmann, apparently not wanting to cause upset because of local war feelings, and he joined St Helens and moved on to bigger and better things. The club won the league at the first attempt but struggled in the top flight, before resigning and folding again during the 1953/54 campaign.

In 1953 the current club was formed as Langton FC, playing in local Bootle leagues then the Liverpool County Combination. Twenty years on there was a successful request to change name to the latest incarnation of Bootle FC.

A year later the Bucks joined the Lancashire Combination and after two championship successes left to enter the Cheshire County League. In 1982 the Cheshire County League was one of the leagues merged to form the North West Counties Football League with Bootle FC a founder member.

After relegation to the Second Division, in 2002 the club dropped back into the Liverpool County Combination as Bucks Park on Copy Lane closed its doors for the last time. Four years later with a new ground, New Bucks Park at Vesty Road (now sponsored by TDP Solicitors), the Bucks were re-elected to the NWCFL and promoted as champions to the top division in 2009 – runners up in 2017 their best finish.

It's another sunkissed afternoon as, appropriately, I pass Cool Tan, Sunsation and Tan 'n' Tonic, before reaching the execrable ELCTRICAL TOILETORIES T & T Pound Plus - open 7 days a week (make that none !!)

Onto the M60, past the Co-op pyramid and its crystal Methodist, then The Light sociable cinema (whatever that means ?) at Stockport's Red Rock leisure development. Off at Denton Rock to the M67 at the end of which is a Big Baps butty van.

Through Hollingworth, to the pretty village of Tintwistle, Arnfield Fly Fishery and then Crowden where the scale of depletion in reservoir levels is striking. It's a glorious day for driving the Woodhead Pass and into the Peak District National Park, marred only by the brown and scorched countryside. Then into Barnsley Metropolitan District Council territory - twinned with Gorlovka and Schwabisch Gmund !!

I turn off at The White Heart into Penistone, along a tidy High Street, then down Victoria Street to the DSM Memorial Ground on Church View Road. Plenty of parking next to the stadium this week, a colourful flower bed outside the turnstile, and a fiver in.

Inside there is a busy clubhouse at the near end with the changing rooms adjoining. To my left is the covered stand, terracing giving way to black and white seats up to the half way line – and the ubiquitous Totty Signs advertising hoarding in these parts !! The rest of the ground is open with just a walkway on the opposite touch line and a mini pitch behind the goal at the top end. Naturally (the clue is in the football club name and address) there is a church in sight, standing imperiously above the houses, bells pealing away. Another deckchair in evidence – and some shooting sticks too !!

There is housing behind the main stand but beyond that are fabulous views of the Yorkshire countryside, topped by an even prettier landscape opposite.

Church are aiming to replicate their FA Cup run from last season, winning three rounds before losing to Harrogate Town in the Second Qualifying Round. They are in black and white stripes, the Bucks in all blue with yellow trim. Referee and one linesman are in regulation all black, but the paunchy assistant next to me has white flashes on his kit.......strange.

The Bucks have brought decent and raucous support, swelling the crowd to 165. Notwithstanding a bone dry pitch, burnt in places, Church begin dreadfully and Bootle should really take advantage. Andrew Gillespie ghosts in unchallenged and then swipes the ball well wide. Church's keeper, Chris Snaith, makes two excellent stops to deny Mike Ordish and Carl Peers, but surely it's just a question of time.....

Then on 25 minutes the Bucks' defence switches off and Church's Kieran Ryan pinches the ball, twists and turns before shooting low into the corner past a wrong footed Ryan Jones. It is Penistone's only chance in the first period.

There is no change in Bootle's style of play and they continue to dominate, hitting the woodwork before finally three minutes from half time Peers is played in, Snaith hesitates and the attacker rolls the ball home to restore parity.

The second half sees a rather better home performance, particularly at the back with the defence well organised by veteran Brett Lovell. Nonetheless the Bucks do create chances. Ben Jago forces a fine diving save from Snaith, and the custodian blocks Elliott Nevitt's effort with his legs.

Church have come more into the game without really threatening until a quarter of an hour to go. Ryan is given too much time and space in the corner, before crossing to the back post where Nathan Keightley heads the ball back across Jones - the ball seemingly crossing the line in slow motion.

Bootle throw men forward, creating pressure but no meaningful chances as the Bucks fizzle out (sorry !!). Indeed Church come the closer to scoring - Bootle's Lee McConchie mistimes his header, it catches in the swirling wind, and from fully 25 yards out loops over Jones and hits the frame of his own goal. 2-1 to Church at the finish and high hopes of another lucrative FA Cup run remain.

Breck Ready For Battle As Nelson Meet Their Trafalgar

And so to Anfield, no not that Anfield, but Anfield Sports & Community Centre and another new club to the North West Counties this season, Lower Breck FC. The visitors this Bank Holiday Monday afternoon are Nelson FC.

Lower Breck Boys FC was founded in summer 2010 by the Moore family based in the Tuebrook area of Liverpool as a youth team. For the 2012/13 season ‘The Breck’ joined forces with the respected Famous Grapes FC, becoming an open age team and member of the Liverpool County Premier League Second Division. The side won the 2^nd Division title in its first season and then changed name to Lower Breck FC. Promotion to the Premier Division was achieved the following season.

After a cup double in 2016/17, last term saw Breck achieve the quadruple – winning the Liverpool County Premier League, LCFA Challenge Cup, George Mahon Cup and I-Zingari Cup. The side was unbeaten throughout the entire campaign with a run stretching back to October 2016, and their application to join the North West Counties Football League Division One North was successful.

Nelson FC was founded in 1881, joining the Lancashire League in 1889 and becoming champions in 1896. The club folded during the 1898/99 season and was expelled by the Lancashire FA. Having rejoined the League in 1900, the club again closed down in 1916 with bailiffs called in.

Having reformed in 1918 and entered the Central League, the Admirals became founder members of the Football League Division 3 North in 1921. Promotion to Division 2 followed in 1923, and the side embarked on a Spanish preseason tour which saw them beat Real Madrid 4-2 !

Sadly the club was relegated after only one season, and against a backdrop of struggling form, falling attendances and growing debt (even a fund raising carnival lost £20 !) the team finished bottom of the League in 1931. They failed to win re-election and were replaced by Chester City. Having dropped into the Lancashire Combination the Admirals folded once more in August 1936 due to crippling debts.

Hastily reformed as Nelson Town the new club entered the local Nelson & Colne League in which they played up to the start of World War II. After a further reformation in 1946 and rejoining the Lancashire Combination, the Admirals were crowned champions in 1950 and again in 1952, the latter under the stewardship of Joe Fagan, who went on to manage Liverpool.

In 1971 the football club moved from its Seedhill base, home since 1905 and which also hosted the Nelson Admirals speedway team, to Victoria Park. Seedhill became a stock car racing venue, but was all but demolished when the M65 was built.

Nelson FC became a founder member of the North West Counties Football League in 1982 but was evicted in 1988 due to ground grading requirement failures. A four year sojourn in the West Lancashire League ended with readmittance to the NWCFL as Victoria Park, or Little Wembley as the locals christened it, was upgraded.

The Admirals resigned from the league in 2010 but after a 12 month 'sabbatical' returned and were promoted to the Premier Division in 2014. Only Cammell Laird finished below Nelson in 2017, prompting a return to Division One. Last season the Admirals fared even worse only avoiding rock bottom on goal difference, and not being relegated due to the restructure of the non league game in the summer.

So under a brooding sky and a murmuration of starlings over the retail park, it's past the old stocks outside the Orange Tree and the colourful Denzell Gardens to the M56. Then the M6 over Thelwall, standing traffic on the opposite carriageway including a Moscow State Circus lorry.

On to the M62, monster warehouses and a single wind turbine spinning furiously away, Griffin Wood and The Dream sculpture. Off at The Rocket with the motorway ending at Junction 4 - strangely not at Junction 1 as you would expect…..

Into Old Swan, with Cask Liverpool Micropub and then Tuebrook with outlets including Mei Mei Fish & Chips, Beauty Box Aesthetics and Udderley Delicious. I'm on Rocky Lane by now, a pitted and potholed road that lives down to its name.

Right on to Lower Breck Road and the Anfield Sports & Community Centre set in the middle of Edinburgh Park, barely a mile from Anfield and Goodison Park. Plenty of parking and plenty of fields too with dog walkers wearing gloves and winter coats......

Outside is the Cruyff Court, a mini AstroTurf pitch, and a sign bearing 'The 14 Rules of Johan Cruyff'. Inside is a reception desk where I pay my £3, wander through the cafe and into the ground. Only two sides are open, the popular side with hard standing and a small covered all seater stand set back in the corner, oddly stretching from the goal line to the penalty area - and clearly not the best viewing point !!

There is also a limited standing area behind the goal where right at its extremity you can make out Anfield, towering above the houses in this residential area. On the far side the two dugouts are 60 metres apart, which at least prevents handbags between the two sets of coaching staff. Beyond that fields, a dog walker staying for the entire duration of the game to retrieve balls kicked out of the ground, which essentially is a caged AstroTurf pitch.

Breck, with their motto 'Nulli Secundus' (Second to None) are in red and white stripes and black shorts (think Sheffield United). The Admirals are in change green with black trim. My neighbour is wearing shorts and.....an electronic tag. Be afraid, be very afraid - I move.....as do others !!

Within 8 minutes Breck take the lead. Mick Douglas’s shot is blocked by a combination of two defenders and goalkeeper, but the ball runs loose to Peter Donnelly and he scores easily into the open goal.
Mason Nevitt has a header cleared off the line by Admirals' captain Ash Brierley but after that it's all Nelson. Sam Dickinson's volley is plucked from the air, James Wolfenden heads straight at the keeper and Martin Trickett glances wide.

Breck come into again just before the break and Nevitt wastes two glorious chances, blazing wildly over with one, the other clawed away by the visitors' stopper, Marcel Wusiewicz.

The second half is a war of attrition, the players battling each other (4 yellow cards) and the pitch. Breck create the better chances – Jamie Henders shoots narrowly wide, then forces a good save from Wusiewicz with Louis Austin firing over from the rebound. Callum Hill shaves the post with his measured effort.

Nelson have plenty of ball and pressure but their shooting is (h)armless and befitting of a man with only one eye. Their best chance falls to Wolfenden, who six yards out and facing an empty goal manages to get the ball tangled under his feet and the eventual scuffed shot is blocked.

Breck survive four minutes of added time to take the game 1-0 and continue their encouraging start to life at a higher level, with a crowd of 102 exactly matching that at Steeton on Saturday.

Black Panther's Hat Trick In Vain As Chevrons Get Rovers' Goat

And so to Cougar Park in Keighley for this afternoon’s clash between Steeton and Atherton LR in the North West Counties Division One North.

Steeton AFC was founded in 1905, although some believe it could have been in the 1890s, playing at The Oaks in the Keighley & District League – a league they won three times. After the Second World War the team moved to the Craven & District League where they were famous for their ‘Bits of Mint’ side which tasted silverware. The club also won a solitary league championship in 1960.

In 1969 the club relocated to the Doris Wells Memorial Field in Summerhill Lane following the construction of Airedale Hospital, and in 1985 entered the West Riding County Amateur League with a highest placing of runners up in the 2012/13 season.

Third last term and their application to join the North West Counties Football League proved to be successful. However the Doris Wells Memorial Field was not up to league ground grading requirements – it will still be used for reserve and youth team games – so a groundshare arrangement with Keighley Cougars RLFC was agreed. Near neighbours the Cobbydalers of Silsden AFC came to a similar arrangement when they joined the North West Counties in 2004.

Steeton AFC’s nickname is ‘The Chevrons’, from the French word for goat (chevre) and the club emblem features a goat’s head, with the nearby Goat’s Head pub claiming to be the ‘Home of Steeton AFC’.

Atherton Laburnum Rovers FC was founded in 1956 as Laburnum Rovers, an U-14s side to play in the Briarcroft Junior League. 'The Laburnums' were named after the Laburnum Playing Fields where they first played; it is not clear where their other nickname, 'The Panthers', emanates from.

The club expanded to senior level, starting in the Leigh & District League, and after moving to Hagfold Playing Fields, became members of the Bolton Combination in 1961. Ground facilities prevented promotion so a farmer's field was found at Greendale and, despite a footpath criss-crossing and duck ponds on either side, a football pitch was created. The move to the new ground occurred in June 1966, and after winning the Bolton Combination Division Two, the Laburnums were promoted and new changing rooms were erected - a major improvement on the old air raid shelters previously in use !

The Panthers joined the Cheshire County League in 1980, with the league stipulating the team changed its name to include that of the town - and Atherton Laburnum Rovers was born. The ground was renamed Crilly Park in honour of chairman Jack Crilly, who had died suddenly.

LR were also founder members of the North West Counties in 1982 and, as champions in 1993 and 1995, were promoted to the Unibond Northern Premier League, the latter a stay that lasted three seasons culminating in relegation after financial problems. Thereafter there was a flurry of managers - 6 in 2 years at one point - and the intervening years saw two relegations, one promotion and two Bolton Hospital Cup successes.

2015/16 represented the nadir for Rovers, finishing next to bottom in the lower division with only 4 wins and 18 points all season – fortunately there was no relegation. 20^th and 18^th both out of 22 in the last two campaigns shows progress has been limited…..

So after overnight rain has given way to sunshine and clouds, it's onto Manchester Road and past a van with the numberplate W4SP F - naturally owned by Paul Jones Pest Control !! But the real pest is the unannounced roadworks and lane closures at the Eastway crossroads which cause gridlock.

Beyond the ELCTRICAL TOILETORIES shuttered shop, with the malaise extending to several businesses either side, although Noisy Neighbour Soundproofing has opened across the way, to the M60. Some moronic driving and another strange numberplate - PO15ON G whatever that is supposed to signify....

And then the M66, where my earlier traffic delays make it perfect timing to see Flying Scotsman roaring over the bridge on the East Lancs Railway ! Into Hyndburn, 'Home of Accrington Pals', then onto the M65 and the signs for Shuttlewoof Hall.

The end of the motorway brings me to Vivary Way and Colne. Difficult to know what, if any, effect The Great British Rhythm & Blues Festival being held in the town has on traffic because it's always a nightmare, but today is particularly horrific.

Having finally negotiated my way through I come across Wycoller Country Park and The Atom Panopticon. Then the sprawling village of Cowling, past the football club (home to Airedale today), before arriving at the sign Glusburn & Cross Hills (coming t'other way the sign has the names reversed), home of Funky Monkey. There follows an interminable wait at Kildwick Level Crossing - the lengthy delay before the Bradford Forster Square train arrives allowing me to eat my entire lunch.....

Right at The Trawlerman onto the A629, Silsden to the left and Steeton to the right, The Doris Wells Memorial Field visible from the road. Then left into the outskirts of Keighley with Cougar Park behind the Texaco garage immediately on the left. I park next to a scrap metal merchants on a rundown, litter strewn side street.

The main entrance to Cougar Park features a fine set of wrought iron gates as I pay my fiver and early impressions are favourable. Last week's first home match for the Chevrons saw the second biggest crowd at this level - 177 - but the stadium has a 7,800 capacity. Today's attendance is 102, but this is nowhere near as ridiculous as the 72 at Widnes's 13,350 all seater earlier this year….

Not surprisingly only one stand is open - the main Danny Jones Stand named in honour of the Keighley Cougars player who died at the age of 29 from heart failure in a match against London Skolars in 2015. The covered stand comprises wooden benches rather than seats, and there's a rather quiet bar towards the end.

Two uncovered terraces are to my right and opposite, the covered terraced Terry Hollindrake Stand to the left. Once again there are some fabulous rural views with the ground seemingly nestled in the foot of the hills.

Those views are even better from the walkway behind the Danny Jones Stand which abuts Keighley Cricket Club. A match is in progress with the fielding side obviously short of players - eight in whites, two in jeans and T shirts, and a rather rotund man in shorts....

The Chevrons are in all green and obviously going up in the world, being sponsored by Acorn Stairlifts. In fact there is advertising for two stairlift companies and another for mobility aids - not sure what that says about Keighley.... Atherton are in yellow and blue and their shirt sponsor is illegible. I discern, from two away fans' hoodies, that it is myDelayedFlight.com, a compensation and claims company from Milton Keynes. Not sure what that says about Atherton....

The first fifteen minutes are instantly forgettable; a swirling wind, bumpy pitch, some awful control and passing and a flat ball that everyone in the crowd can see but apparently no one on the pitch. Then a cross from the left finds debutant Liam Blades in acres of space, his touch is dreadful and the chance is blocked but when the ball drops Ben Clarkson nods it through a defender's legs to put Steeton ahead.

The Laburnums have been marginally the better side up to this point and they are soon on level terms. Alistair Morgan's woeful back pass lets in the lanky Henoc Mukendi and the black Panther pounces to equalise. Two minutes later he is left unmarked to head home a cross and Rovers lead. Five minutes before the break a lovely through ball plays in Aaron Hollindrake and he thumps the chance home to restore parity for the Chevrons.

On half time Clarkson chases down a ball and Atherton's goalkeeper Louis Murray handles outside the box. A red card, realisation that the Laburnums don't have a substitute keeper, and his shirt is passed to a team mate revealing a ‘panoply’ of multicoloured tattoos - not a pleasant sight !!

Half time brings something I have never seen before – the steward unlocks the back gate to allow two fans to nip over the road to McDonalds and bring their meals back into the ground. This becomes a recurrent theme during the second period……

Surprisingly the Panthers look the brighter team at the start of the second half despite being down to 10 men, but all they can produce are long range efforts, as the Chevrons struggle to create chances. On 58 minutes a long ball reaches Blades who gets a lucky ricochet then exquisitely lobs the ball into the net to put Steeton ahead.

Five minutes afterward his game is over. A second yellow card, this time for smashing the ball thirty yards away in a fit of pique over an offside call - utterly stupid and completely unnecessary. Nonetheless the Laburnums wilt as Steeton score twice more. Clarkson gets his second, thrashing home from close range after the replacement keeper tips shot onto the post, and then Andy Briggs strokes the ball into the corner for 5-2.

Mukendi then completes his perfect hat trick (one left foot, one right foot and a header) for the Panthers in the closing moments after captain Martyn Parkinson's header is spilled.

So 5-3 to the Chevrons at the death and the man in the middle again the villain of the piece according to the away fans 'Get back in that cracker where you came from'......

Not Heys' Heyday In Ridge of High Pressure

And so to the Mike Riding Ground on Inglewhite Road in Longridge for the North West Counties Division One North fixture between Longridge Town and Prestwich Heys.

Longridge Town FC was formed in 1996 when the two main clubs in the town, Longridge United and Longridge St Wilfred’s, amalgamated. Both clubs had histories dating back to the 19^th century when Longridge St Wilfred’s and Longridge St Lawrence were established.

Both clubs were based on sectarian grounds and played in their respective religious leagues. That situation existed to 1929 when Longridge St Lawrence became a non-sectarian club and changed name to Longridge United.

The new club started in the Preston & District League and subsequent promotions saw The Ridge elevated to the West Lancashire League Division Two in 2008. A runners up spot in their first season took them to Division One, where they were crowned champions in 2012.

The 2016/17 Premier Division title was clinched with a last day 1-0 win at closest rivals Blackpool Wren Rovers. Last season Town finished third and successfully applied to join the North West Counties Football League Division One North.

The Heys’ origins can be traced to February 9th 1938 when a meeting was called at the Music Room of the Heys Road Boys School with the idea of forming an Old Boys Association - the football arm becoming Heys Old Boys AFC. The Heys gradually progressed through the Bury Amateur League and South East Lancashire League, changing their name to Prestwich Heys AFC in 1964. The team joined the Lancashire Combination for the 1968/69 season.

Thousands flocked to see the Heys play in the FA Amateur Cup, with the victory over Sutton United in 1969 attracting nationwide coverage, coming a week before their opponents were due to meet Leeds United in the FA Cup. Truly the Heys' heyday !!

The club became a founder member of the North West Counties League in 1982 but were demoted to the Manchester League in 1986 due to ground grading issues. Under manager Adie Moran the Heys were champions for three successive seasons between 2005 and 2007. Tragically Moran was killed in a swimming accident in Sri Lanka at the age of 43 in June 2007 which left the club reeling.

After relegation battles, the club renamed the ground to Adie Moran Park in honour of their late manager and in 2016 won the Manchester League Premier Division - thereby returning to the North West Counties Football League after a 30 year absence. An 8^th place finish on their return was followed by third last season and play off elimination by Cammell Laird.

So on a grey warm afternoon I am passed by a pale blue VW Beetle with a plastic cow on its roof and a red cylinder marked 'Methane' on the boot (very odd), then it's signs for a lost parrot, Cowtown Grill and The Flamin' Chicken before that shuttered ELCTRICAL. TOILETORIES pound plus shop. Garvey's invite me to celebrate St Patrick's Day with them (17 March) - that's some advance warning...

The M60, Barton Bridge and a flurry of ambulances, the M61 (Incontinence Supplies at Internet Prices), a Highways Agency vehicle fitted with Acklea Scorpion and Botany Bay leads me to the M6 and struggling caravans.

Off at Junction 31a into massive industrial estates, a car dealership seemingly at every corner and a collection of stone buddhas outside the HA Fox Jaguar franchise. Then into Grimsargh and its Smile Clinic, past Alston Dairy and to Longridge 'The Gateway to the Ribble Valley'. Bypassing the town centre and choosing to eschew Quilters Quarters and Pristine Pooches I reach the Mike Riding Ground, named after the current club president, on Inglewhite Road at the northern tip of the town.

A very muddy and bepuddled car park awaits me and I fear the Abbey Hulton parking pandemonium is about to strike again - but I get the last encumbered spot to ensure a speedy getaway.

£5 at the turnstile includes a free programme and wonderful views of the Ribble Valley countryside. Only two sides of the ground are open - the popular side with a brand new 100 seater grandstand and its shiny red seats, next to the dressing rooms, clubhouse and then the Frank Jamieson Stand, a small four step covered terrace in the corner.

The other side open is behind the goal to my right, a path with warm up pitch beyond. The two closed sides are fenced off but more of that anon. The scale of new build housing developments – prices from a fiver less than £386,000 ‘Help Available To Buy’ and at those prices the help is sorely needed !! - at various stages of completion is immediately evident but the Alston Arms next to the ground and the unspoilt country views opposite both survive - for now.

The Ridge have won one, drawn one and lost one of their three league games thus far, with ten goals for and nine against. Strongly fancied Heys have won both league games and upset Abbey Hey from the league above in the FA Cup last week.

Town are all in red, Heys in light blue shirts and navy shorts. The first half is a wretched experience as a record bumper crowd of 211, the highest at this level in the whole country this weekend, have to endure a plague of blackfly, midges and wasps. The football is little better; not so much craft and guile, more graft and bile, a litany of free kicks and injuries, three yellow cards and much moaning and groaning.

The deadlock is scruffily broken midway through the half. Jay Hart, infamously sacked by Clitheroe FC for some after match hanky panky in the home dugout at Mossley, flicks on a Longridge corner, a deflected shot, appeals for a penalty, goal line scramble and Paul Turner scuffs in from a yard. Four minutes into stoppage time provides the only moment of quality in the first period. Tom Ince's perfectly flighted ball drops over Heys' Jacob Holt and Turner gorgeously lobs Mike Smith to make it 2-0 for the home team.

For the second half I seek solace on the opposite, fenced off, out of bounds, side. If nothing else I can watch the cricket match taking place in the valley below at Longridge CC....

There are no bugs, the sun breaks out briefly and the second 45 minutes proves rather incident packed. Within a minute Ridge lose the ball, Rio Wilson-Heyes is allowed to run and run before laying off to the burly Jamie Baguley whose left footer from 20 yards finds the corner of the net.

Heys hit the bar soon after and then come three incidents that enrage the away side. Theo Kidd is pushed in the penalty area, and with the linesman furiously flagging away, the referee waves play on. Then Town captain George Melling's dangerous tackle on Kidd receives a yellow card when it could, and maybe should, have been red.

Finally a woefully underhit back pass, indicative of some very nervy home defending is intercepted by Kidd. The ensuing melee sees the ball cleared off the line twice, twice apparently with the illegal use of a hand. Nothing is given and this prompts a torrent of abuse from the away bench. Both Heys' joint managers, Jon Lyons and Ryan Hutchinson, are banished to the stands in the aftermath.

Inevitably Ridge's next foray sees Alex Murphy upended in the box and the referee this time awards a penalty, which Richie Allen converts. Two minutes later Wilson-Heyes hits the crossbar for Prestwich, who must know by now it's not going to be their (hey)day.

A splendid piece of trickery sees Allen make space and curl a left footed effort which hits the underside of bar and inside of post and trickle along the line where fellow sub Joe Melling scrambles the ball home at the near post for 4-1.

And it's 5-1 with five minutes to go as an unmarked Dan Wilkinson heads in a free kick as Heys implode. To rub salt into their wounds Heys receive their third red card of the day at the death - Holt for a second yellow.

One final footnote - the referee today, the villain of the piece in Prestwich eyes, is called Mr Hay.......

Coar Blimey - Daisies Cut Down to Size

And so to The Riverside, and a first ever North West Counties game for Garstang FC – ‘The Town Team In The Heart of The Community’. Today’s visitors are Daisy Hill FC.

It is believed Garstang FC was formed in the late 1800s although the earliest documented records show the club won the Guildhall Cup in 1927 as a member of the Preston & District League. They remained in this league, moving from The Beeches to The Riverside, in the mid sixties. In 1994 the team stepped up to the West Lancashire League and, after a series of promotions and relegations, won the Premier Division title in 2008.

The following decade brought tragedy as four years later popular player Adam ’Jags’ Swanwick died of a heart attack at the age of 28. Then twice in eight months in December 2015 and August 2016 the adjoining River Wyre burst its banks and submerged the pitch.

However last season saw a thrilling league and cup double, and the club was accepted into the North West Counties Division One North as part of the nationwide restructure of non league football.

The Daisies, or The Cutters, were established in 1894 playing in the Wigan & District League. By the time of World War 1 the club had moved to the Leigh & District Senior Sunday School League and then the Westhoughton League, playing at New Sirs. The club folded before World War 2, but reformed in 1951 playing again in the Westhoughton League but now based at (the adjacent) St James Street & Cricket Ground - they moved back to New Sirs in 1957.

The Daisies then joined the Bolton Combination, which they won four times, before moving to the Lancashire Combination for 4 seasons and then becoming founder members of the North West Counties Football League in 1982.

The club was renamed Westhoughton Town during the period 1989-94, thereafter reverting back to Daisy Hill FC - they have never been promoted or relegated from the North West Counties, but only escaped demotion in 2014 because Leek CSOB and Formby resigned from the league, and last season because of the league restructuring, having finished bottom of the pile.

So on a warm sunny August afternoon it's past Mama’s Cakeria, Bake My Day, the shutters down on TOILETORIES ELCTRICAL at T & T Pound Plus and onto the M60 for Beyond Manchester (formerly known as The Chill Factore). Then the M61 and The Incontinence Shop (Incontinence Supplies At Internet Prices !!) and Botany Bay before joining the M6 and exiting at Broughton.

Then through Barton, sponsored by Kopper Kettle Furniture (oh dear !!), Myerscough and Bilsborrow, Catterall, and Barnacre with Bonds. That brings me to the pretty High Street in Garstang – the world’s first Fairtrade town – and some gorgeous floral arrangements.

The Riverside is on the High Street, through a council pay and display car park, and forms part of the Garstang Sports & Social Club - which also includes bowling, tennis and canoe and kayaking clubs amongst others.

£4 on the gate and a free teamsheet brings me into the three sided ground. At the near end is a small covered standing area in the corner behind which is the Wyre Way and the River Wyre - the club have a volunteer who stands outside the ground next to the river with a large net to retrieve wayward shots from the river.....and he does his job today !!

The popular side supports a narrow pathway looking down on a pitch that looks magnificent given the weather - green and lush grass. At the top end is the clubhouse with cricket pavilion adjoining, and behind it a raised walkway that hides Hudson Park, home of Garstang RUFC and Garstang Cricket Club Thirds in the summer.

There are no seats save for a couple of benches outside the clubhouse, which appear to have been commandeered by cricket spectators and, incongruously, a park bench on the banking side – and not forgetting the sole pensioner who brought his own deckchair…….

Opposite is a wire fence, all that separates the football pitch from the cricket field, where a game is in progress. Indeed both matches are interrupted by the wrong ball clearing the fence and landing on the opposite pitch...... In the distance are some lovely views of the distant hills and countryside.

Garstang are in red with black trim, the club badge woven into the lower half of their shirts. The Daisies, allegedly missing six players through holiday commitments, are in royal blue.

The first thirty seconds of the game define the first half. The sight of Cutters' keeper Craig Haynes lumbering across his box and unconvincingly tipping the ball wide with his wrong hand, having got his positioning all wrong, sets the tone.

Garstang only have to wait 8 minutes for their first North West Counties goal. Some sloppy play in midfield allows Billy McKenna to bypass a flatfooted defence and race down the wing and cross for Alan Coar to sidefoot home. The same player doubles the lead midway through the half with a free header from a corner.

Jake Salisbury's excellently struck effort just clears the corner of post and bar for Garstang, and the Daisies contribute nothing up front to trail 2-0 at the interval.

The half time break bizarrely lasts 20 minutes, and ends with Daisy Hill making a tactical substitution. Captain Jake Foster drops back into defence and Jamie Rimwell joins the fray. This certainly tightens things up and the away side fashion a couple of chances themselves. Danny Warburton's backflick loops just beyond the far post, and Rimwell, gifted a glorious opportunity from a poor goal kick, slices well wide when he should have done better.

That's as good as it gets for the Cutters as Garstang finish in the ascendancy. Haynes beats away a Jonny Hothersall piledriver and then Coar has a header cleared off the line by a combination of Haynes and Josh Fairhurst, as the home team comfortably see out the game as 2-0 victors in front of a slightly disappointing crowd of 83 – today’s Garstang Show competing for people’s attention perhaps?

Eccy Thump Old Boys - Eagles' Stags Party !

And so to Hawcoat and Rakesmoor for Holker Old Boys versus Eccleshall in the North West Counties Football League Division One - a fixture that on paper looks like an end of season dead rubber.....

Holker Old Boys AFC was established in 1936 as Holker Central Old Boys, initially as an under 16 side from the Old Boys of the then Holker Central Secondary School in Holker Street, Barrow-in-Furness. The school has long since closed, replaced by a Kwik Save supermarket which has also shut its doors.

 

The Cobs (Central Old Boys), also known as The Stags, joined the adult North Western League in 1939 and then entered the West Lancashire League in 1967. The club moved in 1971 to a new ground at Rakesmoor, formerly an isolation hospital and then allotments.

 

Holker won the West Lancashire League in 1987 ahead of local rivals Vickers Sports Club (now Hawcoat Park FC), and then moved to the North West Counties in 1991. The Cobs finished 3rd in 1994 behind Haslingden (now defunct) and North Trafford (now Trafford FC) but Haslingden failed the ground criteria so Holker were promoted to the top tier.

 

The Stags were relegated in 1999, after losing all 20 away games and scoring only 5 goals on their travels. They have remained at step 6 ever since, with a single losing play off appearance at the end of the 2014/15 season, defeated by Hanley Town.

Eccleshall Town FC was established in 1908 but the most successful local team of that era was Eccleshall Comrades, set up in 1918. The Comrades' most famous player was the FA Cup Final scorer and winner (for Wolves), and England amateur and full international, The Reverend KRG Hunt. The club also featured in a curious incident when Stone Christ Church were defeated 5-0. The game ended 10 minutes early when first one ball burst, then another and there were no more available.......

 

Both clubs became defunct and the current club was reformed in 1971 as Eccleshall Town Old Boys, the team made up of locals and staff from Eccleshall Secondary School, where they played their home games.

 

The Eagles joined the Staffordshire County League (North) in 1979, moved to Pershall Park in 1982 and ascended to the Staffordshire Senior League - now the Springbank Vending Midland League - in 1984. As Eccleshall FC championships were won in 1990 and then consecutively in 2001/02 and 2002/03. With work complete on the stadium the club moved up to the North West Counties Football League in 2003, but several seasons of inconsistency followed before two dreadful campaigns.

 

2015/16's 16th place finish owed much to the ineptitude of the two clubs below them - Atherton Laburnum Rovers and Whitchurch Alport. Last term the Eagles finished 21st with 18 points from 42 matches and conceded 145 goals. Relegation was only avoided because of an injury time equaliser in the 3-3 draw away at bottom club Ashton Town, who finished one point below Eccy, and the fact that only one club met the league's promotion criteria. A much improved season this time should see a below midtable finish and safety, and a bit more pride in their boast of 'We Play For The Badge & The Oat Cakes - We Are Eccy !!!'

So on an afternoon when the sun is cracking the flags, Washway Road sees Anti Abortion protesters and the continued closure of T&T Pound Plus - surely no more TOILETORIES and ELCTRICAL will be sold.....

 

The M60 then the M61, 'Incontinence Supplies at Internet Prices' and Botany Bay, then traffic gets sticky joining the M6. Off at the A590 and the chance to enjoy some magnificent views of the Cumbrian countryside, as I turn towards the coast at Brettargh Holt and the ospreys at Foulshaw Moss.

 

Ignoring signs to Canny Hill and Bobbin Mill it's through Newby Bridge, a house bisecting the A road (Cumbria's answer to the farm in the middle of the M62 ?), Greenodd and Arrad Foot. Then the Lakeland Motor Museum and into Ulverston, with its purple and pink houses and the Laurel & Hardy Museum at The Roxy.

Then Swarthmoor and Lindal-in-Furness, with its signs for Wax Lyrical, and finally a turn to Hawcoat and down a farm track, the single file Rakesmoor Lane which brings me to Holker Old Boys AFC. Lunch is spent overlooking Walney Island, shimmering in the Barrovian sun.

 

I park in the small club car park, full despite today's attendance of 40, swelled by the late arrival of a minibus and taxis - three fixtures in the same league have lower crowds today. £4 at the gate and inside Rakesmoor to the left, in the corner, is a covered stand, with fading red and white seats. To the right are the changing rooms and clubhouse - the men's toilets bearing a plaque 'The Jim Redfern Suite'....

 

Next to the clubhouse is a skeletal Heath Robinson style structure, providing intermittent cover and more suited for chaining bicycles to !! The rest of the ground is open with a single railing, surrounded by the edge of a housing estate, farmland and Barrow Golf Club - and some terrific rural views, notwithstanding the haze.

Holker are in green and white, Eccy in change all red with white trim on another pitch with a prodigious slope. It soon becomes clear that both sides have adopted a mullet hairstyle formation - the business up front, all party at the back.....

 

On 11 minutes home captain Philip Coombe skips past three limp challenges to confidently place the ball beyond away keeper Matt Johnson. The lead is doubled a quarter of an hour later, as from a flick on Brandon Collins outmuscles his marker and curls the ball with his left foot into the top corner.

 

Straight from the kick off and without the Stags touching the ball, a lovely Eccy move ends with Tom Wakefield crossing from the right and the ball eventually reaches Louis Downs who tucks it away. The Eagles are level two minutes later as Downs is set free down the wing, the covering defender collapses with a pulled hamstring and Downs sidefoots into the far corner.

 

Holker then have a goal disallowed and Eccy lead 3-2 at the break as Shay Finney's shot is poked home by Dan Needham. After a breathless first period half time arrives, and a chat with a thirtysomething groundhopper from Worthing - who will get home in the small hours and then travel to deepest Devon tomorrow for Witheridge v Sticker in the South West Peninsula !

 

No let up in the second half either - Wakefield's majestic through ball leaves Needham one on one and he scores imperiously, despite heated protests of offside. That goal is bettered shortly after by Bradley Hubbold's gorgeous strike from just outside the penalty box to bring it back to 4-3.

 

The game then goes into a lull, tempers get frayed and Johnson makes two fine saves to preserve Eccy's lead. The crescendo arrives when Jordan Bennion's crossfield ball is volleyed home by The Eagles' George Burslem with two minutes to go, and the home side strike bar and post in injury time.

 

Holker 3 Eccleshall 5 at the death - so much for a dead rubber !!!

Mariners All At Sea Then Net A Point - Unicorns Soon To Be Extinct

And so to Queen's Terrace, although I prefer its more commonly known name Dimple Wells, to a stadium and a club that effectively cease to exist in 3 weeks' time. It's the home of Ossett Albion AFC, 7 games unbeaten, and the visitors today are South Shields, 5 wins on the bounce, in the Evostik Northern Premier Division One North.

The home club was set up in 1944 during the Second World War for local Grammar School students. The Unicorns rose through the West Riding County Amateur League and West Yorkshire League before joining the Yorkshire League in 1957, where they were Division One champions in 1975.

In 1982 the Yorkshire League joined up with the Midland League to form the Northern Counties East League. Albion were Premier League champions in 1999 but were denied promotion to the Northern Premier League because one of their dressing rooms was too small !!

Two years later the Unicorns finished as runners up to Brigg Town but were promoted instead of the Zebras. That first season in the Northern Premier saw Albion finish bottom and relegation back to the Northern Counties East - but two seasons later the club were promoted as champions on a dramatic final day, pipping Eastwood Town by virtue of goals scored with both teams locked on the same number of points and goal difference.

Fourteen seasons later Albion remain in the same division, but this will be their last. In February it was announced that Ossett Albion will merge with near neighbours Ossett Town this summer to become Ossett United, with the new club playing at Town's Ingfield base under the stewardship of Albion's Andy Welsh.

A few references have been found to the origins of a town football club playing in the 1870s, but the first recorded public appearance of a named South Shields AFC was in 1888. Several other local clubs flickered but it was the South Shields Adelaide Athletic club, set up in 1899, that went on to be elected to the Second Division of the Football League in 1919 as South Shields FC.

Lack of public support meant only the sale of its best players and FA Cup runs kept Shields in business. Inevitably, without money to bail the club out of impending bankruptcy, the only possible viable alternative to closure was to move. In 1930 the club left the town and moved to Gateshead, where it was welcomed. 

A new club was established in 1936, nicknamed 'The Babes', before becoming 'The Mariners' in 1950 on its move from Horsley Hill to Simonside Hall. Shields played in several leagues until joining the Northern Premier League in 1968.

However 'insufficient' match attendances prompted the directors to sell Simonside Hall in 1974 with a view to returning to Horsley Hill. In a controversial and quite disastrous land fiasco both sites were transformed into housing sites. The club was penniless and homeless - and history repeated itself as the team went to Gateshead again, re-emerging as Gateshead United FC and taking Shields' place in the NPL.

A new club, South Shields Mariners FC, was formed immediately, based at the council's Jack Clark Park, and began a 17 year crusade for a home of its own. The club progressed through the Northern Alliance and Wearside League to the Northern League.

In 1992 the redundant and vandalised sports club and ground of Filtrona FC in Jarrow became available. It was purchased by club chairman John Rundle and the Mariners had a new home - Filtrona Park. Rundle was a volatile man, twice publicly threatening the club with closure, and (in)famously locking the gates at Filtrona Park ahead of a home match in 2006.

At the end of the 2012/13 season South Shields were relegated from Northern League Division One, and forced to move to Eden Park, Peterlee after their lease expired. Two seasons with average attendances of 69 and 70 meant the club faced a huge challenge to survive.

After being taken over by new chairman Geoff Thompson in the summer of 2015 he subsequently bought Filtrona Park, now renamed Mariners Park, and the club moved back. Under the captaincy of ex Sunderland and Middlesbrough midfielder Julio Arca the Mariners won Northern League Division Two title in 2015/16.

Last season saw a famous quadruple - the Northern League Division One title, after a 32 game winning streak, the Durham Challenge Cup, the Northern League Challenge Cup and a 4-0 victory in the FA Vase at Wembley against Cleethorpes Town. Average attendances increased to 1,226.

This season Shields are top of the NPL Division One North, three points clear with two games in hand. Darlington and York City, two steps higher, were both knocked out of the FA Cup.

So on a very wet afternoon it's onto the desperately potholed Washway Road with standing pools of water. Past the new Bake My Day and the old, execrable T & T Pound Plus 'TOILETORIES. ELCTRICAL' - open 7 days but now permanently shuttered, and to the M60.

From there through to the M62, and Saddleworth Moor, Rakehead Viaduct and Windy Hill - the M62 Summit, 'Highest motorway in England 372m (1221 feet)'. Then Scammonden Reservoir, Rainbow Bridge and Stott Hall Farm, the latter parked between both carriageways.

Beyond Hartshead Moor then off at Tingley, ignoring Woodkirk Valley Country Club and Bake 'n' Bites, past Dewsbury Rams stadium to the outskirts of Ossett - a town named after 'A fold of a man named Osla' or 'A fold frequented by blackbirds' depending on your fancy !

The Warehouse Systems Stadium is located through a small residential estate off Queen's Road, flanked on one side by the Ebenezer Particular Baptist Chapel and on the other by Dimple Well Lodge, where a wedding is in progress. A narrow entrance between the houses, one car width only, brings me to some crown green bowling, an AstroTurf pitch where several boys' football matches are coming to an end, the cricket club and then the football club.

£7 admission and inside Dimple Wells is a glorious old fashioned, slightly decaying non-league ground. Immediately to my right is the Tea Bar, rubbing shoulders with the cricket scoreboard and then an incredibly shallow two step terrace, the scene of much congestion during the afternoon. It's worth it for the picturesque views of the distant countryside as the sun beats down - for half an hour at least as the visiting Geordies remove layer after layer of clothing.

At the Orchard End is a small covered terrace behind the goal and across the way the main Barracuda Fisheries stand, with access via a narrow, bepuddled tunnel. Next to this is the Boardroom which resembles a mobile classroom.....

The near end supports more covered terracing, the clubhouse and Peter Eaton Bar, named after club stalwart Peter Eaton who played over 800 games for the Unicorns, plus the dressing rooms and press box. All four sides are taken over by magnificent and vocal away support.

The Unicorns are in gold and black and the Mariners in change white and claret on a pitch with a significant slope from side to side. After a tentative start Albion draw first blood on 13 minutes. A ball inside Shields' left back Darren Lough sees him hesitate, as does keeper Liam Connell, and centre forward Tom Corner nips in to score - although the ball should have been cleared off the line.

Thirty seconds later Mariners' Jon Shaw has a clearance charged down and the ball is played to Gibraltar international Adam Priestley who scores with a glorious finish in the top corner for 2-0. 'That's the game gone, man' is the pessimistic viewpoint from next to me.

As Shields toil, the Unicorns are clearly up for the fight and the game relies less on craft and guile, but rather more on graft and bile. The simmering undercurrent boils over seven minutes before half time. Arca is fouled for the umpteenth time, reacts and an ugly melee ensues, resulting in four bookings. Robert Briggs' scuffed shot wide in injury time is the Mariners' only real opportunity of the half.

The second half sees a rejuvenated Shields side, helped by a goal within the first two minutes. Louis Storey's shot into the ground is glanced home by Michael Richardson, and with Arca now running the midfield further chances follow. Lee Mason is denied by a wonderful fingertip save from Neil Bennett, Dillon Morse has an effort clawed off the line with substitute Graeme Armstrong heading the rebound over, and Storey fires wide.

Inevitably the Mariners equalise at the midpoint - Shaw atoning by heading home Arca's inswinging corner. Albion then soak up the pressure and, in a rare foray forward, Marcus Day shoots straight down Connell's throat. The final opportunity falls to Armstrong who heads wide in stoppage time when he should have done better.....

2-2 at the death then, and a bumper crowd of 502, two thirds from Shields at least, departs.....eventually as the housing estate cannot cope with the parking and traffic, and three supporters' buses clogging up the main road. The local residents probably can't wait for three weeks' time......