A Walk In The Paddock - Valley Out Of Their Depth......

And so not to the Butchers Arms in Droylsden, but to Manchester Enterprise Academy (formerly Parklands High School) in Wythenshawe, for a Cheshire League Division Two fixture between Stretford Paddock - their first home match in this league - and Mersey Valley, ahead of tonight's Rugby League Grand Final at Old Trafford.

Stretford Paddock is an unofficial, unaffiliated Manchester United You Tube channel and news outlet, with its studio in Lever Street in Manchester's Northern Quarter. It was founded in January 2013 as Full Time Devils United fan channel.

In 2018 Full Time Devils changed ownership and on 22 November that year the Stretford Paddock You Tube channel was created to replicate the original Full Time Devils site.

Stretford Paddock FC was accepted to join the Lancashire and Cheshire League on 12 June 2020. Promoted from Division One, after a truncated eight game season that saw five wins and a draw, Paddock finished third in the Premier - and that was sufficient to earn them a Cheshire League Division Two place for 2022/23. Six successive away games has brought three wins, a draw and two defeats - but no league games for four weeks, amidst rumours that Dave Pace, owner of dormant Droylsden FC, is selling their home venue, the Butchers Arms ground, for housing.

Mersey Valley FC from Banky Lane, which lies on the border of Sale and Carrington, was set up in 2014, joining the Cheshire League Division 2. The Ambers gained promotion in 2016, but dropped down in 2018 despite finishing mid table. Valley then resigned mid season 2019/20 with their results expunged.

The club reformed and was readmitted this summer to the Cheshire League, starting with 4 home fixtures but their record shows two draws out of 6 home games and a solitary away win from three contests, and they lie next to bottom with 5 points from 9 games (after a 9-1 drubbing at St Michaels last weekend). Their motto of 'Health and Happiness' rather misplaced currently.....

En route, fittingly as the sun puts in an appearance, today's first numberplate is RAY5, joined later by CA11 PBP (PB Painters) and a van displaying 'How's My Driving ? - 'Call 0800 F*CK YOU'.... Then afterwards URB4N and a lorry advertising Scheidt & Bachman.... That same eclectic bunch of shops brings me via Elijos (formerly Mughal), Wok Inn, Jolly's Kafe, hold ups due to MT Grab Hire, to Timperley Village, and the Frank Sidebottom statue, Little Italy and the 'Bar In The Village' (not much thought put into that one !!)

Then after Dixons Brooklands Academy, passing Southmoor Industrial Estate, Schmitz Cargobull, Beers Timber & Building Supplies, Roundthorn and Martinscroft tram stops as we reach Hollyhedge Road. There follows St John's Catholic Mens Club and Haveley Hey Primary School on the vast council estate encircling Greenwood Road and Newall Green. 

The academy, with its new facility 'The Greenwood', is opposite Foxlair Road and abutting Simonsway. A 3G pitch and, unusually, a 3pm kick off, with a crowd peaking at 35 and no Chicken Hut Blues in this part of Wythenshawe....

Paddock, sponsored by OneFootball, are in United red and white, Mersey, sponsored by Motor Technology, are in amber and black - the home side have a goal disallowed on 5 minutes for offside but continue to press. Eventually the ball is cut back on 26 for Michael Burke to shoot and his effort just squirms over the line. Valley are having more joy hitting the corner flag than testing Stretford's keeper...

Nine minutes on Ronaldo Brown is tripped in the area and Tom Jones unconvincingly converts the penalty - this either side of two awful misses (his dad's words - stood next to me); one after bypassing the keeper and shanking wide, the other from barely four yards. So perhaps it's not unusual that he is hooked at half time.... A second disallowed goal leaves Paddock two up at the break.

The second period provides more of the same and on 54 James Oatt volleys home at the far post for 3-0. Eight minutes after impressive and speedy winger Kieron Molloy fires across the keeper to make it four - which becomes five on 71 as sub David Salome Sharpe drills in from a well worked free kick.

And that is pretty much that, the closest to another goal when Paddock hit the post, as the Ambers leave 5-0 losers, with a late sinbinning and 5 yellow cards - the last, bizarrely, to Mersey's manager for a comment from the crowd ('Ref - you're Stretford's man of the match'). But at least we see Valley have a shot on target....