Red Alert - Hurricanes Warning !!!!

And so to Hurricanes territory in the leafy environs of Holmes Chapel - Holmes Chapel Hurricanes FC hosting Malpas FC today in the Cheshire League Division One, in a rearranged fixture that Malpas FC failed to fulfil earlier this season.

Holmes Chapel Hurricanes FC was founded in 2000 by Chris Rogers as a vehicle to enable his son and friends to play football. Initially playing local league football, and based at Holmes Chapel Leisure Centre, The Hurricanes moved up to the Cheshire League in 2018, finishing next to bottom of League 2 in their first term. 

After the Covid aborted 2019/20 season, last year's curtailed campaign saw Chapel place 4th of 11 which was sufficient to secure promotion to Division One - where they sit 6th of 15 with 42 points from 27 games; this their final game of the 2021/22 season.

Malpas FC, from the Oxhays - the town twinned with Questembert, lesser known brother of Camembert - was established in 1901 and, after playing locally in the Crewe Sunday League, joined the Chester League, moving to Saturday football. After winning consecutive Premier Division championships in 1983 and 1984 Malpas moved up to the Mid Cheshire League (now Cheshire League) in 1985. Relegated to Division Two in 1991, the club was promoted back two seasons later.

Demoted again in 1997 Malpas moved up to the Cheshire Premier in 2015, and finished runners up - a campaign that ended with a thrilling 4-4 draw at champions Knutsford FC. They again finished runners up in 2018 but were relegated the following season, and lie 12th, and safe, with 25 points from 26 games this time, defeated 6-2 at Parklands on Thursday, and finishing their season at Styal on Tuesday.

So amidst blue skies and a gorgeous sun drenched spring afternoon it's beyond Em's Bench, Nerd (a board game outlet), which opened at 12 noon today, the derelict Wheatsheaf, a striking bluey purple Californian Lily and then Full Circle Partners (Funerals Your Way). That leads to the M6, where the graffiti has largely been expunged, and a one junction stomp, bypassing the trailers advertising Blue Lagoon Spas, Are You Pregnant ? and Orange County CBD. Today's car numberplates are 5UC, EA63ERLY and HE1 8ABE.

Then onto Chester Road, Cotton Farm and signs advertising Knutsford Races tomorrow before I turn into Selkirk Drive and Holmes Chapel Comprehensive School - the Leisure Centre alongside. The 3G pitch is at the back of the sports centre, with the other 3 sides tree lined. There are four shaded metal benches and a concrete walkway on the one accessible side and a shed outside the mesh.

Chapel are in red and black, sponsored by Manifest Fitness and the George & Dragon, Malpas in change blue with red trim - their sponsor Highgate Garage. Due to an overrunning children's pirates session the game eventually starts at five past two, in front of a 'crowd' of 5 - which steadily increases to 8 and a huddle in the corner, the nearest point to the bar !!

The Reds start the better with Sam Hatcher forcing a decent save before Malpas create a golden opportunity, one on one, but chipped wastefully over the bar. Oli Hewitt hits the post for the Hurricanes when he should have scored when played through, but it's a frustrating half that ends scoreless with Chapel on top but profligate and tame with their shooting.

Matters take a turn for the worse four minutes into the second period - Chapel's keeper lacking control from a back pass, the ball pinched by a Malpas forward who is then cynically brought down. Yellow card, penalty and 1-0 to the visitors - but this is their only shot on target during the entire match....

Gradually the Hurricanes gather a second wind, and on 62 minutes Matt Haynes' long throw falls at the feet of Hewitt and he stabs home the equaliser from close range. Ten minutes later Charlie Rodick produces a sumptuous finish from the corner of the penalty box following a one two and Chapel lead, after which they hit the woodwork twice and Hatcher misses, awfully, a sitter.

No matter as five minutes on he redeems himself, dummying the keeper, to score an open goal and it's 3-1. Then on 82 minutes a poor defensive clearance ( a mal pass ??) falls to Ben Law and his 25 yarder into the roof of the net is the goal of the game.

Four minutes from time Hurricanes go 5-1 up, the ball recycled and cut back to Hatcher who beats the keeper and a defender on the line. To add insult to injury Malpas are reduced to ten men just before the death - a second yellow for dissent - as Chapel finish the season on a high.

Quakers Fail To Get Their Oats - Green Army Nullified....Again !!!!

And so to the end of April and the dying embers of the 2021/22 season; today sees a visit to the Horsfall Community Stadium in Bradford and a National League North clash between Bradford (Park Avenue) and Darlington.

Bradford FC was originally established in 1863, its Park Avenue name deriving from the club's former home and to differentiate it from Bradford City Football Club.

Formed as a rugby football team, and known locally as simply Bradford, the club moved from the Rugby Football Union to become a founder member of the Northern Rugby Football Union in 1895. This followed an RFU dispute over broken time payments. 

1907 saw 'The Great Betrayal' as a narrow majority of members voted to abandon rugby (league) and concentrate on association football at Park Avenue. The minority set up a new rugby club, Bradford Northern (now Bradford Bulls).

Bradford FC had been playing football since 1895, in the West Yorkshire League and then the Yorkshire League, but were banished to Birch Lane and closed down in 1899 due to mounting losses.

The success of cross town neighbours Manningham, who switched to football and renamed as Bradford City, prompted the Northern Union Club to apply to join the Football League in 1907. They were not accepted and joined The Southern League (!), where their nearest opponents were Northampton Town, 130 miles away.

But the following season Bradford were elected to the Second Division of the Football League, and promoted to the First Division in 1914. Post war the club steadily declined, relegated to the Second Division in 1921 and Third Division North the year after. Promoted as champions in 1928, then demoted in 1950, Park Avenue were placed in Division Four in 1958.

Despite two campaigns in the Third Division in the early 1960s BPA suffered difficult times and were voted out of the league in 1970, replaced by Cambridge United. The Green Army joined the Northern Premier League, selling Park Avenue in 1973, groundsharing at Valley Parade and subsequently going into liquidation on 3 May 1974.

The club was immediately reformed as a Sunday League side, competing in the Bradford Amateur Sunday League, then promoted to the Bradford Sunday Alliance League - and somehow still playing at an abandoned Park Avenue... The club was forced to move when a new indoor cricket school was set up at Park Avenue, and that saw a move back to Saturday football.

BPA joined the West Riding County Amateur Football League in 1988, then transferred to the Central Midlands League the year after and then the North West Counties Football League in 1990 - playing at rugby league grounds McLaren Field (Bramley) and Mount Pleasant (Batley). The Green Army were champions in 1995, rejoining the Northern Premier League and moving to the Horsfall Stadium.

Park Avenue was a founder member of the Conference North in the 2004/05 season, then suffered consecutive relegations before returning to the Northern Premier League in 2008 as champions. They stepped back up to the Conference North in 2012, beating FC United of Manchester 1-0 in the play off final. There they have remained, albeit with a lucky Covid escape in 2020 when bottom place, 20 points from 33 matches, would surely have seen relegation before null and voidance. Bradford are safe this time - 16th with 43 points and 3 games left including today.

Darlington 1883 is the phoenix club of Darlington FC, and was founded in 2012 as a fan and community owned club - the FA allowing it to revert back to its original name of Darlington FC in 2017. The original Darlington FC was established in July 1883, playing in regional leagues before becoming a founder member of the Northern League in 1889. 

The original Quakers were admitted to the Football League when the Third Division North was formed in 1921. Their best placed finish was 15th in the Second Division in 1926.

Relegation to the Conference in 1989 was quickly reversed, promoted as champions the season after. But after three times going into administration - in 2004, 2009 and 2011 (when they won the FA Trophy 1-0 against Mansfield Town with a 120th minute goal in a truly appalling game) - the club ceased to exist on June 21 2012 and was expelled from the Conference, where they had been relegated to two years before. 

The financial problems partly stemmed from the 27,000 all seater white elephant Darlington Arena built under the stewardship of convicted safecracker George Reynolds. This in stark contrast to their former 120 year home at Feethams and its Tin Shed end !!

Darlington 1883 joined the Northern League for the 2012/13 season and won it at the first attempt. After losing in the 2014 play offs, promotion to the Evo-Stik Northern Premier League Premier Division was secured, again via the play offs, and the Quakers were promoted as champions to the Conference North at the first attempt. Darlo moved back to playing in the town at Blackwell Meadows that season, after ground sharing with Bishop Auckland at Heritage Park - but were prevented from competing in the play offs as the stadium did not meet ground grading criteria.

This time with three straight losses seemingly having kyboshed any play off hopes, Darlington are 13th on 51 points.

The club's badge depicts Locomotion No 1, a nod to the town's railway history, and a Quaker hat, synonymous with the religious movement in the town.

Past Radium House, home to the Stubborn Mule Brewery, and a virtual carbon copy travel performance of Easter Monday. Mama's Cuisine, The Arches & Quay House Business Estate, hosting Premium Mutts Dog Food takes me to Navigation Road, 5 football grounds (7 including Broadheath Central and their reserves !) and bypassing Biffa Waste and beyond Stockport Shunters Cabin brings me to Manchester Piccadilly. Today's car registration plates en route are JO08Y LU, 45 LP and H4NAH.

Outside is the Victory Over Blindness monument and I eschew What A Potato and Scappaticci to reach the Corn Exchange, dating back to 1837 and rebuilt in 1903. Alongside is Chethams, formerly a manor house in 1453 then a hospital and the original site of Manchester Grammar School. Then Victoria and its signs for Ireland, Scotland and today's destination, Bradford, amongst others.

A packed train, due to Transpennine strike action and Manchester City playing at Elland Road, Leeds later, leaves in glorious weather down the Calder Valley line - not helped by a malfunctioning toilet... Past Vitriol Works, before Mills Hill, then through Walsden to Todmorden with its Platform One Gallery of local artworks.

Bridgeholme Cricket Club is just before Hebden Bridge, then it's Mytholmroyd and 'The Coming and Return of The Iron Man'. Welcome to the South Pennines at Sowerby Bridge and the Southowram TV transmitter at Halifax brings me into Bradford.

Outside is the award winning Jacob's craft ale bar, 'Top of The Hops', before I move onto the steep uphill Manchester Road and Lahorigate, Van Monster, Icee Babyy, Chaat Wala (King of Chaat0 and two very overworked ponies and carts. That brings me to the iconic Odsal stadium with its famous curve, Q Gardens alongside but the Northern pub further on is derelict.

Up Halifax Road and then through a ginnel by White Rose Campers leads me to Horsfall Playing Fields, hosting a cricket match. The Horsfall Stadium is next door and I pay my £14 to join a crowd of 660, bolstered by a healthy away contingent, including former Darlo legend Nathan Cartman.

The Horsfall Stadium was originally built as a running track in 1931 and was upgraded, complete with synthetic pitch, in 1994 when The Green Army moved in. It was upgraded in 2007 and has a capacity of 3,500 - the 1,800 seats coming from Lord's Cricket Ground.

Inside I'm met by the ubiquitous shipping containers, trees on the other three sides and then a pavilion, with changing rooms underneath. At the far end, the main entrance on Cemetery Road, is a minimalist covered terrace, training and hospitality rooms, old programmes shop, office, clubhouse and beer garden. The main all seater stand is to my right and the near end has, below the banking side, a mini strip of astro turf where kids are playing a form of match; the entire pitch is encircled by a six lane running track.

 

The Green Army are in predominantly white with pale green sleeves and socks, whilst Darlington are in change yellow and blue - the visitors starting the better with Jake Cassidy going close early on. But BPA create the best chance of the half, Harrison Hopper's through ball springing the offside trap and leaving Lewis Knight one on one - but away shotstopper Tommy Taylor stands tall and blocks Knight's effort.

Nicky Clee and Knight, again, have shots saved whilst at the other end Cassidy has another shot blocked and a flick saved by home custodian George Sykes-Kenworthy, who is later booked for hauling down Cameron Thompson outside the box.

0-0 at the break but the second period begins enterprisingly enough with the Quakers' Jarrett Rivers clearly tripped, but no penalty given, and then Kevin Dos Santos weaving through and firing against the inside of the post. Ben Hedley sends a 25 yarder just over but it's not all Darlo; a counterattack with Dylan Mottley-Henry on the wing sees his cross produce a Sam Fielding strike, instinctively saved by Taylor.

Brad Dockerty puts a point blank header over, and The Green Army have their own penalty shout and a goalmouth scramble cleared. But they are grateful for an excellent Sykes-Kenworthy save in injury time to confirm a fourth consecutive home 0-0 draw.

Vulcan Bombers At The Death After Hurricanes Force !!

And so what should have been the leafy Cheshire environs of Holmes Chapel doesn't happen - the original fixture postponed at the last minute and the rearranged game moved to Middlewich Town FC. Tonight's match is a Cheshire League Division One clash, 'The Bomber Derby', between Holmes Chapel Hurricanes and Vulcan.

Holmes Chapel Hurricanes FC was founded in 2000 by Chris Rogers as a vehicle to enable his son and friends to play football. Initially playing local league football, and based at Holmes Chapel Leisure Centre, The Hurricanes moved up to the Cheshire League in 2018, finishing next to bottom of League 2 in their first term. 

After the Covid aborted 2019/20 season, last year's curtailed campaign saw Chapel place 4th of 11 which was sufficient to secure promotion to Division One - where they sit 5th of 15 with 39 points from 22 games.

The modern day Vulcan FC was established in 1955 in Newton-le-Willows as a works team by its employer, Vulcan Foundry, a locomotive builder, and its workers - but historically its roots can be traced back to 1923/24. Vulcan Institute had two ignominious seasons in the Lancashire Combination, finishing next to bottom on both occasions in 1963 and 1964, before disappearing. 

Vulcan Newton joined the Lancashire Combination in 1979 and became a founder member of the North West Counties Football League in 1982 - but it only lasted 2 years. A merger saw the club change name to Vulcan Clock Face before settling on Vulcan FC - all incarnations spending the vast majority of their time plying their trade in the Warrington & District League.

The current Vulcan FC, who were deposed as league leaders of Division 1 on Saturday by Whalley Range, stepped up from the Warrington & District League to the Cheshire League Division Two in 2017. Promoted as runners up in their first campaign Vulcan have 53 points from 23 matches this time - second place but Winnington Avenue 94 and Blacon Youth have sufficient games in hand to overhaul them. As for the club badge.....

So with unexpected rain falling, it's beyond Dunham Forest Golf & Country Club and bypassing Dunham Massey, scene of Bruno Fernandes' car crash today. Onto the A556, The Windmill at Pickmere, Tabley House, Dove Barn Weddings, The Smoker at Plumley, the Weaver's Whistle and Birches Remembrance Park & Crematorium before I hit the roadworks at the Roberts Bakery roundabout in Rudheath. Car registrations tonight are 247 DR (pandemic related ?), T111 DUN and SIIILYS.

Left onto the A530 and past Croft Lodge Kennels brings me to the outskirts of Middlewich and Finney's Lane, home of Middlewich Town FC. The ground is now surrounded by a new housing estate, a massive crane in the background at the far end and trees and a church opposite the main side.

Inside is a mini astroturf pitch, clubhouse with beer garden and the covered stand with two rows of plastic seats - entry via stairs and then latched doors ! A railed walkway encircles the pitch and there is a small covered shelter agin the away dugout; there is also a separate entrance to the ground at the town end. The crowd tops out at a dozen, give or take the odd dogwalker....

Holmes Chapel are in red and black, Vulcan in change grey and orange as the match kicks off at 6.30pm. The Hurricanes have much the better of the opening stages, Charlie Rodick with a one on one and then a loose back pass creating another clear opportunity - on both occasions Vulcan's keeper stands tall and saves well.

However Chapel take the lead on 27 minutes when Ally Harrison's cross is headed home by Tom Fagan-Hall, with the away custodian nowhere. That lead is doubled on 42, with Harrison's shot from outside the area dived over by the keeper. Vulcan do start to create chances before the break but half time sees the Hurricanes lead 2-0.

The second period is characterised by Holmes Chapel's organisation and graft, which restricts Vulcan to one clear chance - expertly saved by Jason Currie - and long range efforts that come to naught.

A vivid sunset heralds an astonishing last five minutes plus stoppages. The Hurricanes are reduced to ten men on 85 minutes due to a sinbinning for dissent; the Vulcan corner after is headed onto the underside of the bar and scrapes in to make it 2-1.

Two minutes later and shambolic Vulcan defending results in their keeper's third mistake, pulling down a home attacker for a penalty. Statuesque from the spot kick and Sam Hatcher makes it 3-1.

Then a minute into injury time Vulcan win a contentious free kick which is bombed in and falls into the corridor of uncertainty and is touched in. Two minutes on a Hail Mary bomb finds a Vulcan head, over the stranded Currie, and it's 3-3 !

That's how it ends - an unbelievable last five minutes providing a sinbinning, a penalty and four goals ☺. Vulcan go back top by a point but have played two games more than Whalley Range....

Ammers Nail Off Track Railwaymen......

And so to Easter Monday and the Southerns Stadium at Bracken Edge on Roxholme Road in Potternewton, on the northern outskirts of Leeds. Today's Northern Premier League Division One East game features Yorkshire Amateur AFC, their last home fixture of the season, and Shildon AFC.

Yorkshire Amateur AFC was established by Kolin Robertson in November 1918, becoming a founder member of the Yorkshire League in 1920. They originally played at Elland Road, which had become available after Leeds City folded - however they sold the lease to Leeds United in 1920 for £250, and eventually relocated to Bracken Edge in Potternewton a century ago in 1922.

The Ammers left the Yorkshire League after four seasons but rejoined in 1930. There they remained, fluctuating between various divisions, before the league merged with the Midland League to form the Northern Counties East League in 1982.

The club was promoted to Division One East of the Northern Premier League in 2021 on a points per game Covid pandemic formula.

The visitors, Shildon AFC from Dean Street, are known as the Railwaymen after the wagon works which was a major employer in the town for many years - their other nickname is The Shells.

The club was established in 1890 as Shildon Town, joining the Auckland & District League in 1892. By 1900 the Railwaymen were in Northern League Division 2, but folded due to financial problems.

The Shells reformed as Shildon Athletic in 1903, taking the place of Stockton St Johns, who resigned, in the Northern League. The team moved to the North Eastern League in 1907 and changed its name to Shildon AFC in 1923.

The Railwaymen rejoined the Northern League in 1933, finishing as runners up before securing four consecutive championships. Thereafter three relegations (1985, 1992 and 1999) were countered by three promotions (1987, 1993 and 2002 - latterly as division winners).

Shildon were FA Vase semi finalists in 2012/13, losing 4-3 on aggregate to Tunbridge Wells. Two years later the club finished Northern League runners up, by a point, to Marske United, before winning the championship in 2016.

The Railwaymen were also promoted last summer on the same basis as the home side.

An early start sees a walk down to Navigation Road, past Girl Boss, and a train to Manchester Piccadilly - five football grounds en route plus Human Appeal, the hat museum chimney and the flowerboxes at a rechristened Heaton Chapel & Heaton Moor station.

Then a walk across town to Victoria, bypassing Clampdown Records and Gobstopper Candy. I reach Hanging Ditch, the National Football Museum and Chethams School of Music and Victoria station still advertising far flung destinations including Goole and Belgium.

Then the Leeds stopper, past Malta and Arrow Mills, into the Calder Valley under a bruised sky with intermittent sunshine. First is Todmorden, 'our incredible town' with Kindness signs in the hills, then Hebden Bridge with a plethora of dedication boards.

That leads me to Mytholmroyd and its Iron Man information signs, and onto Sowerby Bridge, gateway to the Ryburn Valley - Manchester 29 miles, Leeds 22 - and home to the Jubilee Refreshment Rooms. Halifax sees Shaw Lodge chimney, Hargreaves Foundry, Quality Street since 1936 and the Halifax Flour Society 1879 building.

Disappointingly the Mill Lane Social Club just outside Bradford is shuttered, the car on its roof seemingly repossessed. Fittingly, as we approach Leeds, there is Strachan - The Art of Fine Furniture.

Then to Leeds city centre, Friends of Ham, 'The Swine That Dines', Piranha Hair Design, the blue plaque denoting the home of Smithfield Ironworks, Bagel Nash, Delico Fine Foods, Virtuoso Legal and the Northern School of Contemporary Dance. That leads me to Chapeltown and the Mandela Community Centre, the Dutch Pot West Indian takeaway, Petals & Stitches and Barakah Bros before I hit Potternewton. Numberplates today are CA51BAD, NN18 PEN and 1055 DD.

A walk across Potternewton Park and its run down mansion takes me to Roxholme Avenue, then Roxholme Road, and, ultimately, Bracken Edge. £8 on the gate and a crowd of 102 today - with about 20 enthusiastically supporting the Railwaymen.

The near side hosts a Bar Area, changing rooms and the all seater stand in the corner. Elsewhere it's a walkway on the other three sides, a partial one step terrace opposite and a mini astroturf pitch behind - three sides surrounded by residential housing, the other by trees (and bracken ?). At the top end Ammers advise us that 'Every Person Is Born With A Seed Of Greatness'.

Ammers are in white and blue, currently sitting 12th and their season fading, starting with no number 8 (12 instead), Shildon in change navy and red, who have qualified for the play offs in fifth place. The away side have much the better of the opening exchanges with their centre forward, Dean Thexton, somehow seeing his shot blocked after an Ammers' defensive horror story. He has a goal disallowed and is narrowly wide with two further chances.

But it's not all one way - the home team's Adam Priestley fires off two thunderbolts, parried away, and then sub Amir Berchil shimmies down the touchline and cuts back for Roy Fogarty to sidefoot into the far corner on 27 minutes. The Shells' sub, Billy Greulich-Smith, shoots straight at home custodian Max Culverwell when he should have done better, and we reach the break at 1-0. There is no tannoy or any announcements throughout the entire proceedings.....

The second period begins quietly with Thexton's scissor kick the closest to an equaliser. Then on 62 minutes Priestley beats Railwaymen keeper Shaun Newbrook to a through ball, cuts back inside past the centre half and exquisitely chips home to make it 2-0.

Thereafter Ammers try to put Shildon back in the game - heading against their own bar and then over Culverwell, with the ball being hooked clear on the line. Culverwell makes a wonderful save from Thexton on 90 minutes but the striker finally heads home in injury time for a consolation as it finishes 2-1 to Yorkshire Amateur.

Eagles Soar - But Reduced to Gulls....Yellows Peril At The Death !

And so to Great Sankey and Thornton Lane for a Cheshire League Premier Division fixture between Eagle Sports and Egerton.

Founded in 1928, Eagle Sports began life as a works team for Electro Hydraulics. After a company merger Sports relocated from Warrington to Great Sankey before competing in the Warrington & District League (W&DL) and in 1941 moved to Thornton Road soon after.

After a successful and lengthy stint in the W&DL, The Gulls moved up to the Mid Cheshire League in 2004, renaming as Penketh & Sankey Eagle and crowned as Division 2 champions in their first season. Relegated the year after, the club reverted to the Eagle Sports FC name and were promoted back to the now Cheshire League Division 1 in 2009.

Sports have won the JB Parker Cup twice, the Warrington Guardian Cup, the Cheshire League Memorial Cup and the Liverpool Cup. Promoted as runners up in 2014 Sports remain there, finishing third in 2015 and 2019, and currently sitting 7th this season.

Egerton FC was formed in 2002 and was named after its founder, Maurice Egerton. After playing in local leagues, the Yellows moved up to the Cheshire League and in May 2016 chairman Tom O'Donnell announced plans to redevelop the site in Mereheath Lane, just outside Knutsford, in order to be eligible for promotion to the North West Counties Football League.

In the 2017/18 campaign, Egerton received national media attention after the signings of former professionals Nathan Ellington, Dean Gorre and the (tragically) late JLloyd Samuel. In the same season, Egerton finished fourth in the Cheshire League Division One, earning promotion to the Premier Division in the process. Egerton entered the FA Vase in 2019/20 but the club was later withdrawn after failing a ground grading inspection.

That same season the Yellows put forward their nomination to move up to the NWCFL, but the season's curtailment proved a blessing - 7 points from 18 games would surely have meant exiting the division in the opposite direction !! But this time third place may yet mean promotion... and indeed rumours on the terraces of Whalley Range suggest this is a done deal...

Due to emergency bridge repairs on Thelwall Viaduct an alternative route is needed at the last minute - so past Venom IT, Garveys (still advertising St Patrick's Day !) and Dogs and Divas, it's onto the M60 and beyond Chill Factore and off after Barton Bridge at junction 11, joining the A57. Then the Barley Farm pub, with hordes of Sale Sharks fans descending on the AJ Bell, City Airport and Makro brings me to Irlam and Cadishead.

The weather takes a turn for the worse with heavy, almost torrential rain. Eventually I reach Rixton where there is Anterior - open by appointment only apparently. Thereafter Juniper Farm and Woolston with signs for Paddington House Hotel and the strangely named florist - La Beau Fleurs. Numberplates en route DG11TAL, a second appearance from T22URDS (for those unfortunate blockages !) are matched by NU22 NOW at a car dealership, and CH04CAT and CH12CAT on Cheshire Cat buses in town.

Into the centre of Warrington, eschewing The Hop Pole brings me to Skittles, a vanity project reputedly costing £1m. That is quickly followed by The Golden Gates and the iconic Pink Eye.

Turning into Old Liverpool Road brings me to Sankey Bridges and the shuttered Coach & Horses and Sloop Inn before I reach Thornton Road. Eagle Sports Club is down a rutted road on the right, and the car park is no better...

Ahead of me is the main pitch and beyond a rugby pitch, and in the distance another football pitch - with Fiddlers Ferry power station in the background. It's a railed off ground with the main side tarmacked to half way and the dugouts. Behind those is the Eagle Sports Social Club selling its own Up The Gulls canned beer.

The changing rooms are at the near end, and the other three sides are framed by residential housing - see attachments at the foot of the report.

Eagles are in two tone blue - light blue with a diagonal dark blue stripe and the Yellows, unsurprisingly, in yellow and black. A young referee and two linesmen, one begloved, the other sporting a full tattoo sleeve get matters underway in front of a crowd of 25ish. That crowd dissipates as the weather turns vile - driving rain, hail and a biting wind; the promised sunny spells do not arrive until the second half but the wind ensures there is little warmth from the sun.

The Gulls start better, having a shot shovelled wide and two shouts for a penalty. Then on 23 minutes home captain Coleman heads in decisively from a corner. There is nothing from the visitors until 2 minutes before the break when the left back shoots from 25 yards, prompting a sprawling save round the post.

The second half starts in similar vein, both sides struggling with the wind - but the Gulls (understandably !) coping better. A sliced defensive clearance is well held by Egerton's keeper and he then dives at the feet of a home striker to prevent a second goal.

On 62 minutes he produces a superb tip over, then claws away a viciously inswinging corner, saving the rebound and the follow up is cleared off the line. A deflected shot wide and another effort palmed aside continues to stymie the      Gulls.

Egerton are frustrated with their end product creating only wild shooting. That is until the 93rd minute when, out of nothing, a worldy volley into the top left corner gives them an undeserved equaliser. Matters are all over seconds later.

The equaliser is blamed on a home supporter trapping the ball from a miscued Gulls' shot and delivering the ball back to the Yellows' keeper instead of allowing the ball to run into the long grass and running down the clock.....

 

Eight Is Great - Breight Dead And Boroughed.... !

And so to Moss Park, Back Bury Road and the outskirts of Bolton for a clash, a derby of sorts, between Breightmet United and UoB Bolton Borough.

Breightmet United was founded in 1880, plying its trade in the Bolton & District Amateur League, West Lancashire League and then the Bolton Combination. Indeed United contributed a leather bound West Lancashire League membership book for the 1888/89 season to the National Football Museum.

In 1911 Breightmet reached the first round of the FA Cup, one game away from playing the mighty Arsenal. A narrow 1-0 reverse to Darwen, but the Salmoners were annihilated 10-1 at Highbury - so a lucky escape for United ??

1935 saw United buy their Bury Road ground for £453 with the club later joining the Manchester League Division One for the 1990/91 season. Champions in 2003, but relegated in 2009, Breightmet were placed in Division Two for the 2017/18 campaign.

2018/19 was the club's nadir: one draw in 24 games, -2 points following a 3 point deduction and a goal difference of -147. 2019/20 produced 5 points from 14 games, and in the last aborted season, only commenced following receipt of a Sport England grant which saved the club from extinction, 8th place out of 11 with seven points from seven games was a welcome improvement. 

However the 2021/22 campaign can only be described as disastrous - a 5-5 draw against Daisy Hill Development the only point gained prior to the back to back fixtures against the pointless Cavaliers. The home tie produced an extraordinary 9-5 victory, fighting back from a 3-1 half time deficit, but on the following Saturday Cavaliers exacted revenge in an atrocious 2-1 win featuring 4 red cards. Cavaliers have subsequently attracted nationwide attention and are now sponsored by SpecSavers and coached by Jimmy Bullard.

UoB Bolton Borough are a new team this season, the result of a joint venture between Bolton Wanderers and the University of Bolton. Their home ground is the artificial pitch at Wanderers' Eddie Davies Academy in Lostock.

Borough, in their inaugural campaign, currently sit 4th, with games in hand, on 35 points from 16 matches (eleven victories, two draws and three defeats) - compared to Breightmet's 4 points from 21 games... and a goal difference of -88......

On a gorgeous sunny spring day it's past a plethora of tanning salons - Solace, Sunsation, Sol and, later, Tantastic then Midnight Delivery in Sale before I hit the M60. Beyond Beyond (formerly known as Chill Factore) with numberplates today featuring F3MUR (costing an arm or a leg ?), 42K (costing considerably more...) and SOU5A.

Off at Junction 15 to the Devil's Road, A666, with bridge graffiti 'Your Fear Is Their Power' then the A570 leading to the A58 Bury Road and Complete Koi & Aquatics. Through Tonge Fold, Oaken Bottom and into Breightmet, where I'm greeted by Daisy Chains Nursery, Bloomers Balloons, Dogs Body's, Keith Hinsley Affordable Builder and The Wet Room.

Moss Park is opposite the retail estate, down a flooded back alley beset with flytipping and a partially stripped Transit van. A mini astroturf pitch is up top opposite the clubhouse, bar and changing rooms - the ground down below, encircled by trees, housing and Bury Road.

Breightmet are in black and white stripes, a mix and match of kits featuring sponsors B2B and Bid Group - Borough in white and blue with yellow trim. The crowd is 3, my neighbour ('thought I'd turn up to increase the crowd by 100%') being joined later by a young lady - although half a dozen are congregated in the beer garden watching on by the end.

The first half is one sided - UoB take the lead on 2 minutes with a penalty conceded from a silly handball. That is doubled on 10 minutes, a charged down clearance and the centre forward rounds the keeper for 2-0. Three minutes later Borough's right back speeds forward, plays a one two with the winger and slots in via the near post. United's final substitute belatedly arrives a quarter of an hour after kick off.....

The goals keep coming for the visitors; 21 minutes sees a cushioned volley and two minutes later a 25 yard screamer into the top corner makes it five. Breightmet's only opportunity is a volley from a corner - superbly saved.

Then bang on half time UoB's number 9 completes his hat trick with a messy toe poke, amidst much confusion in the six yard box. The interval sees three substitutions for the away team, including their hat trick hero, and they are nowhere near as cohesive in the second period.

Despite United's goalkeeper comedically, and painfully, colliding with a goalpost - a suicidal pass and a Borough open goal header steered wide - UoB only score twice more. On 67 an assured finish from the edge of the box and 9 minutes later a Panenka penalty, following a trip in the box.

The diminutive elderly referee has had enough and blows for time a full five minutes early - Breightmet United 0 UoB Bolton Borough 8 finalizado ☺

Chapel's Prayers Go Unanswered - Absolutely No Styal Whatsoever.....

And so after Storms Dudley, Eunice and Franklin have wrought havoc, putting paid to last weekend's fixture with a reformed Blacon Youth, it's to Altrincham Road in Styal for a Cheshire League Division One clash between Styal FC and  Holmes Chapel.

A football club existed in Styal in 1912, and this is taken as the year of the club's foundation. The club started out playing in the Lancashire and Cheshire League (L&CL).

Immediately after the war the Villagers played in the local Wilmslow & District League until they received an invitation to rejoin the L&CL, where they remained for a quarter of a century. They joined forces with the cricket club, building the present pavilion in 1958 and the land on which the ground stands was placed in trust by then owner HG Greg Esq.

Styal joined the Mid-Cheshire League (now the Cheshire League) in 1977 and, after various league reformations and two relegations and one promotion, moved up from Division 2 as runners up in 2001. Champions in 2007/08, the Villagers were relegated to the renamed League One in 2017 where they remain - 7 wins and 13 defeats this time around.

Holmes Chapel Hurricanes FC was founded in 2000 by Chris Rogers as a vehicle to enable his son and friends to play football. Initially playing local league football, and based at Holmes Chapel Leisure Centre, The Hurricanes moved up to the Cheshire League in 2018, finishing next to bottom of League 2 in their first term. 

After the Covid aborted 2019/20 season, last year's curtailed campaign saw Chapel place 4th of 11 which was enough to secure promotion to Division One - where they sit 5th of 15 with 32 points from 18 games.

Through Timperley, House of Boba, Marvel Guitars, Barberian, Harry's Den, the Frank Sidebottom memorial and Hale Country Club & Spa, curiously hosting Bowdon RUFC. Then into Roaring Gate Lane with number plates M15 ADO, DOO8Y, U D18K ED (unbelievable !!) and a van advertising Home James (plumbing) into Altrincham Road, past Peacock Farm, home of Kirk Butchers, 'Traditional Aged Cured Beef', The Ship Inn, and opposite Apprentice Lane, I reach Styal Sports and Social Club.

The road is completely jammed with parked cars for the adjacent Quarry Bank Mill and there is minimal space at the Club - but the lack of parking leads to inventiveness and a 13 point turn, avoiding the mud. Inside there is The Alan Jones Stand, a small covered terrace, next to which is the only seating - a bench occupied by 2 adults and one child. This is agin the sports club, backing onto the cricket pitch and pavilion - the clubhouse selling Mobberley Brewhouse Unchained this afternoon.

The Villagers are in yellow and blue, sponsored by Lowery Capital, Chapel in red and black - their sponsors Manifest Fitness on the front, George & Dragon on the back - as the sides kick off against a tree lined backdrop and drenched fields. Breezy with sporadic sunshine and on a very soggy pitch, matters get underway at 1355 - the crowd topping out at 15, mostly away fans. The referee is a silver haired, moustachioed pensioner, and subject to much vitriol from both benches.

Styal start the stronger and have a golden chance on 20 minutes - a woeful back pass produces an even worse spoon over from the ensuing one on one. Chapel's skipper amazingly heads wide from 3 yards seven minutes later.

Then, on the half hour, the talking point of the half. The Villagers create an opportunity, scruffily shooting beyond the Hurricanes' keeper, and the ball is messily diverted back from over the line and onto the post and cleared. The referee is handily placed on the half way line (!) and awards a corner - which hits the bar.....

The second half is abject, with a surfeit of hoofing, overhit passes and appalling shooting. The two main chances, one for either side, come from one on ones involving rounding the keeper but woeful control means they come to nought.

The match plays out to a goalless draw, but not before some spectator abuse leads to Styal's left back taking offence leading to a contretemps, involving (presumably) the spectator's son (number 15) squaring up - handbags.....

The game festers to a close with more unseemly scenes at the final whistle.....