Camels Take The Hump Then Get The Abbey Habit To Become Lairds of The Manor

And so to Kirklands aka the North West Construction Stadium, and a first ever meeting between Cammell Laird 1907 FC and Abbey Hulton United FC today in the North West Counties Division One.

The Camels' history dates back to 1899 when a team from the Upper Boilers shop at Laird Bros played in Birkenhead Park, before switching to rugby. Cammell Laird Institute AFC was established in 1907, playing in the West Cheshire League at Prenton Park, Tranmere.

After World War I the Cammell Laird company faced cutbacks due to reduced government spending on ships and the football team was taken back in house. In 1922 a team was entered into the Birkenhead & Wirral League under the name of Kirklands FC coinciding with the move to the current ground from their two previous homes - Birkenhead Park and Bebington Oval.

The side was disbanded at the outbreak of World War II and reformed in 1946 as Cammell Laird AFC. The Lairds rejoined the Birkenhead & Wirral League before moving up to the West Cheshire League, where they were 19 time champions, including 15 titles in 20 seasons between 1975 and 1994.

The Shipyarders joined the North West Counties in 2004 and back to back promotions took them to the Northern Premier League Division One North. A sideways move to Division One South a season later brought promotion to the Premier Division as runners up, but the Camels were relegated at the end of their first campaign after failing ground grading criteria.

The club disbanded at the end of the 2013/14 season, and a new club, Cammell Laird 1907 FC, went into the North West Counties Division One, earning automatic promotion at the first attempt. However last term produced only three league wins, all after relegation was confirmed, and a bottom placing with a goal difference of -100......

Abbey Hulton United FC was formed in 1947, and named after the Scheduled Monument of Hulton Abbey, founded by Henry de Audley in the early 13th century. It was dissolved by Henry VIII in 1538 and little remains of it today. Hulton was recorded as 'Heltone' in the Domesday Book, meaning 'hill town'.

Abbey played on council land before moving to Bucknall Park in 1962. There they stayed until 1985, before acquiring a piece of land at Birches Head Road. Originally United played in local leagues - the Longton, Fenton & District, Burslem & Tunstall and Newcastle & District Leagues.

Having moved to the new facility at Birches Head, the club opted to join the Staffs County League (North) and were crowned champions at the end of the 1997/98 season. Abbey then moved up to the Staffordshire County Senior League, becoming Premier League champions last season.

An application to join the North West Counties League was successful and the club was elected, having met ground grading criteria. After a bright start to the season, the floodlight failure at St Helens excepted, United's form has been inconsistent and they currently lie a point and a place below the Lairds. 

So past the new Laurus Homes Stonebrook housing development and then a vintage double decker Belle Vue bus parked outside St Margaret's Church, on a day for a wet, wet wedding, it's down to the M56. An Arla truck - 'My other lorry is a tractor' - fumes belching out at Stanlow and not surprisingly the wind turbines going like the clappers.

The weather has deteriorated appreciably as I join the M53, ignoring Cheshire Oaks and Vauxhall - the car plant on one side, Vauxhall Motors FC on the other - it's off into Higher Bebington. Beyond the curiously named 'Woman More Than Nails' and into Rock Ferry, and then Kirklands.

A fiver in, or £2 for Liverpool, Everton or Tranmere Rovers season ticket holders, as Storm Brian wreaks havoc with sheeting rain and high winds. To my right is the Kirklands Kitchen Stand, a covered all seated stand next to which is the food and drink serving hatch and the Macron club shop. Behind this are the Lairds Social Club and St Peters Church.

At the top is the Volleyball Net End (yes really !!) with modern housing beyond, and across the way is the Stagecoach Merseyside Family Stand, with covered standing and seated areas and the bus depot right behind. On the left is an open end with old council maisonette housing.

The Camels are in all blue, United in change grey with fluorescent green trim. Huddled in the two covered stands because of the dreadful conditions the crowd of 65, which seems suspiciously low particularly with at least 25 from Abbey Hulton (including their drummer boy !), are treated to an entertaining first half.

The Camels have at least five golden opportunities, all spurned. Jamie Colebourne takes advantage of a kamikaze back pass but Luke Birkinshaw does just enough to divert his shot onto the outside of the post, and Colebourne blazes wide later. Ben Holmes is denied by a brave block from Sam Luke and also hits the side netting. Charlie Macinnes ineptly spoons wide.

In response United see John Lynch, the Lairds keeper, save well from Kieron Ball, prompting a strange appeal of 'handball' from the Abbey contingent, and then he tips over Keiron Williams' free kick.

Finally five minutes before the break Josh Maldon breaks the deadlock - the Camels' free kick going through the eye of a needle beyond Birkinshaw although Kevyn Davies may have got a touch for an unwanted own goal.

The second half is a different type of affair with the elements, a constant torrent and biting wind, against the Lairds, who resort to time wasting, back pedalling and a suspicious amount of balls into the churchyard. Abbey dominate as the portly Joshua Graham heads over and then captain Joshua Tune is played in, sidesteps Lynch and shoots into an empty goal - only for the ball to hit a puddle and be hacked clear.

The referee signals 7 minutes of added on time, the first of which produces a rasping shot from substitute Jonathan Birks to level for United - and provide a truer reflection of the overall game. The Camels, who have created nothing in the second half, respond and in the sixth additional minute win a free kick. From it Adam Rooney plants a header beyond Birkinshaw and the Lairds lead again - cue a manic dance, twice, down the flooded touchline by one home fan, rumoured to be Rooney's father...... And that goal at the death gives the Lairds the three points.

Sky Blues Thinking Out of Tune Who Gets The Abbey Habit

And so to the Potteries and a visit to Birches Head Road, home of Abbey Hulton United FC. The newly promoted side host Carlisle City today in the North West Counties Division One.

Abbey Hulton United FC was formed in 1947, and named after the Scheduled Monument of Hulton Abbey, founded by Henry de Audley in the early 13th century. It was dissolved by Henry VIII in 1538 and little remains of it today. Hulton was recorded as 'Heltone' in the Domesday Book, meaning 'hill town'.

 

Abbey played on council land before moving to Bucknall Park in 1962. There they stayed until 1985, before acquiring a piece of land at Birches Head Road. Originally United played in local leagues - the Longton, Fenton & District, Burslem & Tunstall and Newcastle & District Leagues.

 

Having moved to the new facility at Birches Head, the club opted to join the Staffs County League (North) and were crowned champions at the end of the 1997/98 season. Abbey then moved up to the Staffordshire County Senior League, becoming Premier League champions last season.

 

An application to join the North West Counties League was successful and the club was elected, having met ground grading criteria. United have had a decent start to the season, with three wins and three draws from seven games, six of which have been away. The St Helens game, where, with the game goalless going into injury time, Abbey were awarded a penalty and the floodlights went out, was confirmed this week as a 0-0 draw.

Carlisle City FC was formed in 1975 by two former Carlisle United players, George Walker and Ron Thompson, 'to give local lads somewhere to play'. The Sky Blues joined the Northern Alliance and were runners up three times before finishing bottom of the league in 1987, and dropping into the Northern Combination. At the end of the following season, the Northern Combination merged with the Northern Alliance and City became founder members of the new Division One.

 

As champions in 1992, the club was promoted to the Premier Division where they were runners up on five occasions. Having finished third in the 2015/16 season their application to join the North West Counties Football League was granted.

 

This was not least because they had taken over the lease at Gillford Park in the city in 2015 from Celtic Nation FC. (Yes that Celtic Nation - millionaire throws money at the club to buy promotion, club finish second, millionaire withdraws support, club goes bust: all in two years). City's first season was one of consolidation, finishing 14th in the expanded 22 club league and they sit just below Abbey in the current league table.

And so it's on to Manchester Road, past Totty Towers, the closed Wheatsheaf, the for sale Orange Tree and last night's watering hole, The Old Market Tavern and its menu - 'Food severed 12 noon to 4pm'....

Down to the M6 and more Smart Motorway, a stretch of road blighted daily by long delays due to broken down vehicles in the roadworks. Today is no exception but fortunately it's on the opposite carriageway. Disappointingly the PIES graffiti on the motorway bridge has been painted over and 'replaced' by SICADIE.

Off at junction 16 and onto the A500 then the A53 Leek Road, passing M & M Cane Centre, into Sneyd Green, by the Horn and Trumpet, Baddeley Green, then Milton and the glorious floral display at Carmountside Cemetery & Crematorium. Just before the Hulton Abbey remains, it's right into Birches Head Road, ignoring the sign for Funky Fillerz (?) and, just beyond the Trent Country Club, the ground is next to the River Trent Path.

A small car park on a narrow road isn't ideal, and indeed causes carnage at the final whistle for a crowd of 131. A fiver at the hut and a two sided ground this week. The top end is out of bounds with farmland, horseboxes and whinnying horses in the field. The closed off near side has a steep embankment at the top of which is a muddied grass area, trees and the River Trent behind.

The path that takes me behind the goal is where all the activity is - the changing rooms and a shipping container converted into a bar. Tables outside form an impromptu beer garden, whilst there's also a cafe and concrete 5 a side pitch. The tree lined far side holds the required 50 seater covered stand, with the side road next to it a popular cut through for scrambler bikes this afternoon.

Pleasant enough surroundings as we kick off - Abbey in orange and black, and City, inexplicably, in their change 'House of Vodka' sponsored navy strip. The Sky Blues have much the better of the first period; within moments Aaron Bradbury is one on one with Abbey keeper Luke Birkinshaw, with the latter spreading himself well to save.

 

Bobby McCartney, City's number 9, strikes a vicious angled drive that hits the inside of the far post and all Abbey can muster is a near own goal as the ball is inadvertently flicked over the bar. Birkinshaw saves well from Bradbury again just before the break, but the half is marred by some ineffectual officiating from the vertically challenged referee, who seems reluctant to use his cards.

 

United are much improved in the second half with their rotund number 9, Josh Graham (one of 5 Joshes in the Abbey team), wearing one yellow boot and one pink, producing a fine tip over from City's Michael Ballantyne. The Sky Blues go straight down the other end and McCartney is tripped in the box. The equally portly Kyle Armstrong converts the penalty and Carlisle lead.

 

Five minutes later Abbey captain, Josh Tune, nips inside the full back and scores with a quite sumptuous volley into the top corner for the equaliser. Less than tuneful chants of 'Abbey, Abbey' as the drum kit (where did that come from ?) gets its first meaningful action of the day.

 

McCartney muscles through but Birkinshaw again stands tall to block. The rebound falls kindly for McCartney and he rolls the ball across the six yard box into the path of Armstrong who misses the open goal horrendously. Armstrong is substituted, ignominiously, shortly thereafter.

 

Graham produces another classy save out of Ballantyne from a header but the game peters out - apart from a simmering undercurrent that threatens to boil over. The first yellow card is finally shown in the 86th minute, and a second in injury time following an ugly and unnecessary melee, with the match finishing honours even. Then it's the car park chaos......