The Moore The Merrier - Village People Cruisin' In Seventh Heaven....

And so to Chapel Lane and Partington Sports Village (Partington Leisure Centre in my day !!) for the Cheshire League Division One clash between Partington Village FC, playing their opening game of the season, and Moore United FC, who have already played three league matches, garnering a single point thus far.

Partington Village FC was established in 1939, playing in lower local leagues, and hitting the heights in recent years. Four consecutive league titles, culminating in being crowned as league champions of Cheshire League Division Two at the point of null and voiding, sees Village play their first ever game at this level - and there is a League Cup Final against Styal to play for next month.

Moore United from Latchford, Warrington, was established in 1946. Billy Green's Red and White Army finished next to bottom at the curtailment of the last campaign.

 

On a cold autumnal day, with a biting wind, the four mile, ten minute journey conjures up more than expected... The roadworks that have paralysed Manchester Road have thankfully finished, so it's past Trafford College, the proposed, currently rejected, 5G mast site, then Bramley Farm, the council tip and Roe Clare Cattery.

 

Numberplates SS10UXS and ST11NTZ appear plus a German Schuller lorry with the slogan 'Kuchen fur Leben' - so not much repeat business there !! It's a shockingly rutted road, hemmed in by rampant hedges before I turn left onto Chapel Lane. Partington Sports Village is on the outskirts of Partington and affords plenty of parking next to the astroturf pitch and netball/ basketball courts. The indoor leisure centre is to my right, and the open fields reveal a partially taped off pitch, scene of today's game, and, in the distance, a rugby pitch. Next door is Broadoak High School, and up top playing fields and woods adjacent to Warburton Lane.

 

The referee arrives in his car shortly after me, already fully kitted out, but there are no assistant referees, with the lines being run by a member of each team's coaching staff. No admission fee, naturally, and a crowd (counted by me !!) of 24, including babies - although this is fairly fluid, given the comings and goings, and indeed a 25th spectator rocks up just after the hour mark.

2pm kick off with Village in all maroon, sponsored by Atlantic Timber, and Moore in change blue with white flashing, sponsored by Deliveroo. The first few minutes see Partington dominating early exchanges, but their players are seemingly more interested in the fortunes of Manchester United in the early kick off at Brighton, rather than the game they are actually playing in.

 

Once that is all sorted Village take full control, and on 18 minutes score their first with the ball driven home from a blocked shot. Three minutes later an unconvincing lob from a through ball just reaches the net, and a further three minutes on Partington strike the bar, but that is with the aid of a Moore hand. The penalty is summarily despatched to make it 3-0.

 

On 32 minutes an inadvertent deflection off a United defender plays in an offside Village striker who scores easily. 4-0 and Partington hit the post with the last kick of the first period. Half time lasts barely five minutes - industrial language on one side of the pitch, laughter and merriment on the other....

 

Under a minute after the restart and a lovely team move, culminating in a sublime one two, results in a tap in, Josh McVety's hat trick and it's five ! Thereafter Village go off the boil for a while and fall asleep seven minutes later, allowing Moore to score what proves to be a meaningless consolation.

 

Normal service is shortly resumed and with twenty minutes left Tykio Williams races on to a  through ball to score, and Partington then hit the bar and force two great saves. In the final minute the ball is recycled twice in the penalty area resulting in a simple tap in for the outstanding Zak Ashford. 7-1 at the death..... Village is more, and Moore is less !!!

Skem Get The Blues As Lions Roar...

And so to the FA Vase First Round Qualifying at the JMO Sports Park and an all NWCFL clash between Skelmersdale United and Stockport Town.

The home club had its genesis in 1882 with a team of players brought together by the teaching staff of Skelmersdale Wesleyan Day School and was called Skelmersdale Young Rovers, before becoming Skelmersdale Wesleyans and then Skelmersdale United. Skem joined the Liverpool County Combination in 1909, winning ten championships before moving ground, from Sandy Lane to White Moss Park, and league to the Lancashire Combination in 1956.

In 1967 the Blueboys won their way to the FA Amateur Cup Final at Wembley in front of 75,000 spectators, drawing 0-0 with Enfield, before losing 3-0 in the replay at Maine Road. Two seasons later United transferred to the Cheshire County League, and, after two FA Amateur Cup semi final losses, finally won the trophy in 1971 with a 4-1 thrashing of Dagenham at Wembley - the club also moved up to the Northern Premier League.

By 1976 United had dropped into the Lancashire Combination and in 1982, when the Combination was amalgamated with the Cheshire County League to form the North West Counties League (NWCL), the Blueboys became a founder member. The club left their spiritual home of White Moss Park in 2002 for Stormy Corner and a second-place finish brought promotion back to the Northern Premier League in 2006.

Skem finished in a play-off position all but once in the next 5 seasons, with all ending in failure. Finally in the 2012-2013 season they finished top of the league, being promoted to the Northern Premier League Premier Division, after winning the league by a 16 point margin, scoring 110 goals in the league campaign.

Serious financial problems ensued in 2014/15 but the Blueboys battled through until March 2017 when a 6-0 home drubbing by Buxton meant relegation to Division One North. This was coupled with the announcement that the club had been unable to agree a new lease on its Uretek Stadium aka Stormy Corner ground and as a result was at risk of ceasing to exist.

Skem were evicted on 20 October 2017, played two games at the Marine Travel Arena, before commencing a season-long groundshare at Valerie Park, home of Prescot Cables (the 'Pesky Bulls'). 2018/19 saw United playing in the newly titled NPL Division One West, but a miserable season saw only 13 points garnered and relegation back to the NWCFL. Last season United were in 15th at the point of null and voided, but more importantly the Blueboys moved to their new home of the JMO Sports Park and played their first game at the venue on Boxing Day 2019 against local rivals Burscough, coming out on top with a 4-0 win in front of 266 supporters.

Stockport Town, 'The Lions', was formed in February 2014 but their initial request to join the North West Counties in the Premier Division was refused in the summer of 2014. After a year of preparation (or in the wilderness....) they were allowed to join Division One at the start of the 2015/16 season.

Previous tenants Stockport Sports, formerly Woodley Sports, who were playing in the Premier Division, were expelled from the league early in 2015 for postponing games, and, amidst unpaid debts, were liquidated. Conspiracy theories abounded... Last time around Town were in 9th place when the season was abandoned, notwithstanding Robbie Savage stepping out of retirement to make a 10 minute cameo appearance against now defunct FC Oswestry Town.

So against a background of an azure sky, golden sunshine, but a stiff breeze, I set off past Da Noi, the Altrincham stocks 'Police Lock Up 1938', Cordon Vert and the new Little Waitrose en route to the M56. A bizarre set of numberplates occur - A5 EVA teamed with E4EVA, then R1LEY and R1LED, and topped off by WH05 WHO - what are the chances of that occurring ??

Onto the M6, Thelwall behaving itself, beyond the mammoth Movianta warehousing then the M58 and off at Junction 4 to the massive Hope Island. Ignoring the incorrectly signed football club directions (still imploring us to go to Stormy Corner) it's left, bypassing a plethora of business parks, finally I reach Railway Road and the JMO Sports Park aka One Call Taxis Stadium on the left. 

There's a huge free car park next to the complex, which has two full sized pitches, a 9 a side pitch, three 7 a side pitches and five 5 a side pitches. £6 at the gate, completing the track and trace and into a match limited to an attendance of 300 - in the event 169 show up.

Inside there's a covered terrace area to my right and the main all seater stand to my left where apparently 'Face Mask Compulsary' (sic) - unsurprisingly this is universally ignored. Beyond leads to steps and a raised area with the clubhouse and bar looking out over the pitch. Opposite is a walkway leading to the other pitches, and to the right a path with Railway Road behind.

Before kick off I chat to a Skem diehard, who proudly shows off his 50th anniversary 2020-2021 FA Amateur Cup badge. Then we move on to Burscough FC, and their owner, who is universally reviled in Skelmersdale. Turns out that he also owns Stormy Corner and gave the Blueboys two hours notice of eviction - he shows me a picture of a 'Wanted Dead or Alive - For Money Making' poster that Skem fans produced...

The story continues - Burscough have sold their ground, built a new one adjacent incorporating an all weather pitch, which has immediately flooded, and installed the old main stand from Stormy Corner, which has already been condemned and now removed. NWCFL have refused permission for the new stadium to be used for matches, resulting in today's Vase game against Hallam being switched to Sheffield (Hallam ultimately won on penalties !!). All this gleefully imparted..... And was I aware of the 4-0 drubbing of Burscough on Boxing Day for the first match at the JMO ?? Mmm, think we might have covered that earlier...

The Blueboys naturally are in all blue with white trim, the Lions in white and black, with a youthful refereeing team and one of the linesmen wearing spectacles. Strangely the game kicks off at 1456.....

Stockport start the stronger and on 9 minutes a long ball finds Aaron Knight, looking suspiciously offside and definitely socially distanced, who controls the ball awkwardly and slots past Skem keeper, and well known local heroic police officer, Ben Barnes to give the visitors the lead.

Barnes then saves well from Lee Grimshaw and is subsequently booked for a ridiculous altercation which leaves Grimshaw poleaxed. As for Skem, very little until the final few minutes of the half when Morgan Piper produces two wonderful saves to deny Lloyd Ellams and sub Michael Grogan. Half time leads to a wholly unexpected catch up with steward Big John.

United start the second period sloppily, and 7 minutes through Knight plays in Grimshaw who places the ball beyond Barnes and it's 2-0 to Stockport. Shortly after the same combination brings a brave save from Barnes.

The Blueboys are disappointing, huffing and puffing in the strong breeze, creating little from their humping the long ball tactics. Finally a chance arises, fashioned by a strong header from Richard Brodie, but fellow sub Emini Agegbenro gets it all wrong and hooks horribly wide.

To the final four minutes (closer to ten with stoppages) and suddenly the match erupts. Ellams with a vicious, swerving and dipping free kick scores off the underside of the bar to halve the deficit, and two minutes later hits the bar with a longer range dead ball kick.

Brodie is shown a straight red for violent conduct, which again leaves Grimshaw poleaxed. With the changing rooms out of action, bizarrely he has to slink to the corner flag and 'hide'... 'He's bringing himself on in a minute' is the chirp next to me. Just time for Clayton Gorman to miss a sitter for the Lions with Barnes patrolling the half way line and hopelessly out of position for a Town counter attack - hurriedly and helplessly rushing back as the shot is both high and wide. Nonetheless lower league Stockport win the tie 2-1 and go to Bacup Borough in the next round.

Six of The Best - Academicals Taught A Lesson !

And so to the Aspray Arena and Noose Lane in Willenhall for a Midland League Premier Division curtain raiser between Sporting Khalsa and Haughmond.

Sporting Khalsa - khalsa a community that takes Sikhism as its faith - was established in 1991 playing senior football in the Walsall & District Sunday leagues, and playing Saturday football between 1995 and 1997.

After a committee reorganisation in 2004 the club rejoined the West Midlands (Regional) League, immediately gaining promotion. In the following year Sporting became the first Asian semi professional club in the country to own its own ground - Abbey Park Stadium, formerly the home of Bloxwich Town FC.

After five years at Abbey Park the Lions purchased the 5 acre freehold grounds of Willenhall Town FC from the Receivers and Aspray Arena was born. Division One was conquered that season and the Premier Division awaited....

As champions of the Premier League in 2014/15 Khalsa were promoted to the Midland League, finishing third in their first two terms. A £1m redevelopment at Noose Lane in 2017, necessitating a groundshare with AFC Wulfrunians, saw Sporting slip from first to fifth. The revamped stadium, with 5G pitch, was opened in July 2018 - the Lions in second last time, with games in hand, before the season was null and voided.

Haughmond FC, from the Sundorne Sports Village in Shrewsbury, was established in 1980 and moved to the Shropshire County Premier League. The Mond won the double of the league and Ron Jones Memorial Cup in 2011, and were promoted to the West Midlands (Regional) League Division Two, which they won in their first season.

The Academicals triumphed in Division One two seasons later, and then achieved promotion to the Midland League in 2016/17; relegated in their inaugural season, promoted as runners up the following year and 16th from 20 as the pandemic hit last term.

So with a bruised sky and patchy rain then changing to watery sun, and via MillionHairs (pet beautician !) it's on to the roadworks at Knutsford, promising 11 more months of misery. THE PIES graffiti is back on the motorway bridge just before Sandbach, and in the opposite direction it's SMOKE PIES...

Then I am assaulted by an array of advertising hoardings in farmers' fields - Cheeky Bathrooms, PartySwan (best present ever - apparently) and 'Are You Pregnant ?' (I sincerely hope not...) And a van with numberplate JU55 MUK and livery of 'Wot The Muck', then a car showboating a plate of G4SPS (yes really !!)

To the Smart Motorway, 18 miles and 18 months of motorway horror due to 'overnight technology'. Most of the red motorway bridge signs have disappeared, but there is a new one at Ash Flats Lane. I depart at junction 10 on to Neachells Lane and then turn right into Watery Lane just after Wags Pet Spa and before the Planetary Industrial Estate.

Beyond Edward Howell Galvanizers (part of the legendary B.E. Wedge Group !! - nostalgia trip.....) and then left into Noose Lane brings me to the vast complex that comprises the Aspray Arena, the 442 bar and Black Country Performance Hub, a community sports facility. Across the way is the Aspray Logistics warehouse.

Plenty of parking and it's £5 in plus track and trace details, with today's crowd limited to 300 - the attendance is 95, in stark contrast to Khalsa's record crowd of 2252 against FC United of Manchester in the FA Cup 4th Qualifying Round in 2015. This was a match littered with crowd violence as FCUM fans were allegedly attacked by flares and a dustbin....

Inside the £1m revamp has provided a tidy, but soulless, stadium which does not extend to dugouts (just an extra row of seats) or comprehensible tannoy. Surrounded by trees on three sides, the ground is reached via a small ginnel adjacent to the many 5 a side pitches. Inside there are two covered all blue and yellow seater stands, one covering half the pitch and, opposite, the main extending to two thirds. A raised walkway is to the left end, and ducks down to pitch level, incorporating the changing rooms, on the right with a food kiosk and the bar in the right hand corner.

Sporting are in yellow and blue, the Academicals in white and black. Inexplicably the match kicks off three and a half minutes late, but there is the ubiquitous tubby linesman - tubby is being kind, given the expanse of his obesity.

90 seconds in and Khalsa lead - Josh McKenzie afforded huge amounts of space in the penalty area to steer his header into the left hand top corner. Thereafter the Lions roar, dominating possession and creating chances, the closest of which sees a mazy run, beating 5 Acamedicals' players, end with the ball striking the post, and Matt Fletcher's absurd clearance goes horribly wrong. An inevitable own goal is prevented by an astonishing Sam Jones save.

Mond take heart from this and start to grow into the game; captain Jack Griffiths has their best opportunity, but inexplicably cushions his volley into the side netting when facing an open goal. Sporting respond and marauding right back Carlo Franco powerfully heads in another delicious cross on 36 minutes to make it 2-0 at the break.

The second half meanders along, Sporting's Sean Williams going close twice and horribly high, wide and distinctly unhandsome with his third shot. 74 minutes and for all the world a comfortable 2-0 home win is on the cards.... but then all hell breaks loose.

A short corner causes pandemonium in the Academicals' box and Michael Perks is credited with the final touch. A minute later and Williams' cross is diverted by the unfortunate Griffiths into the far corner, followed by the third goal in three minutes as a fabulous, slick team move sees Gurjit (Gaz) Singh sidefoot home - and suddenly it's 5-0.

All too much for one of the several Haughmond supporters who nipped away for a crafty fag: 'That was an interesting roll up - three goals and two substitutions'.... He and his party leave, but loiter by the exit gates, just in time to see another short corner in the final minute ending with another superb half volleyed finish from the Lions' Singh.

6-0 at the death, and well as Khalsa played you can't help thinking that Haughmond hung themselves at the Noose (Lane) ....

Canaries' Rous(l)ing Performance Knocks Sporting Off Their Perch....

And so to another trip to Worcestershire, this time to the Victoria Ground, for a Southern League Premier Central clash between Bromsgrove Sporting and Barwell.

Bromsgrove Rovers FC was formed in 1885 and initially played in the local Studley & District League, during which time they played on at least four grounds before arriving at the Victoria Ground in 1910. Rovers were promoted to the Birmingham & District League in 1898, then switching to the Birmingham Combination in 1908, where they were to remain until 1954 when it was absorbed into the Birmingham & District League, later renamed the West Midlands (Regional) League. Rovers were champions of the Combination on two occasions (1946–47 & 1959–60) and reached the FA Cup first round Proper for the first time in 1947, losing 2–1 to Aldershot. 

In 1972 the club joined the Southern Football League, and, under Bobby Hope, Rovers won the Midland Division in 1985–86 to gain a place in the Premier Division. The 1991–92 season saw a remarkable run of 15 home wins in a row to pip Dover Athletic to the Premier Division title with a game to spare, meaning Bromsgrove were promoted to the pinnacle of non league football, the Football Conference.

This remarkable form from the promotion season continued during the 1992–93 season, with Bromsgrove, despite being one of the smallest clubs in the Conference, finishing runners-up to the eventual champions Wycombe Wanderers. The following season, 1993–94, saw Bromsgrove get past the first round (Proper) of the FA Cup for the first time, claiming their only ever league scalp with an away 2–1 victory over Northampton Town. After another away victory in the second round against fellow Conference side Yeovil Town, Bromsgrove lost at home to Barnsley 2-1, the Tykes scoring twice in the last two minutes. 

Rovers were relegated from the Conference back to the Southern League in 1996–97, and after this the club went into almost permanent decline. Further relegations to Division One West in 1998–99 and then to the Midland Football Alliance in 2001 followed, although promotion back to the Southern League was gained at the first attempt. In 2007 Bromsgrove reached the Division One West playoffs, defeating Evesham United 1–0 in the semi-final then coming from a goal down in the final to beat Willenhall Town 2–1 in the final, to return to the Southern League Premier Division.

After a bright start to 2007–08, a poor run of results saw manager Rod Brown dismissed, and Duane Darby was put in temporary charge. But under his charge the team plummeted to an abysmal set of results which saw Rovers relegated leading to protests against the controlling shareholder and sole director, Tom Herbert, in the close season and an attempted takeover by a fans' consortium. Darby was sacked shortly afterwards.....

Any hopes of bouncing back were abruptly brought back down to earth with first the presentation of a winding-up petition, and then a fans' consortium bid and takeover from Mike Ward both failing. With the lease of the Victoria Ground expiring in the close season, the landlord declared that it was open to applications for a new lease. The fans' consortium announced that they had started a new club, Bromsgrove Sporting – and had applied for the lease.

In June 2010, the District Council announced that Bromsgrove Sporting were to be awarded the new lease for the ground; it was planned that Bromsgrove Rovers would continue to play their home matches there. However Rovers then said that they could not afford to pay the hire charge, following which a court order removed them from the ground. On 11 August 2010, Rovers were slung out of the Southern League after not being able to show that they had a ground to play at, and never played again. 

Bromsgrove Sporting Football Club was formed in 2009 by a group of former Bromsgrove Rovers directors and supporters with Rovers in serious financial difficulty and facing closure. Whilst being offered the tenancy of the town’s Victoria Ground, Sporting initially had to play all home matches at the Beehive, home of Studley FC, as the pitch at the Victoria Ground had been left in an unplayable condition.

After a lot of work and expenditure, Sporting were able to play their first match in Bromsgrove on 6th November 2010 in front of a crowd of 458 and despite The Rouslers missing out on the two promotion places a reorganisation of the Midland Combination saw them move into Division One for season 2011/12. Deja vu the following season, as again they missed out on automatic promotion, but Sporting were elevated to the Midland Combination Premier Division when the League increased the number of teams at the top level.

The Rouslers finished runners up in 2014 and 2015, the latter featuring a run to the 3^rd Round of the FA Vase before losing to the marvellously named Thurnby Nirvana. 2015/16 saw Sporting as the bridesmaids again, finishing second in the Midland Football League Division One to Coventry United.

But season 2016/17 was the club’s most successful to date - finally winning the league with 104 points (19 ahead of Hinckley AFC) and reaching the semi finals of the FA Vase, losing 2-1 on aggregate to Cleethorpes Town, with a record crowd of 3349 for the home tie.

The Rouslers were then crowned champions of the Midland Football League Premier Division in 2017/18, moving up to Step 4. Last term Sporting won a third consecutive promotion via the play-offs in a crazy final game against Corby Town, where Bromsgrove ran out 4-3 winners after extra-time. This time Sporting sit fourth in the BetVictor Southern League Premier Division Central, but with form starting to stutter.

Barwell FC, formerly nicknamed The Kirkby Roaders (where the club play with seats in the main stand acquired from Filbert Street), and now known as the Canaries, was established in 1992 as a merger of Hinckley FC and Barwell Athletic. They took Hinckley's place in the Midland Combination, before becoming a founder member of the Midland Alliance in 1994. The club reached the last sixteen of the FA Vase in 1995/96 losing 3-1 away to Flixton.

After finishing as runners-up in 2008/09, they won the league the following year, earning promotion to Division One South of the Northern Premier League. Their inaugural season in the division saw them win the title, earning promotion to Step Three, but instead of playing in the Northern Premier League's Premier Division, the club were moved to the Premier Division of the Southern League. Barwell also reached the semi finals of the FA Vase that term, ultimately losing out to eventual winners Whitley Bay.

Two seasons later they were transferred back to the Northern Premier League, and then laterally transferred again to the Premier Central Division of the Southern League in 2018 following another non league pyramid restructure. The Canaries finished 16th last time, and currently sit 13th.

I set out to a parliament of magpies in the trees (yes really - and how apposite !!) and then an industrial unit occupied by Office Refurb, specialising in 'Delapidation' (not quite ELCTRICALS. TOILETORIES but close !!), numberplates of 000 321, LE55 GAS (?) and D13 BRO... Matched by a hoarding on a rusting truck by the side of the M6 'Avertise - Rent Space Here'....

Then Smart Motorway and distracting red bridge signs - this week Eccleshall Road, reminding me of a trip to see the Eagles, the dirt track, unseen tractors, and spectators stranded on the mud bath of a 'car park'. This leads to that jolly good storage place and the West Midlands this time shimmering in the spring sunshine.

The M5 provides a French lorry, carrying Belzebuth Violette biere, flirting with the fast lane, and more Oldbury viaduct testing and speed restrictions. Off at junction 4 to the A38, bypassing Lydiate Ash and Lickey End and the A448 (the A38 closed in both directions beyond because of an accident), leading to Bromsgrove, famous for its cloth, leather and nailmaking industries (and Harris paint brushes !!)

I park in the last free spot on School Drive, by the leisure centre, and head into town, past Hoiti Toyti and a bust of AE Housman, born in Bromsgrove, but famous for his poetry 'A Shropshire Lad'. Then a pint of Legend at the Golden Cross, before a walk taking me beyond Artyfacts to the Victoria Ground.

£10 in, the league's highest crowd today of 846, and a tidy ground with the club shop on approach and a walkway spanning the perimeter of the stadium. Immediately I come to the Sporting Lounge and Rouslers Bar  with the Shed End, a deep covered terrace, up top - alongside is the Shed End Snack Shack.

Across the way is the main grandstand with a shallow terrace in front, incorporating 30 blue (?) seats where we perch; to the right is The Rouslers Return snack bar and the Town End open terrace looking out onto Georgian buildings (and Aldi !!)

The Canaries are in lime green, with their stopper Max Bramley (wearing 13 rather than 1), and Sporting in red with white pinstripes and blue shorts.

An open and entertaining first half ensues; Jack Wilson's marauding run on 8 minutes ends with a shot straight at Bramley, whilst two minutes later Barwell's Tristan Dunkley is played through, one on one, but overruns the ball. It is a lesson not learnt however....

Dunkley is given a further opportunity on 25 minutes but home keeper Daniel Platt saves with his feet. From the resulting corner there is indecision, haphazard defending and Dunkley, scruffily, toe pokes the ball into the corner of the net.

On the half hour Greg Mills' perseverance wins a corner which he then takes. Bramley loses it in the air, allowing Leon Broadhurst to head home the equaliser from a yard out. Kai Williams blasts over for the Canaries before we reach the break at 1-1.

Five minutes into the second period and Mills, fortuitously, makes and then passes up a chance, shooting into the side netting when a lay off was the better option - it proves to be the turning point of the game. Three minutes later Williams is given far too much time and space to drill the ball across Platt into the far corner and the Canaries are chirping....

Barwell then take advantage of Bromsgrove's attacking policy, Sporting's full backs bombing forward much more than defending and their centre backs lacking pace, leaving gaping holes at the back. Williams hits the post and number nine Omotolani Omotola misses a sitter. It's not all one way though as the Rouslers' Gibraltar international Reece Styche flashes one just over the far angle, and sub Richard Gregory has a header tipped away by Bramley.

With a quarter of an hour to go Kieren Westwood brings down Williams in the penalty box, and Canaries' captain Brady Hickey scores from the spot down the middle to make it 3-1. Worse is to follow six minutes later when Platt gets the ball trapped under his feet from a back pass and Omotola brushes him aside to tap into an empty net for 4-1.

Styche's dreadful miss, chipping wide after outmuscling his defender in injury time, is the final nail in a bad afternoon at the office for the Rouslers...

Church Needs A Miracle After Being Put Through the Mill(s) - That's No Word Of A Lye !!

And so to another trip to flooded Worcestershire, this time to Lye Meadow, and more Southern Premier Central football between Alvechurch and Needham Market.

Football in Alvechurch dates back to 1913 in the form of Alvechurch Juniors FC. By the 1920s the club had changed name to Alvechurch Swifts but 1926 saw the General Strike, depression and the demise of the football club. The club was resurrected in 1929 again as Alvechurch Juniors and played at the Meadows, a field given to the club by a Colonel Wiggins, competing in the Redditch League until World War II. They then moved to Guants and purchased land in 1957 which was transformed into the current ground at Lye Meadow. The Church were runners-up in the West Midlands Alliance in 1960–61 and moved up to Division One of the Worcestershire Combination. After a seventh-place finish in their first season in the Combination, the next seven seasons saw the club finish either first or second in the league, winning the league title in 1963, 1965 and 1967. In 1965–66 they also reached the semi-finals of the FA Amateur Cup, eventually losing 1–0 to Wealdstone at Stamford Bridge with around 10,000 supporters travelling to London for the game.

The league was renamed the Midland Combination in 1968 and Alvechurch won their fourth title in 1972. That season also saw them make FA Cup history, now never to be broken; in the 4th Qualifying Round they were drawn against Oxford City. Following a 2–2 draw at home, the tie went to a (Guinness Book of Records) record five replays at Oxford City, St Andrews, the Manor Ground (twice) and finally, after 17 days and six cup ties, the Church won the fifth replay 1–0 at  Villa Park. The win meant that Alvechurch reached the First Round proper, becoming the first club from the Midland Combination to do so. They went on to lose 4–2 at Aldershot.

After finishing as runners-up in the Midland Combination in 1972/73, Alvechurch switched to the Premier Division of the West Midlands (Regional) League. The club's first season in the league saw them reach the first round of the FA Cup again, defeating Fourth Division Exeter City 1-0. This was followed by a 6–1 win at home to King's Lynn in the second round, before a 4–2 defeat at Bradford City in the third round. That season the Church also won the West Midlands (Regional) League title, the League Cup, the Birmingham Senior Amateur Cup and the Worcestershire Senior Cup, thereafter retaining the league title for the next three seasons, before moving up to Division One North of the Southern League.

Following league reorganisation, Alvechurch were placed in the Southern League's Midland Division for the 1979/80 season, and were divisional champions in 1981, beating Dartford of the Southern Division in the championship play-off, winning 1–0 at home and losing 3–2 away, and winning the tie 4–3 on penalties. A further league reorganisation then saw them placed in the new Premier Division for the 1982/83 campaign, but relegation to the Midland Division in 1990, and another relegation two seasons later saw them drop back into the Premier Division of the West Midlands (Regional) League. After the death of club benefactor Philip Palmer and a brief intervention by Geoff Turton of The Rockin' Berries pop group, the club was taken over by financial speculators and subsequently folded in 1993.

The club was re-established under the name of Alvechurch Villa in 1994, entering the Premier Division of the Midland Combination. In 1996 they reverted to the name of Alvechurch FC, and in 2002/03 the club were Premier Division champions and League Cup winners, prompting promotion to the Midland Alliance. When the Midland League was created in 2014, Alvechurch were placed in the Premier Division. They were runners-up in the league first time around and went on to win the league and League Cup double the following season thereby earning promotion to Division One South of the Northern Premier League.

Alvechurch's first season in the Northern Premier League saw them finish as runners-up in Division One South, resulting in promotion to the Premier Division Central of the Southern League. A fourth-place finish in 2018/19 led to the club qualifying for the promotion play-offs. However, after beating Stourbridge 2–1 in the semi-finals, they lost 3–0 to King's Lynn Town in the final. However a change of manager, Ian Long moving to Stourbridge and all bar 4 of the squad leaving, then his successor Darren Byfield being sacked in November, has led to a terrible second season syndrome with the Church languishing in 21st place this time, garnering only 17 points, 8 adrift of safety.

Although records show the existence of a Needham Market Football Club during the late 1890s, the modern club was officially established in 1919. They joined the Ipswich & District League and subsequently won Division Two A in 1932–33 and after World War II captured the Division Two title in 1946–47 before going on to win Division One in 1952–53. 

Following relegation in 1984, in 1986–87 the Marketmen were Division One runners-up, earning promotion back to the Senior Division.  In 1996 the club were Senior Division champions, and were promoted to Division One of the Jewson (then Ridgeon and now Thurlow Nunn) Eastern Counties League. They were Division One runners-up in 2004/05 and were promoted to the Premier Division. In 2006–07 the club won the East Anglian Cup, before going on to finish as runners-up in the Premier Division and winning the League Challenge Cup and the Suffolk Premier Cup in 2007–08, as well as reaching the semi-finals of the FA Vase, losing 4–2 on aggregate to Kirkham & Wesham (now AFC Fylde).

The 2009–10 season saw Needham Market win the Premier Division title and the League Cup double, earning promotion to Division One North of the Isthmian League. In their first season in Division One, Needham finished as runners-up, qualifying for the promotion play-offs, but losing 3–1 at home to Brentwood Town. The following season the club finished third, again reaching the play-offs, but lost 1–0 to Enfield Town. They qualified for the play-offs for a third time after finishing fifth in 2014, this time losing 1–0 to Witham Town. Finally the Marketmen went on to win the division in 2015, earning promotion to the Premier Division. In 2017 they won the Suffolk Premier Cup for a second time.

Needham Market were transferred to the Premier Central division of the Southern League at the end of the 2017/18 season as part of the restructuring of the non-League pyramid. After a bright start, the visitors from Bloomfields, named after former player and club stalwart of 70 years Derrick Bloomfield, finished 11th last term - the Marketmen again sit 11th this time, having just appointed Kevin Horlock as their new manager.

It's a blustery morning with spasmodic rain as I join the M6 at Tabley, with traffic freely moving and providing more unusual numberplates - MOO53, the slightly (wh)iffy SK1.1NKS and the very clever H20 PTP - Pete The Pipe, unsurprisingly a plumber !! And a private car with the sticker 'How's My Driving ? Tel: 0800 F*CKU' ....

Then onto 'Smart' Motorway, 26 more miserable months of roadworks and goodness only knows how more deaths, and those red distracting bridge signs. This time Yarnfield Lane catches my eye, as two of the three clubs that play there - Stone Dominoes and Tunstall Town - have folded this season.

Past that Jolly Good Storage place, onto the M5 and still speed restrictions at Oldbury due to viaduct and technology testing. With a backcloth of the Sutton Coldfield TV mast and council tower blocks, the West Midlands is not so much Black Country as presenting a visage of fade to grey....

The M42, then joining the A441 before cutting back on myself to Redditch Road and the village of Alvechurch with The Swan, The Red Lion, Tran's Chinese takeway, a Co-op and not much else. The football club is on the right, free parking and a helpful Safety Officer who directs me to a spot for an easy and immediate exit.

Two prehistoric tractors in the car park, and after paying £10 admission, an even older caravan inside the ground - 201 is today's attendance, with two pockets of Marketmen support.

Inside Lye Meadow a narrow walkway surrounds the pitch which has a pronounced slope from left to right, the main stand on the left, a mix of red, black and yellow seats, alongside which there is a modern office and taped off grass banks. At the top end is a crumbling, weed infested covered terrace.

To the right is a warm up area and Portakabin with a 'Ministry of Defence Guard Service' sign that houses the filthiest and darkest toilets I have ever seen at a football ground. The press box and adjoining clubhouse and bar are a different matter altogether, although I can't speak for the burger bar.

I take my place in the main stand, out of the wind, and enjoying glorious views of the Worcestershire countryside. Pre match is dominated by Needham's number 5, Jordao Da Encarnacao Tackey Diogo (him again !!), warming up in a pair of ear rings, which thankfully are removed for the game. Church are in gold and black, with a hint of red, no number 6, (16 instead), and their goal keeper in a lurid salmon number; Market are in change navy.

Within the first 30 seconds Callum Page is through one on one for the Marketmen, but scuffs his shot beyond Matthew Sargeant's post. Barely thirty seconds later, at the opposite end, Marcus Garnham magnificently tips over Ryan Winwood's volley and then makes a reaction save from the corner.

Both sides struggle with a pudding of a pitch that's heavy, cutting up and full of divots. The Church shade matters, a corner from Kevin Da Veiga Monteiro catches on the wind and lands on top of the crossbar. Then Mitch Botfield seizes on a Needham mistake, pinching possession and bearing down on Garnham, but the pitch slows him up and his effort is blocked.

The Marketmen have been neat and tidy without any real penetration, but that changes in the final five minutes of the half. On 41 minutes a ball into the Church box is collected by Adam Mills, and he pulls it back for Page to stroke it into the corner. A minute later Sargeant does extremely well to turn over Craig Parker's well struck shot.

In the second period Needham take control with Parker spurning four clear chances. Alvechurch's tactics of only one attacker (Connor Deards) in the penalty box makes it easy for the Marketmen to defend; it is only when a second forward, Nehemia Zazi, is introduced from the bench that they begin to carry a threat.

With 13 minutes to go Deards cuts inside and his vicious swerving shot smacks against the crossbar. The Marketmen respond with Luke Ingram heading narrowly wide and substitute Jose Santa De La Paz (Santa to his friends !) hitting the side netting.

On 87 minutes Garnham tips over Botfield's effort and, whilst the ball is being retrieved, bizarrely two more are kicked on to the pitch by the home bench. Three balls, 'Ballfest' is the comment from the Needham fan next to me, but only one is required for the corner, which produces a scramble and a final touch from four yards from Deards for the equaliser.

When, 60 seconds later, two goal line clearances prevent Ingram from restoring the Marketmen's lead you wonder whether Church can improvise an improbable home victory. Sadly, when you're down amongst the dead men, luck tends to desert you, and so it proves.... In the third and final minute of stoppage time the ball falls to Needham's Mills and his left footed 25 yard strike is heavily deflected beyond the despairing dive of Sargeant to land in the net.

The home side are stunned and visibly deflated. Church adopt, for the final seconds, from the restart a Hail Mary 1-0-9 formation - sadly their prayers are not answered...  The Marketmen depart to Suffolk with a 2-1 victory and the three points, whilst at the same time enhancing their status as credible play off contenders.

Four Minute Blitz Is All The Marketmen Need - Reds 'Dead In A Ditch' !!

And so to the TRICO Stadium, aka The Valley, on Bromsgrove Road, Redditch in Worcestershire for a Southern Premier Central clash between Redditch United and Needham Market.

The Reds are one of the longest-established football clubs in the Midlands, starting out as Redditch Town in the Birmingham Combination League in 1891 and being crowned first ever winners of the Worcestershire Senior Cup in 1894. The club prospered as Redditch in the 1930s and again 20 years later when they were Birmingham Combination champions in 1952 and 1955.

In 1971, United was added to the name and the club reached the first round of the FA Cup for the first time ever, with a record crowd of 4,500 rammed into the Valley Stadium to see the Reds draw 1-1 with Division Four side Peterborough United, before losing 6-0 in the replay.

The following season The Reds joined the Southern League and were promoted to the Premier Division at the end of the 1975-76 campaign, having scored more than 100 goals in the process.

They were a founder member of the Alliance Premier League at the start of 1979/80 but struggled and finished bottom in their only top flight season, before plying their trade in the Southern League for more than 20 years, enjoying another run to the first round of the FA Cup in 1989 before losing 3-1 to Conference side Merthyr Tydfil in front of a sell-out crowd. United then made headlines at the end of the 1997-98 season, playing nine games in nine days due to a backlog of fixtures brought about by the poor weather.

At the end of the 2003/04 season, the Reds clinched an historic double promotion under the guidance of manager Rod Brown. Having secured the Southern League Western Division, the club then won two play-off matches to secure a place in the newly formed Conference North where they stayed for seven seasons.

Relegation to the Southern League in 2011 followed, with an unsuccessful play-off campaign in 2014/15, the club finishing runners-up only to lose out to neighbours Leamington. Redditch finished 15th (of 22) last term, but currently prop up the table with a mere 9 points from 27 games, with the appointment of Duane Darby as manager having little effect - as a 15 match losing run, and a 6-0 drubbing at The Trawlers of Lowestoft Town last weekend and a 7-1 roasting at The Rouslers of Bromsgrove Sporting on Tuesday, bears testimony.

Although records show the existence of a Needham Market Football Club during the late 1890s, the modern club was officially established in 1919. They joined the Ipswich & District League and subsequently won Division Two A in 1932–33 and after World War II captured the Division Two title in 1946–47 before going on to win Division One in 1952–53. 

Following relegation in 1984, in 1986–87 the Marketmen were Division One runners-up, earning promotion back to the Senior Division.  In 1996 the club were Senior Division champions, and were promoted to Division One of the Jewson (then Ridgeon and now Thurlow Nunn) Eastern Counties League. They were Division One runners-up in 2004/05 and were promoted to the Premier Division. In 2006–07 the club won the East Anglian Cup, before going on to finish as runners-up in the Premier Division and winning the League Challenge Cup and the Suffolk Premier Cup in 2007–08, as well as reaching the semi-finals of the FA Vase, losing 4–2 on aggregate to Kirkham & Wesham (now AFC Fylde).

The 2009–10 season saw Needham Market win the Premier Division title and the League Cup double, earning promotion to Division One North of the Isthmian League. In their first season in Division One, Needham finished as runners-up, qualifying for the promotion play-offs, but losing 3–1 at home to Brentwood Town. The following season the club finished third, again reaching the play-offs, but lost 1–0 to Enfield Town. They qualified for the play-offs for a third time after finishing fifth in 2014, this time losing 1–0 to Witham Town. Finally the Marketmen went on to win the division in 2015, earning promotion to the Premier Division. In 2017 they won the Suffolk Premier Cup for a second time.

Needham Market were transferred to the Premier Central division of the Southern League at the end of the 2017/18 season as part of the restructuring of the non-League pyramid. After a bright start, the visitors from Bloomfields, named after former player and club stalwart of 70 years Derrick Bloomfield, finished 11th last term - the Marketmen sit 15th this time.

Roadworks on Chester Road cause chaos and the dreary weather is matched by the traffic - but that allows me to identify car registrations, and today it's spot the profession: R3V MU (complete with dog collar !), WE11DER and BA 57EAM. Then I hit the M6 and smart motorway, a fleet of lorries and an army of workers, with signs promising 28 more months of misery... all before smart motorways are scrapped due to safety concerns.

To the M5 and StorageBase, 'Jolly good storage rooms', and then more speed restrictions due to Oldbury Viaduct works and technology testing. Off at junction 4 to the A38, bypassing Lickey End and working my way through congestion at The Forest in Bromsgrove.

Then the A448 and Catshill, Finstall, Webheath, Headless Cross, Foxlydiate and Pitcher Oak Wood, the West Midlands cloaked in clouds of grey, before hitting the Bromsgrove Road. Beyond the Cricket & Hockey Club and I park up at Vicarage Crescent, refusing to pay the £2 car park charge introduced this month, and then it's a quick walk via Windmill Nursery and Terry's Playing Fields to the appropriately named The Valley, nestling in a dip and surrounded by woodland and housing.

£11 in and the stadium is dominated by the Comline Stand, the all blue (?) seater grandstand, spectators downstairs, boardroom, bar and function room upstairs. The supporters shop and Reds Café are open alongside, but the Tuck Shop and toilets are closed; two Portakabins are situated on the other side.

To my right is the Sallie Swan Stand, covered steep terracing with a tarmacked area to the front. Next is the Baylis & Harding Stand, 2 rows housing 50 black seats and more covered terracing, and where, despite a dismal crowd of 126 (compared to 1075 down the road at Bromsgrove), there is plenty of vocal support... and protest at the club's current predicament. In front of the stand are 12 (yes 12 !!) sets of goalposts and behind is the Kingfisher Shopping Centre (check the club badge !!). Up top is a flat standing area.

Redditch are in red and black stripes, Needham in navy with yellow trim, on the 3G pitch, whilst the linesman on the opposite is dreadlocked and goes by the name of Justice Jacobs.

The Reds make a bright start, but it's not long before the Marketmen take charge. On ten minutes an incisive move down the left sees Callum Page play in Adam Mills and his precise shot hits the inside of the post and bounces out. Mills, with a header, and Page, with a 20 yard shot, both go close in the next attacks. Then in four mad minutes Needham plunder three goals....

On 27 a great run down the left, a fine low cross from Mills, Page dummies and Craig Parker tucks the ball into the bottom left corner. Two minutes later Parker's shot is well saved by Reds' keeper Kieran Boucher but William Hunt slots home the rebound. Then on 31 a low cutback from Joe Marsden on the right and Page scores in the same corner.

Marsden hits the post just before half time, with Redditch's only response a long range effort from Josh Endall straight at Finlay Shorten; 3-0 to the Marketmen at the break.

Half time sees United introduce substitute Hostidio Santos (but not number 12 Ben Stokes, who may have other priorities....) but, in truth, the second period is anything but hostile, more docile verging on drab.

Akeal Rehman at least makes Shorten work for his first ever clean sheet, and a flurry of substitutions brings the exotically named Jordao Da Encarnacao Tackey Diogo onto the field for Market, who rarely move into second gear, believing (correctly) the job is done.

The Marketmen's best moment is Hunt's dink over a defender and then a volley wide, before in the final minute Marsden hits the post again; the referee has seen enough and, with mist shrouding The Valley, plays no stoppage time to conclude a straightforward 3-0 Marketmen victory.

Hebburn Is A Place On Earth - And In The Last 16 !!

And so to the Syncreon Arena, aka Rivacre Park, for an FA Vase 4th round, last 32, clash between Vauxhall Motors and Hebburn Town.

Vauxhall Motors FC was founded in 1963, shortly after the opening of the Vauxhall car plant in Ellesmere Port. Initially playing, and then outgrowing, the Ellesmere Port League and the Wirral Combination, the Motormen moved to the West Cheshire League, winning the title in 1986.

The club relocated from the company owned Hooton Park to Rivacre Park in 1987 and that coincided with a successful application to join the North West Counties Football League - Division Two won in their first season. Despite finishing fifth in Division One the year after the club's board decided to take Motors back to the West Cheshire League.

Rejoining the NWCFL in 1994, the Motormen again immediately won the Division Two title, and in 2000 were Division One champions to move up to the Northern Premier League Division One.

As runners up in their inaugural season Vauxhall climbed to the Northern Premier League Premier, and, after beating QPR 1-0 in the FA Cup, took their place in the Conference North in 2004.

Despite finishing 21st in 2008, the liquidation of Nuneaton Borough and expulsion of Boston United provided a reprieve, and that was repeated in 2010 when a 20th place finish was obviated by Farsley Celtic's resignation and Northwich Victoria's forced relegation due to financial reasons.

However in March 2014 the club announced its intention to withdraw from the Conference North due to 'ever increasing costs' - I recall watching a game that season, the rain hosing down, the Motormen thrashing an on the way down Histon 4-0, and a crowd of 140....at Step Two.

And so to a third stint in the West Cheshire League, where the club finished runners up in 2018 and met the criteria to join the expanded NWCFL Division One South, where they finished runners up to Rylands last term - this time they are perched atop the division.

Hebburn Town FC was founded in 1912 as a works team for the Reyrolles engineering company. Playing under the company name, they joined Division Two of the Jarrow and District Junior League. After World War I they joined the South Shields Combination League, before switching to the Tyneside Combination in 1923. They then moved to the Tyneside League in 1927, and were league champions in 1938–39. During World War II they enlisted in the Northern Combination in 1941, and after winning the Durham Challenge Cup in 1943, they won the league title the following season. The Hornets then moved to the North Eastern League for the 1944–45 season, before returning to the Northern Combination in 1945. The club remained in the Combination until rejoining a relaunched North Eastern League in 1959.

In 1960 Reyrolles transferred to the Wearside League and were league champions in 1967. In 1986 the club was renamed Hebburn Reyrolles, before changing their name to Hebburn in 1988. In 1989 they climbed up to Division Two of the Northern League, and after finishing fourth in 1992, they were promoted to Division One. Hebburn were relegated back to Division Two in 1995 due to ground grading issues. Subsequently promoted in 2000, The Hornets then adopted their current name.

Relegation the year after, promotion in 2012, another relegation in 2014 and promotion back to the top tier in 2018 and then finishing runners up in Division One last time. The visitors from the Energy Check Sports Ground currently sit second this time, albeit having played 25, and hence considerably more than their challengers, of their 38 league games.

Past queuing traffic on the opposite carriageway, spectators trying to reach Old Trafford for the relegation six pointer between Manchester United and Norwich City, I spot numberplates SHA40W (sadly not on a Rolls Royce !) and PA55 RAP (driving school) and a liveried van 'Posh n Barks' (dog grooming). Thereafter the M56, Stanlow flaring, belching fumes and the wind turbines in overdrive.

Onto the M53, beyond Cheshire Oaks Designer Outlet and off at Junction 7 Netherpool and then right into Rivacre Road and the stadium is on the left amidst a new housing estate. There's a new fitness centre alongside with plenty of parking - although I avoid grass and mud....

£5 in, a good crowd of 175 including 2 coachfuls of Hornets' supporters, with the near end supporting the changing rooms, an Everton Football College static trailer and the vast modern Vauxhall Sports Club. To my right is the 350 all seater main grandstand, behind which are several all weather pitches, and the source of many two balls on the pitch this afternoon !!

Also on this side is the club shop, reopened after storm damage to the roof, and offices, whilst at the top end is a walkway, backed by trees and the golf course. On the left is a covered terrace, split in two to allow access to a rugby pitch and beyond which is the M53 and the Vauxhall plant. The terrace is dedicated in honour of Mark Pearson, who collapsed and died on 21.9.99 aged 34, whilst playing against Northwich Victoria.

The Motormen are in white and navy, with keeper Ryan Crump in orange and his shirt sponsored by Lookers, whilst his team mates all sport Syncreon on their shirts. The Hornets, naturally, are in yellow and black, with NE31 stitched into the back of their shirts; the stadium announcer gives up, at the second attempt, at pronouncing Hebburn substitute Angelos Eleftheriadis.... who fortunately doesn't play any further part in this afternoon's proceedings !

With just over a minute on the clock, the Hornets' Michael McKeown plays in ex Darlington striker Graeme Armstrong, who is clearly being tugged back. Despite this he manages to lay the ball off to Olli Martin on the left flank, and he finishes gloriously, curling it into the bottom right corner. The referee then comes over to the Hebburn bench to tell them he would have brought play back and issued a red card if there had been no advantage. In the aftermath Vauxhall's Tom Mitchell is booked for his ineffectual attempt at a professional foul.

Thereafter the strong cross wind (but not the forecast heavy rain) takes centre stage and the tie becomes a war of attrition. For the Motormen, Joe Heath shoots, but it's easy for glovesman Mark Foden, who later drops a Glenn Rule free kick, causing consternation.

Indeed the only other piece of entertainment comes when the ball, not for the first time, goes into touch and is headed by a Hornets' fan. The ball goes sideways but the fan still feels pretty pleased with himself, and his pint is unspilt !! Then, strangely, the half time draw is announced five minutes before half time.....

The second half is marginally better with Hebburn having the first opportunity; Thomas Potter's glorious cross sees an unmarked Martin head down and well wide - anything but glorious this time.... Rule puts a free kick over the bar for Vauxhall.

Then the Hornets try to sting the Motormen by scoring the all important second goal. McKeown has a long range effort well turned aside by Crump, Armstrong can't quite get his foot round another effort that trickles through, and finally Crump excels himself, diving to keep out Potter's 20 yard drive.

Mitchell has a free header for the Motormen, disappointingly wide, and then substitute Ben Holmes has his free kick tipped over by Foden. There is a late scare as a Vauxhall cross zips over, but with no final touch, to end a match where I was, in the end, hoping that extra time wouldn't happen..... Hebburn go into the last 16 and an away tie at the last surviving NWCFL team, Longridge Town.