Mariners All At Sea Then Net A Point - Unicorns Soon To Be Extinct

And so to Queen's Terrace, although I prefer its more commonly known name Dimple Wells, to a stadium and a club that effectively cease to exist in 3 weeks' time. It's the home of Ossett Albion AFC, 7 games unbeaten, and the visitors today are South Shields, 5 wins on the bounce, in the Evostik Northern Premier Division One North.

The home club was set up in 1944 during the Second World War for local Grammar School students. The Unicorns rose through the West Riding County Amateur League and West Yorkshire League before joining the Yorkshire League in 1957, where they were Division One champions in 1975.

In 1982 the Yorkshire League joined up with the Midland League to form the Northern Counties East League. Albion were Premier League champions in 1999 but were denied promotion to the Northern Premier League because one of their dressing rooms was too small !!

Two years later the Unicorns finished as runners up to Brigg Town but were promoted instead of the Zebras. That first season in the Northern Premier saw Albion finish bottom and relegation back to the Northern Counties East - but two seasons later the club were promoted as champions on a dramatic final day, pipping Eastwood Town by virtue of goals scored with both teams locked on the same number of points and goal difference.

Fourteen seasons later Albion remain in the same division, but this will be their last. In February it was announced that Ossett Albion will merge with near neighbours Ossett Town this summer to become Ossett United, with the new club playing at Town's Ingfield base under the stewardship of Albion's Andy Welsh.

A few references have been found to the origins of a town football club playing in the 1870s, but the first recorded public appearance of a named South Shields AFC was in 1888. Several other local clubs flickered but it was the South Shields Adelaide Athletic club, set up in 1899, that went on to be elected to the Second Division of the Football League in 1919 as South Shields FC.

Lack of public support meant only the sale of its best players and FA Cup runs kept Shields in business. Inevitably, without money to bail the club out of impending bankruptcy, the only possible viable alternative to closure was to move. In 1930 the club left the town and moved to Gateshead, where it was welcomed. 

A new club was established in 1936, nicknamed 'The Babes', before becoming 'The Mariners' in 1950 on its move from Horsley Hill to Simonside Hall. Shields played in several leagues until joining the Northern Premier League in 1968.

However 'insufficient' match attendances prompted the directors to sell Simonside Hall in 1974 with a view to returning to Horsley Hill. In a controversial and quite disastrous land fiasco both sites were transformed into housing sites. The club was penniless and homeless - and history repeated itself as the team went to Gateshead again, re-emerging as Gateshead United FC and taking Shields' place in the NPL.

A new club, South Shields Mariners FC, was formed immediately, based at the council's Jack Clark Park, and began a 17 year crusade for a home of its own. The club progressed through the Northern Alliance and Wearside League to the Northern League.

In 1992 the redundant and vandalised sports club and ground of Filtrona FC in Jarrow became available. It was purchased by club chairman John Rundle and the Mariners had a new home - Filtrona Park. Rundle was a volatile man, twice publicly threatening the club with closure, and (in)famously locking the gates at Filtrona Park ahead of a home match in 2006.

At the end of the 2012/13 season South Shields were relegated from Northern League Division One, and forced to move to Eden Park, Peterlee after their lease expired. Two seasons with average attendances of 69 and 70 meant the club faced a huge challenge to survive.

After being taken over by new chairman Geoff Thompson in the summer of 2015 he subsequently bought Filtrona Park, now renamed Mariners Park, and the club moved back. Under the captaincy of ex Sunderland and Middlesbrough midfielder Julio Arca the Mariners won Northern League Division Two title in 2015/16.

Last season saw a famous quadruple - the Northern League Division One title, after a 32 game winning streak, the Durham Challenge Cup, the Northern League Challenge Cup and a 4-0 victory in the FA Vase at Wembley against Cleethorpes Town. Average attendances increased to 1,226.

This season Shields are top of the NPL Division One North, three points clear with two games in hand. Darlington and York City, two steps higher, were both knocked out of the FA Cup.

So on a very wet afternoon it's onto the desperately potholed Washway Road with standing pools of water. Past the new Bake My Day and the old, execrable T & T Pound Plus 'TOILETORIES. ELCTRICAL' - open 7 days but now permanently shuttered, and to the M60.

From there through to the M62, and Saddleworth Moor, Rakehead Viaduct and Windy Hill - the M62 Summit, 'Highest motorway in England 372m (1221 feet)'. Then Scammonden Reservoir, Rainbow Bridge and Stott Hall Farm, the latter parked between both carriageways.

Beyond Hartshead Moor then off at Tingley, ignoring Woodkirk Valley Country Club and Bake 'n' Bites, past Dewsbury Rams stadium to the outskirts of Ossett - a town named after 'A fold of a man named Osla' or 'A fold frequented by blackbirds' depending on your fancy !

The Warehouse Systems Stadium is located through a small residential estate off Queen's Road, flanked on one side by the Ebenezer Particular Baptist Chapel and on the other by Dimple Well Lodge, where a wedding is in progress. A narrow entrance between the houses, one car width only, brings me to some crown green bowling, an AstroTurf pitch where several boys' football matches are coming to an end, the cricket club and then the football club.

£7 admission and inside Dimple Wells is a glorious old fashioned, slightly decaying non-league ground. Immediately to my right is the Tea Bar, rubbing shoulders with the cricket scoreboard and then an incredibly shallow two step terrace, the scene of much congestion during the afternoon. It's worth it for the picturesque views of the distant countryside as the sun beats down - for half an hour at least as the visiting Geordies remove layer after layer of clothing.

At the Orchard End is a small covered terrace behind the goal and across the way the main Barracuda Fisheries stand, with access via a narrow, bepuddled tunnel. Next to this is the Boardroom which resembles a mobile classroom.....

The near end supports more covered terracing, the clubhouse and Peter Eaton Bar, named after club stalwart Peter Eaton who played over 800 games for the Unicorns, plus the dressing rooms and press box. All four sides are taken over by magnificent and vocal away support.

The Unicorns are in gold and black and the Mariners in change white and claret on a pitch with a significant slope from side to side. After a tentative start Albion draw first blood on 13 minutes. A ball inside Shields' left back Darren Lough sees him hesitate, as does keeper Liam Connell, and centre forward Tom Corner nips in to score - although the ball should have been cleared off the line.

Thirty seconds later Mariners' Jon Shaw has a clearance charged down and the ball is played to Gibraltar international Adam Priestley who scores with a glorious finish in the top corner for 2-0. 'That's the game gone, man' is the pessimistic viewpoint from next to me.

As Shields toil, the Unicorns are clearly up for the fight and the game relies less on craft and guile, but rather more on graft and bile. The simmering undercurrent boils over seven minutes before half time. Arca is fouled for the umpteenth time, reacts and an ugly melee ensues, resulting in four bookings. Robert Briggs' scuffed shot wide in injury time is the Mariners' only real opportunity of the half.

The second half sees a rejuvenated Shields side, helped by a goal within the first two minutes. Louis Storey's shot into the ground is glanced home by Michael Richardson, and with Arca now running the midfield further chances follow. Lee Mason is denied by a wonderful fingertip save from Neil Bennett, Dillon Morse has an effort clawed off the line with substitute Graeme Armstrong heading the rebound over, and Storey fires wide.

Inevitably the Mariners equalise at the midpoint - Shaw atoning by heading home Arca's inswinging corner. Albion then soak up the pressure and, in a rare foray forward, Marcus Day shoots straight down Connell's throat. The final opportunity falls to Armstrong who heads wide in stoppage time when he should have done better.....

2-2 at the death then, and a bumper crowd of 502, two thirds from Shields at least, departs.....eventually as the housing estate cannot cope with the parking and traffic, and three supporters' buses clogging up the main road. The local residents probably can't wait for three weeks' time......

Where's Wally ? James Suckers The Bloods As Seadogs Bite Back

And so on a cold, sunny January afternoon it's off to Butcher's Arms, the home of Droylsden FC, for this afternoon's visit of high flying Scarborough Athletic in the Evostik Northern Premier League Division One North.

Droylsden FC was originally formed in 1892 at the invitation of Joseph Cropper, the landlord of the Butcher's Arms, to play behind the pub. The club emerged out of World War One as the sole survivor of the village teams, as a member of the Manchester League and with colours of red and white - the inspiration for their nickname 'The Bloods'. The 1930s produced two Manchester League championships with record goalscorer Ernest Gillibrand plundering 275 goals in just 4 seasons (yes 4 seasons !!).

Spells in the Lancashire Combination and Cheshire League followed before the sale of the Butcher's Arms lease to Belle Vue FC, who renamed themselves Droylsden United. The Bloods were forced out to nearby Moorside Trotting Stadium aka 'Pork Park'. The town wasn't big enough to support two teams and eventually a merger was negotiated.

Two decades in the Lancashire Combination ended with a return to the Cheshire League, and Droylsden then became a founder member of the North West Counties in 1982. Gradually the club ascended to the Conference North, and spent one season in the Conference National in 2007/08.

Since then two second round FA Cup adventures have been the highlights. In 2008/09 the Bloods beat League 2 side Darlington 1-0 to set up a four game thriller with Chesterfield. Two matches were abandoned through fog and floodlight failure, there was a 2-2 draw and Droylsden then beat the Spireites 2-1 to earn a third round tie at Ipswich. Except it never happened as double goalscorer Sean Newton was found to be ineligible, and The Bloods were expelled from the competition.

Two years later Droylsden hosted a televised second round tie with Leyton Orient which was drawn. In the replay the Bloods were 2-0 up at Brisbane Road until two late goals drew Orient level, and the league side then went on the rampage in extra time to win 8-2.

Three relegations in six years see Droylsden at their current level. The last of these was the horrific 2013/14 campaign - one win all season, relegated in February and no playing budget whatsoever with the club battling to pay off a £280,000 VAT debt that threatened its very existence. To be fair to club owner, chairman and manager, the irascible Dave Pace, he refused to put the club into administration and vowed to pay it all back.

Scarborough Athletic FC was set up on 25 June 2007 by the Seadog Trust. This was five days after the liquidation of Scarborough FC - £2.5 million in debt and unable to sell the McCain Stadium to a housing developer due to a covenant restricting it to sporting activities.

The Seadogs joined the Northern Counties East League Division One, groundsharing at Bridlington Town's Queensgate stadium. Two seasons in they were crowned as champions and promoted to the Premier Division, with Brian France as manager. In their second season in the top flight France was struck in the face by a ball at Liversedge and suffered a brain haemorrhage - he never managed the club again.

In 2012/13 'Boro clinched the NCEL title and were promoted to the Northern Premier Division One South (bizarrely !!) under their magnificently named manager Rudy Funk. The Seadogs were moved laterally to Division One North after one season.

At the start of this campaign the club, after ten years at Bridlington, finally returned to the town at the new Flamingo Land Stadium at Weaponness. After play off defeat last time, the Seadogs currently lie third with attendances having nearly trebled.

It's Metrostink today, and a tram full of bleary eyed Manchester City fans on their way to the FA Cup tie with Burnley. A tram also held up by a disabled man's wheelchair becoming trapped halfway in the door.

Change at Cornbrook and Metrolink's decision to run single units produces cattle truck conditions. Through the city centre and past the modern apartments in New Islington before it's time to breathe again after most disembark at the Etihad. Then beyond the National Cycling Centre to Clayton Hall, home of Carp Fever, and the aptly named Cemetery Road - and yes there is a funeral directors just round the corner !!

This brings me into the town, past Droylsden Pigeon Corn Supplies and Dumplins Chicken Split Shop - the latter, like several other outlets, appearing to have closed. Butcher's Arms is a five minute stroll from the tram stop, just beyond The Beehive and The King's Head (formerly the Butcher's Arms).

Through two fine wrought iron gates is the grandstand, The William Pace Stand, and a Press Box that remains empty throughout the afternoon. Next to it is the impressive (and warm !) clubhouse whilst to the left is a tidy covered terrace, spoilt by copious amounts of pigeon droppings (I blame that Corn Supplies shop !!) and a strange Aardvark Concrete hoarding. Opposite is some wonky terracing, with the other end an open tarmacked area, bordered by houses.

The crowd of 334 is swelled by at least half supporting 'Boro, in good voice and with several flags ('Seadog Trucker On Tour'). The Bloods are in all red, the Seadogs in change all yellow.

The pitch is an absolute pudding and, along with an icy swirling wind, not conducive to good football. Nonetheless Droylsden's Luke Daly is able to waltz past 5 Scarborough players, all too easily, and smash the ball past Thomas Taylor to give the Bloods an early lead.

Droylsden's intricate passing plays the conditions better compared to the Seadogs' rather flat first half display. The Bloods' strike force of Sefton Gonzalez and Ciaran Kilheeney also poses a more potent threat than the visitors' much vaunted Mike Coulson and James Walshaw.

From a breakaway Kilheeney gets in a shot that Taylor parries but Gonzalez, with the ball behind him, can't keep his shot from clearing the crossbar. The Seadogs can only muster a Lewis Sugden shot wide and, after Bloods' keeper Richie Branagan spills a corner, Max Wright's chip is over.

Very early in the second half Gonzalez is withdrawn with an injury, and the Bloods set out to hold what they have, stifling the Seadogs and playing on the counter. Wright and Coulson shoot over, and Sam Hewitt hits the outside of the post as it becomes an afternoon of frustration for 'Boro.

Then Droylsden lose both full backs to injury and the dismembered defence is suddenly all at sea. But it's still not until the 76th minute when Walshaw is felled in the penalty area and Coulson drills the penalty home. Bloods’ owner Dave Pace becomes ever more animated…..

The home defence is sliced open immediately and Walshaw is through but Branagan smothers. Little matter as in the next break the defence is carved open again and this time Walshaw dinks the ball over Branagan – and the Seadogs lead with ten minutes to go. Four minutes later Coulson plays in Walshaw who finishes decisively for 3-1, the match and second place in the table.

Morning Glory For Red Army As Seagulls Fail To Swoop And Conquer

And so to Holt House on a glorious sun drenched spring afternoon for an Evo Stik Northern Premier League Division One North match between Colne FC and Colwyn Bay.

Colne FC's history begins with The Colne Dynamoes Debacle. The Dynamoes were formed by chairman manager Graham 'Chalkie' White in 1963 as a team for former students of Primet High School. Initially the club played in the Nelson and Colne League and, after promotion through the local leagues, joined the Lancashire Combination in 1975.

 

The Dynamoes were founder members of the North West Counties Football League in 1982, winning the Third Division at the first attempt. White, having made millions from his businesses, began to plough money into the club and at the end of the 1987/88 season the club was elevated to the First Division.

 

In the following term the Dynamoes won the championship on goal difference from Rossendale United, and captured the FA Vase beating Emley 1-0 in the Wembley final. The club was promoted to the First Division of the Northern Premier League and with further bankrolling from White, including signing former Liverpool player Alan Kennedy, the Dynamoes won the First Division with only a single defeat during the season.

 

In the summer of 1989 the club went full time, and they won the Premier Division by a margin of 26 points and reached the FA Trophy semi finals. However the Dynamoes were refused promotion to the Conference as Holt House did not meet ground grading requirements. White attempted a ground share with Burnley, reportedly offering £500,000 to play at Turf Moor, but was turned down.

 

After a pre season friendly against Newcastle Blue Star in the summer of 1990, White informed the players that the club was to fold. He quit football amidst rumours of death threats and that the money had run out, with Holt House used by the Colne Royal British Legion club until it too fell by the wayside in 1995.

 

Colne FC, 'The Reds', was established in January 1996 and joined the North West Counties Football League Division Two, finishing bottom of the league. After several lower half finishes the Reds won the division in the 2003/04 season, earning promotion to the top division and reaching the FA Vase semi finals, along the way winning 2-1 at AFC Wimbledon. Last season Colne were crowned Premier Division champions, leading to a first season in Division One North of the Northern Premier League.

The visitors from Llanelian Road are Clwb Pel-Droed Bae Colwyn, or Colwyn Bay Football Club to you and me. The Seagulls from Old Colwyn were first formed in 1881 and entered the North Wales Coast Football League in 1901 until it folded in 1921, when they moved across to join the Welsh National League. The club then became founder members in 1930 of the North Wales Football Combination (which also covered Cheshire !!) which they immediately won and moved up to join the Birmingham District League....

 

The Seagulls returned to Welsh football in 1937 in the form of the Welsh League (North) because of travelling difficulties and stayed there until 1984 when after two successive championships they joined the North West Counties Football League. This coincided with a move from Eirias Park to the current Llanelian Road base.

 

In 1991 the club was promoted to the Northern Premier League and then won the First Division in 1992. However the Football Association of Wales banned Welsh based teams from playing in English non-league, and the Bay were exiled to Northwich and then Ellesmere Port, before winning a High Court case in 1995 and returning home.

 

After relegation in 2003, and a brief sojourn in the Southern (!) section of the Northern Premier League Division 1, the Seagulls won the play off final in 2010. They beat Lancaster City, who finished 21 points above them, at the Giant Axe with an 88th minute penalty, delayed for a minute whilst the penalty spot was swept clear of standing water. Back to back promotions up to the Conference North were achieved with a 1-0 play off final victory over FC United of Manchester in 2011.

 

The last two seasons have seen consecutive relegations. The first from the Conference North in 2015 on goal difference, with the Bay's form disappearing after the resignation of player/manager Frank Sinclair in January. The second, last year, an abject surrender involving two sacked managers and 58 players. This term has been one of underwhelming non-achievement too with the pre season promotion favourites languishing in mid table mediocrity and another managerial change - Phil Hadland, a teacher at Lymm High School, now at the helm.

Blue skies and warm sunshine greets me as I pass the bizarre bazaar of shops on potholed Washway Road - to name a few : Skullfades Barbershop, Tan n Tonic, Felicity Hat Hire and the truly execrable T & T Pound Zone. Any shop with a printed sign telling us that it sells 'ELCTRICAL, TOILETORIES, STATIONARY' is surely one to avoid.....

 

To the seemingly never ending work on the Smart Motorway, with February's toll 29 vehicles that ran out of fuel. An abundance of kamikaze white van men, and then the M66, the hills blighted by wind turbines before hitting Baxenden, 'The Home of Accrington Pals'. Onto the M65 next to the sign for Shuttlewoof Hall and off at its end into Colne, home of the bottleneck and that queue......

 

Along Vivary Way then up the hill on Harrison Drive brings me to the Holt House complex, 4 football and 2 rugby pitches, a pavilion, Ruck and Roll Cafe (sic), and Colne & Nelson RFC on one side of the car park, Colne FC on the other.

 

Inside the ground at one end is The Nigel Coates Stand, a four step covered concrete terrace named in honour of the Reds' manager from 2003 to 2013. It's also the home of the Red Army, Colne FC's ultras and their flags 'Pride of the North', who provide vociferous support throughout the game - and chant about an improbable rise up to the Football League.

 

In the corner is a refreshment hut, behind which sheep are grazing in the fields, then down the popular side is a small covered area with the rest and the far end being open - both providing lovely views with the backdrop of Colne in the valley beneath the countryside and hills. The far side hosts the main grandstand, clubhouse, The Alma Inn Vice Presidents Lounge and changing rooms.

 

But the most striking feature at Holt House is the pitch which runs away with itself - a steep slope down from the Nigel Coates Stand and another diagonally down from the refreshment bar. Little wonder there are no spectators at the far end trying to watch the match - with all that going on, a dizzying experience !!

And so to a match sponsored by a new born baby (yes really !!), a tattooed linesman and a very rotund Seagulls' assistant manager, Dave Hughes. Colne are in red shirts and black shorts, Colwyn Bay in change yellow and pale blue.

 

Early on a miscue by Seagulls' Luke Denson ricochets off Colne's centre forward Oliver Wood and Bay's keeper Kieran Wolland has to palm the ball over his bar. Shortly after Seagulls' Danny Andrews is allowed to advance and advance without challenge and he then plays in Danny Bartle whose mishit shot is enough to beat Reds' custodian Greg Hartley.

 

Colne's captain, Simon Nangle, launches himself into a truly atrocious two footed lunge that earns him a yellow card but warrants a red - the first in a long line of shocking officiating decisions. He is substituted on the half hour just after Hartley has beaten away a stinging drive from Bartle, played in by Jamie Rainford.

 

A free header by Wood from a long throw in that drifts wide is Colne's best chance, whilst in first half injury time Bartle sets up Rainford and his shot is splendidly tipped past the post by Hartley - but the Seagulls deservedly lead at the break.

 

Within 90 seconds of the restart the Reds are level. Adam Morning makes best use of a little space to arrow in, with his left foot, a 25 yard shot that Wolland gets two hands to but can only divert into the corner of the net. Bay are struggling against the slope(s) and it is now Colne in the ascendancy.

 

Midway through the half Morning picks up the ball on the right wing and with no challenge moves inside beyond three defenders before striking the ball low into the corner to put Colne ahead. Infamous sub Jason Hart (sacked by his previous club Clitheroe for shenanigans in a dugout at Mossley after a match) nearly makes it three but Wolland saves well; Rainford fires wildly wide inside the penalty box just before the death with the Seagulls' best chance of the half.

 

2-1 at the finish for the home side, which sees Colne move into the play offs zone - but the real winner was the slopes J

Hillmen Kick In The Gooleys - Vikings Vanquished

And so to the High Peak, and the Arthur Goldthorpe Stadium on Surrey Street in Glossop for an Evo Stik Northern Premier Division One North fixture between Glossop North End and Goole AFC.

Glossop North End AFC was founded in 1886, joining the North Cheshire League in 1890 before moving to the Combination in 1894 and turning professional. The Hillmen then played in the Midland League for two seasons before being elected to the Second Division of the Football League in 1898.

 

In their inaugural League season GNE finished as runners up to Manchester City and earnt promotion to the First Division. In so doing Glossop became the smallest town to support a Football League club, although this has now been supplanted by Rushden & Diamonds and Fleetwood Town. However Glossop remains the smallest town whose team has played in the English top flight.

 

The club changed name to Glossop AFC to avoid any confusion with Preston North End, but their brief stay in the First Division lasted only the one season. It was followed by 15 seasons in the Second Division as perennial strugglers with the side finishing bottom and failing to gain re-election before the War intervened.

 

Glossop AFC was reformed towards the end of the War by Oswald Partington, spending one season in the Lancashire Combination then joining the Manchester League. The Hillmen won the Manchester League in 1927/28 and moved to their current ground in Surrey Street in 1955 largely due to the beneficence of Club President Arnold Goldthorpe - and 62 years later the stadium is still named in his honour.

 

The club became a founder member of the Cheshire County League for the 1978/79 campaign, and, after promotion to Division 1 in 1981, was a founding member of the North West Counties Football League in 1982. The team almost folded in 1990 after the chairman sold the ground to the local council and left the club with large debts.

 

Two years later the Hillman were promoted to Division One and reinstated the suffix to become Glossop North End once more. Some cup success arrived in the intervening years, but GNE struggled to avoid relegation for several seasons.

 

In the 2008/09 season they reached the final of the FA Vase where they lost 2-0 to Whitley Bay at Wembley Stadium. But better was to come, with the 2014/15 season the most successful in the club's history - winning the North West Counties Premier to gain promotion to the Northern Premier League, and again reaching the FA Vase final at Wembley losing 2-1 to North Shields after extra time.

Goole Town FC was founded in 1912, entering the Midland Football League. The club was resurrected as Goole Shipyards FC after World War One, joining the new Yorkshire Football League and reverting back to Goole Town in 1924. The club was Yorkshire Football League champions three times, the last of which prompted a return to the Midland Football League in 1948.

Town was a founder member of the Northern Premier League in 1968, but the club was disbanded at the end of the 1995/96 season due to financial difficulties.

Goole AFC, 'The Vikings', was formed in 1997 playing at the ageing Victoria Pleasure Grounds. The new club started life in the Central Midlands League before moving sideways to the Northern Counties Eastern League.

As champions in 2005 the Vikings ascended to the Northern Premier League Division One North where they have remained. An application to change name to Goole Town FC was refused by the West Riding FA in 2006, and the club went into administration two years later.

However the Vikings' five minutes of infamy came in January 2014 when, in a home match against Coalville, captain Karl Colley attempted to confront and punch a fan three times in the stand after receiving a red card. He was sacked later that day - the incident occurring 19 years to the day since Eric Cantona's kung fu attack on a Crystal Palace fan at Selhurst Park…..

 

So, in a week when Metrostink chief Peter Cushing (you couldn't make it up !!) calls time on his four year reign at the Tram-mer House of Horror, it's a relatively untroubled journey into Manchester. Then it's Northern Fail, through the bleak Mancunian environs of Ardwick, Ashburys and Gorton and reaching the misnomer of Flowery Field - no flowers, no fields, just overgrown brambles amidst rubbish strewn weeds..... Then (Un)Godley before the landscape changes to reveal glorious countryside views from the viaduct between Broadbottom and Dinting.

Dinting's triangular station is brightened up by ceramic paintings on the platforms - but no substitute for the Dinting Railway Centre which departed (to Keighley of all places) in 1991. Glossop, 'Gateway to the Dark Peak' is the next stop.

A gentle meander through the market town reveals a bizarre bazaar of shops - Headzaklys (barbers), Snobby Dogs (grooming parlour), the Wren's Nest (pub), a proliferation of pound and charity shops, several closed hostelries and a Greggs that has run out of food !! The walk up to the stadium used to be dominated by the eyesore of Glossop - the 250 foot Ferro Alloys chimney formerly spewing out sulphur dioxide (see below – football club just visible to the left) - but it has been torn down and replaced by a building site for affordable housing.

Inside the ground one end, The Chimney End, houses a busy clubhouse and covered terracing signposted 'The Trenches'. In the corner are several ramshackle garages and sheds next to the main seated stand, which is showing its age, and for some unknown reason is known as 'The Prawn Cocktail Stand'.

A walkway and metal railing surrounds the rest of the pitch with the far end, 'The Chicken Shack End', displaying an incongruous 'No Ball Games' sign - the omens are not looking good... The near side has a Press Box, from where Hillmen Radio are broadcasting and further three step covered terracing. Moving round is a serene and pleasant view of Glossop with a panoramic backdrop of the hills, Kinder Scout and the Snake Pass in the distance.

The Hillmen, currently sitting in the play offs zone but with a threadbare squad only able to name three substitutes, are in blue with a white stripe. The Vikings, next to bottom (not much pleasure at the Victoria Pleasure Grounds this season then !!) are in red and black on a pitch that is a combination of sheet mud and a rutted sand pit - hardly conducive to attractive football....

And the first half is one of no/ low quality; Hillmen's captain Mike Norton's header straight at the Vikings' keeper Thomas Beaurepaire early on proving to be a false dawn. Goole have set their stall out to frustrate GNE and the game is scrappy and tetchy - and also mighty frustrating to watch !!

There is a five minute purple patch when the Hillmen string together a few passes and create chances - Max Leonard and Ben Richardson, via a deflection, are both just wide and Lee Rick shoots over. Glossop also have two goals disallowed, with the Vikings only mustering two long range Bobby Johnson efforts in response.

Half time sees several skeins of geese skirt the ground in classic V formation, and the second period has Leonard adopting a shoot on sight policy. He scores a worldy, a 40 yard volley that dips over Beaurepaire and a goal that the game doesn't deserve - and typically it is ruled out for an earlier infringement..... Shortly after, part of the Press Box behind us is demolished by a stray clearance - much more in keeping with the game !!

The Vikings start to grow into the game and their best chance drifts agonisingly wide. With the game destined to finish goalless and ten minutes on the clock, Rick deceives his man and crosses hard and low. Beaurepaire gathers then fumbles and spills the ball, and sub Dale Johnson scores, at the second attempt, in the subsequent melee.

Shortly after the Hillmen make their final two substitutions and, with their first touches, Nicky Platt lofts the ball over the Goole back line and Karl Jones hits home with an emphatic finish to the bottom corner.

Platt is denied a third Hillmen goal in added on time thanks to an instinctive boot from Beaurepaire, partially repairing his reputation.... 2-0 at the death for GNE, and the Vikings' substitute Adam Porritt is sent off after the final whistle for foul and abusive language - silly boy !!!

Tigers Find Their Teeth, Celts Roar Back And No Hydeing Place For Red Card Trio...

And so to Ewen Fields for the game of the day in the Evostik Northern Premier League Division One North - Hyde United, six wins and three draws in their last ten games, against Farsley Celtic, eight wins and a draw in their last ten.

Hyde FC was founded in July 1885 at the town's White Lion pub and, after competing in the Lancashire Combination and losing 26-0 to Preston North End in an FA Cup first round tie in 1887, folded in 1917 due to 'war reaction'.

 

Hyde United was formed in 1919 after demands for a football club to be re-established by two groups, the Forty Gang and the Discharged Soldiers and Sailors. After one season in the Lancashire and Cheshire Federation, the Tigers joined the Manchester League which they won 5 times before moving to the Cheshire League.

 

Twice champions in the 1950s, United became founder members of the Northern Premier League in 1968 but reverted back to the Cheshire League in 1970 because of excessive traveling costs. The club returned to the Northern Premier in 1982 after sweeping the Cheshire League board.

 

The Tigers won the 2005 Northern Premier League title controversially - the title originally awarded to today's visitors, Farsley Celtic, after the expunging of the insolvent Spennymoor United's results. On appeal the decision was overturned and Hyde United were crowned champions, moving to the Conference North. Their first season in the Conference North saw the club finish 20th, and the Tigers were only reprieved from relegation as Kings Lynn were demoted for failing ground grading standards.

 

On 24 September 2009 Hyde United was wound up by HM Revenue & Customs but, after a major fundraising effort over the next few days, an appeal was lodged and on 30 September the original winding up order was reversed.

 

Before the 2010/11 season the club changed its name to Hyde FC, Ewen Fields underwent a complete makeover, with the ground going from red to blue, and the team's colours switched to white shirts and blue shorts - all as part of a 5 year sponsorship deal with Manchester City.

 

In 2012 Hyde were promoted as Conference North champions but after a two season stay, culminating in one league win all season and a miserable 10 points, relegation inevitably beckoned. This was the first of three successive demotions, leaving the club in the Northern Premier Division One North.

 

The team's name reverted back to Hyde United in 2015 after the sponsorship deal with Manchester City ended, and the club was taken over by Hyde United Supporters Club.

Farsley Celtic AFC was founded in 1908 with The Villagers or Celts playing in local leagues up to 1949, when they moved into the Yorkshire League, having acquired their ground at Throstle Nest. The club then became founder members of the Northern Counties East League in 1982.

 

Two promotions in three seasons saw the Celts reach the Northern Premier League in 1987, with promotion to the Conference North arriving in 2006. In their inaugural season the Villagers reached the play offs and, after beating the now defunct Hinckley United 4-3 in a rollercoaster final, rise to the Conference National.

 

Sadly the dream lasted only one season with an immediate return to the Conference North. Worse was to follow as the club was issued with a winding up order, went into administration on 30 June 2009 and was expelled from the league three days later. The decision was reversed a week later, and the Celts started the season on -10 points. The club then folded in March 2010 and their league record was deleted.

 

Farsley FC was formed in June 2010 from the embers of Farsley Celtic AFC and the reformed club was placed in the Northern Counties East League whereupon the club immediately won league and cup double to reach the Northern Premier League Division One North. The Villagers were allowed to add the Celtic suffix to become Farsley Celtic FC (FCFC) in 2015.

And so after a morning undertaking disaster recovery work (insert your own joke) across the way from the Crystal Methodists' pyramid in Stockport and then back in Manchester, a real disaster - and Metrostink can always be relied upon in that department, with this time unconfirmed 'signalling problems' causing major delays.

 

A change of plan, onto Washway Road, past C-lean Eating, Light on the Horizon - offering crystals and candles to solve all those holistic problems - and to the M60. Beyond the pyramid and off at the Denton Rock to join the M67, leaving at junction 3 and into Hyde, past Bake-n Butty and a sign stating 'Don't Blubber Use Firestone Rubber'..... Left at Mottram Road and into a warren of side streets brings me to Ewen Fields.

 

Outside is the Hyde United Social Club, but inside the transformation of the stadium from the Manchester City sponsorship is plain for all to see. Five covered stands - the Main Stand, with the Peter O'Brien Executive Lounge (in honour of the Tigers' all time leading marksman), the Leigh Street Stand, the Tinker's Passage End, the Walker Lane End (the 'baths end') and the Scrattin' Shed (the famous shed end - which is actually a corner!). Plus a brand new Astroturf surface which confuses more than a few seagulls.... On the Leigh Street side there is also the Hyde United Memorial Wall, with plaques commemorating deceased Tigers' devotees.

The Tigers are in traditional red and navy, the Celts in change all yellow with the morning's sunshine having given way to grey cloud - although the neighbouring hills are still visible at both ends. Within two minutes an exquisite back heel from Farsley's Lewis Nightingale sets up Jordan Deacey and he nets comfortably past Tigers' keeper Russ Saunders.

 

The electronic scoreboard refuses to acknowledge the away team's goal for some time, and this is later repeated - but home goals are immediately recorded. Three minutes later a ball over the top plays in James Walshaw, who sidesteps Saunders but is denied a second Celts goal by a tremendous goal line clearance from Harry Coates.

 

The Celts are brimming with confidence and utterly dominant, with some glorious interpassing. Walshaw has another shot saved and you feel it's only a matter of time before they get a second. It doesn't arrive before half time and, indeed, a marauding run from Tigers' left back, James Burke, brings a smart save from Celts' custodian Graeme McKibbin just before the break.

 

Seven minutes into the second period and Farsley's defence, which had looked untroubled, stands and watches as an innocuous free kick is headed across the penalty area for Matthew Beadle to equalise. Three minutes later Tigers' right back, Kyle Harrison, lets fly with a 25 yard half volley that swerves and dips and deceives McKibbin to hit the top corner, and Hyde lead 2-1.

 

On the hour Celtic are awarded a free kick and, in the kerfuffle after, Tigers' Paddy Miller kicks out at Deacey and is shown a straight red card. The ball is delivered into the box and amidst the melee Walshaw's high kick is into Saunders' chest, and Farsley's leading scorer is also given a straight red.

 

Celts' left back Chris Howarth evens matters up on 68 minutes, cutting in from the penalty area and curling the ball gorgeously into the far corner. But the Tigers, backed by magnificent vocal support from the Scrattin' Shed, retake the lead four minutes afterwards - good work from Chris Sutherland on the wing and he lays it on a plate for Janni Lipka to pass the ball into the net.

 

3-2 to the Tigers and it stays this way until 6 minutes to go. Then Celts' irascible midfielder Ross Daly shoots from distance and the ball is deemed to have hit Blake's hand. The result is a second yellow for United's left back and a penalty which Richard Marshall converts beyond a shellshocked Saunders.

 

Three minutes later fabulous trickery from Nightingale as he squares the ball for Aiden Savory to tuck home; 4-3 to the Celts and the Farsley bench erupts ! In the final minute Sutherland is pulled down on the edge of the box and Tigers' Lawrance Hunter scores with a quite magnificent free kick into the top corner. 4-4 as the Hyde bench erupts – plus one very overworked scoreboard operator !!

 

Five minutes of added time, the first of which sees the Celts win a corner. Nightingale's delivery causes confusion and, with Hyde lacking bodies in the box, the ball reaches Adam Clayton for a tap in at the far post - 5-4 to Farsley and another eruption from their dugout. One last desperate throw of the dice sees Sutherland fire wide for the Tigers right at the death. Quite, quite breathtaking !!!