Oakmen ? More Like Jokemen... Fortunately Alty Hale In Reserve !!

And so to December and Oakwood Farm in Styal for a Manchester League Division One fixture between Wilmslow Albion and Altrincham Hale.

Wilmslow Albion was established in 1919 and spent the majority of their formative years in the South East Lancashire League, finishing as runners up in 1928/29.

Subsequently Albion joined the Mid Cheshire League where they were runners up, behind Linotype, in 1961. A move to the Manchester League, combined with a decline in fortunes, led to a merger with local side Lindow and a change of name to Wilmslow Town - plus a switch to the Lancashire and Cheshire League.

But soon after Wilmslow Albion was reborn, merging with Dean Vale in 1976/77. Albion relocated from the Old Carnival Field on Water Lane in Wilmslow to Oakwood Farm and reverted to the Manchester League in 1998.

Promotions to the top tier in 2003 (relegated in 2006) and 2016 - a one season aberration that saw two wins, 26 defeats and a goal difference of -83, leaves the Oakmen back in Division One. This time Wilmslow kicked off with a 4-0 thumping of Tintwistle Athletic, but since then one point from 33 leaves them 11th and comfortably adrift, staring relegation to the bottom rung in the face - having played 12 games, and with only 11 clubs in the division, probably early in the New Year..

Altrincham Hale FC was established in 2007 playing in the local Altrincham & District League, before joining the Manchester League Division One in 2017. Immediate relegation was followed by swift promotion as champions in 2018.

11th of 13 in the abandoned 2019/20 season, Alty Hale sat next to bottom at null and voidance last term, with only three games played because of a Covid outbreak at the start of the season - one win and 2 defeats. Currently sitting 9th, with games in hand, the Green and Whites have 13 points from 10 games.

 

..Onto Park Road, past Star Bridge pizzeria (formerly Istanbul Grill - a front for a convicted drug dealer), then House of Boba (bubble tea), Movie Makers (every Wednesday !), Timperley Stove & Fuel Centre, Yew Tree Villas and in the village centre Be Precious - more bubble tea (?) but not yet open. All the while with numberplates TR10 MOP (Cleanology), 5000N and M33 WET (a plumber from Sale) on the way.

Then the Larkhill Centre, the Commonwealth War Graves and left to Clay Lane, Bowdon Rugby Club before I reach Roaring Gate Lane, Davenport Green and the vast expanse that forms Manchester Airport. Right into Styal and Oakwood Farm is opposite Quarry Bank Mill, just before the women's prison.

The complex comprises Wilmslow Albion's headquarters, Wilmslow Phoenix Sports Club, hockey and lacrosse teams, a cricket pitch and an artificial surface hosting a hockey match alongside which I see a late, late goal. Sadly early signs are not good with the football car park locked, the clubhouse shuttered and the phone unanswered - Alty Hale's contact number proves to be someone no longer connected to the club.... Sadly a second consecutive week where the crowd is one, but all other similarities disappear - no players warming up, no corner flags, no officials or indeed anybody or anything this time....

The ground itself is tree lined, and definitely not waterlogged, and aside from the clubhouse hosts a bijou covered stand, capacity circa ten (or less depending on Covid rules....) and a number of wind whipped plastic advertising hoardings blown inside out. Postponement eventually reaches Twitter 20 hours after the scheduled 2pm kick off time....

 

So I beat a hasty retreat to see if Alty Hale Reserves' match against Dukinfield Town Reserves, in Division Three, has beaten the vile weather - heavy rain and a vicious icy wind; and it has.... Parking on Balmoral Road I arrive as Duki, in green and white, take the lead from a defensive mix up. Several dreadful misses at both ends precede Alty Hale, in change yellow and green, equalising from a penalty and then going ahead to leave it 2-1 at the break. 

Dukinfield level up early in the second half and then take the lead, as the crowd of 4 is supplemented by a dogwalker - the dog immediately assigned to search and rescue duties, and successfully recovering two balls kicked out of the ground.

Alty Hale turn things around to go 4-3 up, but are hit by a three goal salvo in the last ten minutes as Duki Town win 6-4 to go top of the table in a match that threatens to boil over with a brawl, just before the interval, and several tackles bordering on manslaughter....

 

Quite a day !!

Alty Hale A Perfect Ten At The BTH (Breightmet Totally Hammered)

And so after last weekend's FA Vase drama between Warrington Rylands 1906 FC and West Auckland Town, with Town, who despite being thrashed 4-0 at North Ferriby in the previous round, progressing due to the Villagers' ineligible player and expulsion in their own farcical version of 'Been To Hull and Back', it's to Urban Road in Altrincham. There stands BTH (Blessed Thomas Holford School), the home of Manchester League First Division Altrincham Hale FC, for another Murray Trophy fixture, with the visitors being Second Division Breightmet United FC.

Altrincham Hale FC was established in 2007 playing in the local Altrincham & District League, before joining the Manchester League Division One in 2017. Immediate relegation was followed by swift promotion as champions in 2018.

11th of 13 in the abandoned 2019/20 season, Alty Hale sat next to bottom at null and voidance last term, having played only three games because of a Covid outbreak at the start of the season - one win and 2 defeats.

Breightmet United was founded in 1880, plying its trade in the Bolton & District Amateur League, West Lancashire League and the Bolton Combination. Indeed United contributed a leather bound West Lancashire League membership book for the 1888/89 season to the National Football Museum.

In 1911 Breightmet reached the first round of the FA Cup, one game away from playing the mighty Arsenal. A narrow 1-0 reverse to Darwen, but the Salmoners were annihilated 10-1 at Highbury - a lucky escape for United ??

1935 saw United buy their Bury Road ground for £453 with the club subsequently joining the Manchester League Division One for the 1990/91 season. Champions in 2003, but relegated in 2009, Breightmet were placed in Division Two for the 2017/18 campaign.

2018/19 was the club's nadir: one draw in 24 games, -2 points following a deduction and a goal difference of -147. 2019/20 produced 5 points from 14 games, but at least in the current aborted season, only commenced following receipt of a Sport England grant which saved the club from extinction, 8th place out of 11 with seven points from seven games was a welcome improvement.

 

A short journey that takes in Canal Side Dog Groomers, Happy Panda, Altrincham Bridge, built 1765, widened 1850, widened (again) 1907 then rebuilt in 1935, and GW Bonson Heated Store Rooms, now home to Tre Ciccio and Yamaha Music School, with registration plates DOO8Y and, remarkably, AVE 1T - fools and their money are soon parted.....

Beyond Farrat Isolevel and then the Sacred Arts Trust brings me to Urban Road and BTH and the 'caged' artificial pitch. Crucially a public footpath runs past the adjacent golf course and secondary school, meaning spectators are allowed - today's attendance, the ultimate in social distancing, is one (we know who you are), although there are cameo appearances from three dog walkers on St Vincent's Primary School playing field on the opposite side in the second half.... Across the way are the changing rooms and Station House looming large at the back.

Altrincham Hale are in green and white stripes, Breightmet in black and white - seemingly wearing a variety of previous seasons' kits with shirt sponsors Bid Group, Riverside Motors, 365 Engines and APC Couriers all on display. No rush to get started either - 1406 sees kick off whilst the missing corner flags are retrieved and put in place.

The porosity of Breightmet's offside trap is soon in evidence, and after a couple of near misses Kyle Old is played through and scores comfortably on 6 minutes. Seven minutes on he benefits again to make it 2-0.

Alty Hale fashion a succession of chances, with Breightmet's only response a free kick from their own half, which the home keeper desperately claws away. Finally, on 33, Charlie Davies shoots home, and four minutes later Old has his hat trick for 4-0 and the half finishes with Lewis Carthew's bullet header to leave the green and whites five up at the interval.

The second period brings no reprieve with home centre half Nathe sweetly tucking home and Old adding another due to some shocking goalkeeping - the ball hitting both posts and then apologetically trickling over the line, both within the first ten minutes.

Then, surprisingly 28 minutes without a goal. Hale hit the underside of the bar but are largely wasteful, whilst United register another shot, all the while with some of their players substituted, changing pitchside and then going to work...

The final seven minutes sees Alty Hale hit ten - Carthew, from more dreadful keeping, a ninth with a sumptuous volley across the keeper, and Carthew's hat trick from a penalty with the last kick of the game (the sole spectator claiming an assist having retrieved the ball and kicked it over the fence back to the penalty taker) - the referee sparing Breightmet from any stoppage time.

Then off to Moss Lane for the second half of Altrincham v Notts County, also an attendance of one, acting as an impromptu external ball boy....