Gauling - Pikes Gutted !!

And so to North Yorkshire and another lengthy trip to watch the Northern Premier League Division One North West match between Pickering Town and Clitheroe.

Pickering Town FC, the hosts from Mill Lane with their slightly, er, ‘unusual’ badge (below), was formed in 1888, the same year the Football League was founded. The Pikes for many years competed in the local Scarborough and York Leagues, before stepping up to the Yorkshire League in 1972.

The club became founder members of the Northern Counties East League in 1982 when the Yorkshire and Midlands Central Leagues merged. The Pikes' best finish was as runners up in the Premier Division in 1992/93, losing out to Spennymoor United on goal difference.

1998/99 was a terrible season as, following a 1-11 walloping by Bedlington Terriers in the FA Cup, the Pikes were relegated. Promoted back in 2001 Pickering reached the FA Vase quarter finals in the 2005/06 season, losing out to eventual winners, the Dabbers of Nantwich Town.

In 2017/18 the Pikes finished as runners up again (to Pontefract Collieries) and moved up to the North West Counties Division One East, finishing 16th from 20 in their first season at this level, and then being moved to the renamed Division One North West. This season they currently lie bottom with four points from ten games - largely due to seven successive league defeats away from home and a crippling injury list.

And so to the visitors from Shawbridge, Clitheroe FC from the Ribble Valley. 

The Blues were formed in 1877 as Clitheroe Central at the Swan Hotel in Castle Street, initially playing in local leagues, before moving to the Lancashire Combination in 1903 and dropping Central from their name.

They became founder members of the North West Counties Football League in 1982, and soon after won 3rd, 2nd and 1st divisions in consecutive seasons. FA Vase finalists in the 1995/96 season, they won the 2003/04 championship to reach their current level at Step 4. Last season saw a hugely disappointing 18th position from 20, but this term they stand in 9th place.

Through the M60 and another escort vehicle for two RTH Lubbers lorries carrying massive electrical cable bobbins, numberplates SU5 8ABY, AD10S SU, CAG3E and, surprised this got through, K11LGB, to the M62 Summit shrouded in mist and that 'dilapidated' farm bisecting the motorway. Then the M1 and A1(M) before turning onto the A64 and John Smiths Brewery at Tadcaster, York racecourse, the Four Alls pub and flooded fields.

Then Kushtys Dessert Parlour at Flaxton and a turn onto the A169 by the Eden Camp Prisoner of War Museum, including a replica WWII fighter plane, at Malton before avoiding the villages of Espersykes, Kirby Misperton and Huttons Ambo and then arriving at Pickering Recreation Club on the outskirts of the town.

Past Piggies In The Middle, up Smiddy Gate with the St Peter & St Paul Church lording it over the town, then the Hares and Hedgerows Gallery, the Wonky Pitcher Cellar and onwards to the 13th century castle. After the Kirk Theatre and Primitive Methodist Chapel I reach the North Yorkshire Moors Railway with its fish belly rails and Black Five 5428 Eric Treacy on duty, and all ready for next week's 'Railway in Wartime' celebration - but at £31 return to Whitby I'm going to stick with the football !!

So back to Mill Lane and a three sided ground adjoining the cricket pitch; indeed the cricket scoreboard is actually in the interlocking fenced off football stadium.... £7 in, with a slightly disappointing crowd of 152 including a decent contingent from Clitheroe.

At the top end is the old covered all seater stand, strangely with red seats, and the newer grandstand, The Tony Dunning Stand 2010, is on the popular side by the touchline facing a pronounced dip in the pitch, whilst the near end hosts covered terracing in the corner leading to the clubhouse and changing rooms. Under an overcast sky, with the sun making intermittent appearances, The Pikes are in all blue with white trim, and Clitheroe (or according to the teamsheet Cleethorpes !!) play in a 'wine' strip - think burgundy or claret ☺

Within three minutes Craig Carney has breached a seriously malfunctioning home offside trap but Harrison Foulkes saves well; in response Sam Cable flashes a header wide for the Pikes. Clitheroe look the likelier but it's Pickering who take the lead on 20 minutes, with Jackson Jowett's tenacity, pace and then lay off to Cable who sidefoots hard into the net. Six minutes later Jowett's corner finds Matty Turnbull unmarked at the far post and he heads the ball into the roof of the net for 2-0.

The match is transformed four minutes before the break by a ridiculous decision from match referee Gary Fletcher-Tindall. Conor Gaul, for the Blues, stumbles in the box, and a penalty is given. Denny Ingram, the Pikes' manager, is vociferous in his condemnation of the decision 'Ref, that is f*cking sh*t - embarrassing' - the rest of us are incredulous. Gaul gets up, waits for Foulkes to commit himself, and rolls the ball into the opposite corner; shortly after Oliver Wood misses badly with a header for Clitheroe which would have tied things up at the interval.

Into the second period and Wood misses dreadfully from within the six yard box and shortly after is hooked. For the Pikes Cable tees up Jack Simpson with Connor King palming the ball away.

Then, with the Pikes' defence seemingly panicking every time the ball approaches their goal, Mr Fletcher-Tindall, who has spent much of the second half slavishly deciding where throw ins should be taken, decides to take centre stage again. Thirteen minutes to go, a three way aerial battle and the contentious decision is that Owen Watkinson, who has spent most of the afternoon flinging himself to the ground, has been fouled in the D outside the penalty box. Stupid Boy !! Gaul composes himself and then floats the ball over the wall into the top corner for parity at 2-2. 'Feed The Noodle And He Will Score' is the chant from the Clitheroe supporters....

Nothing contentious about the winner five minutes later. Blues' sub Terry Cummings jinks his way across the Pikes' back line and shoots low into the far corner beyond Foulkes and Clitheroe lead 3-2. That leads to a spiteful final few minutes littered with free kicks, injuries, yellow cards and melees but Clitheroe hang on and move up one place, whilst the Pikes remain bottom of the pool.

Reds Hot - Rams To The Slaughter !

And so a lengthy journey to West Cumbria and a first ever visit to Workington for the Northern Premier League Division One North West clash between Workington AFC and Ramsbottom United.

Football in Workington has a very long history. Close by and adjacent to Borough Park, home of Workington AFC, the folk game of "Uppies and Downies" is still an annual event. There are records about the game from 20 April 1775 in the Cumbrian Pacquet which is one of the earliest reports of a football match ever.

Association football was introduced to Workington in the 1860s and became more popular when a group of 1,500 steel workers migrated to the town from Dronfield. They were workers of the Charles Cammel and Co steel works that arrived in the town in 1884. 'Dronnies', as the people of Workington called the newcomers, formed Workington AFC in 1888.

The original Workington AFC was one of the founder members of the Cumberland  Association League in 1888 and played at Lonsdale Park. In 1894 they moved to the Cumberland Senior League, and in 1901 joined the Lancashire League. However, the league closed two seasons later, and they returned to the Cumberland Senior League. In 1904 the club was admitted to the Lancashire Combination, but in 1910-11 season they decided to economise and join the North Eastern League. However, after only one season, the club folded.

The new Workington AFC was born in 1921 and immediately joined the North Eastern League. During the 1933–34 season, the club managed its best ever FA Cup performance, reaching the 4th round, before losing to Preston North End. Later in the decade, the club moved to its present home, Borough Park. In 1951 the club was voted into the Football League, replacing New Brighton.

The first season in the Football League was a sign of things to come - rock bottom and only improving by one place the season after. But things improved - the club was managed by Bill Shankly, played the Busby Babes in the third round of the FA Cup a month before the Munich disaster, reached the League Cup quarter finals twice and was promoted to the Third Division in 1964.

However relegation in 1967 was the start of a lengthy decline; in 1974 and 1975 the team finished next to bottom, and in 1976 Workington propped up the league. This was replicated the season after, in a campaign with only four wins, and The Reds were voted out of the Football League, replaced by Wimbledon, being the penultimate team to fail to gain re-election (Southport were the last in the year after).

The club dropped into the Northern Premier League with further relegations to Division One in 1988 and the North West Counties in 1998. However the title was won the following season concluding with a final 14 game winning streak and Workington were promoted to the Conference North in 2005.

After two unsuccessful play offs the Reds were relegated back to the Northern Premier League in 2011 and last time out finished 21st out of 21, following North Ferriby's liquidation, and were demoted to Division One North West.

Rammy United were founded in 1966 and in true fairy tale fashion, one of its founders, Harry Williams had a stint as manager and is still now the chairman 53 years on. He has overseen the move from a parks pitch to a stadium named after him in 2010/11 (without his knowledge at the time). The ground adjoins Ramsbottom Cricket Club and the East Lancashire Railway, and has flooded badly several times when the adjacent River Irwell has burst its banks.

The Rams started out in the Bury Amateur League before moving to the Bolton Combination in 1969. They stayed there for 20 years until they transferred to the Manchester League. A successful application to join the North West Counties Football League followed in 1995.

Williams' bold appointment of joint managers, Bernard Morley and Antony Johnson (subsequently of Salford City fame) in 2009/10, at the ages of 26 and 25, raised eyebrows but paid off with promotion to the Northern Premier League Division One North in 2012 and after a dreadful start to the 2013/14 season, the Rams reached the play offs in fifth place on the last day of the season and then won both away games to be promoted to non-league's third tier for the first time.

United were relegated for the first time ever in 2016 but reached the FA Trophy 3rd Round Proper last season, beating Workington en route and holding eventual winners AFC Fylde to a 5-5 draw before losing the replay. The Rams finished fifth last term but lost out in the play offs semi final to Radcliffe who were ultimately promoted.

So on a miserable Saturday morning a brief walk on the tow path of the Bridgewater Canal and more narrowboats at rest - 'By Ecc', 'Pond Skater' and 'Molly Roger'. Then the M56 before joining the M6 and marvelling at some imbecilic driving - heavy rain, dreadful visibility so no lights but put them on when it all clears... Some odd numberplates too - S1T UP, S5 OWNR (yes an Audi and a driver clearly with more money than sense), L11RGY and, incredibly, DOD6Y - say no more....

Before Preston it's just possible to make out in an adjoining field a plastic giraffe stood atop a shipping container advertising South Planks - bizarre !! Then as I approach Lancaster the weather clears and the cathedral comes into view. Shap Summit and signs for Ullswater Steamers and an Alpaca Centre plus some stunning views of the Cumbrian countryside.

I bypass Keswick, travelling alongside the huge Bassenthwaite lake and, reluctantly, miss out on this weekend's Cockermouth Food Festival. Through Threlkeld and Scales, the landscape littered with wind turbines, the A66 takes me into Workington, past the Helena Thompson Museum.

Then the Washington Square shopping centre, Henry Bessemer Picture Theatre (Wetherspoons), the Woolly Mammoth (wool, knitting and baby items - the stress being on Mam), The Pink Banana (tattoos !!) and The Mad Scientist (cocktail bar - what else ?). This brings me to the railway station, a right turn and just round the corner is Borough Park; I park at Tesco across the road.

Borough Park has been well maintained from its League days, although capacity has been reduced to 3,101. £10 at the gate via the Black Path and inside steep banks of terracing, covered in the near corner, before I reach the main covered grandstand, behind which is the River Derwent. Across the way is the bar and a smaller covered stand, behind the dugouts, specifically for directors and sponsors; beyond is the A597, Tesco and Derwent Park, home of Workington Town RLFC.

The teams enter to the background of the Z Cars theme music, Workington, naturally, in all red and Rammy in change white shirts and purple shorts and socks. Glorious sunshine, in stark contrast to the earlier driving rain, and a moderate breeze, a female referee (who does very well) and a healthy crowd of 469 await, in Reds' manager Danny Grainger's words 'a six pointer': Workington are top, the Rams sixth seven points behind but with four games in hand.

It's an inauspicious start for the Rams as keeper Tom Stewart can't make his mind up to catch or punch and ends up fumbling and then handling outside the box. The free kick comes to naught but on 6 minutes Reds' Dave Symington races down the left flank and cuts the ball back to Scott Allison, drawing a decent save from Stewart, but the ball falls to Brad Carroll who can't miss and Workington lead 1-0.

It's one way traffic thereafter as the Reds play some gorgeous football; little surprise then that on 17 minutes Allison controls the ball, back heels and then curls it left footed into the bottom corner magnificently for 2-0. His 100th goal for the club and one to savour.

Chances come and go and there's a penalty shout before a through ball plays in Charlie Bowman and he finishes emphatically to make it 3-0 on 29 minutes. Ten minutes later Symington again sprints down the touchline and this time chooses to go it alone, ending with a drilled shot across Stewart to make it four.

Three minutes later Rammy make their only contribution to the half. Nic Evangelinos picks up a loose clearance and squares to Jamie Rother who gambles on the near post and the net ripples beyond Jim Atkinson to leave it 4-1 at the break.

A triple substitution by the Rams at the break as they change to a back three - their largely anonymous number nine Anointed Chukwu is one of those sacrificed. It matters little as the Reds continue to fashion chances, in particular Allison's wayward shot, and have a clearer penalty shout.

Evangelinos scuffs just wide in a rare Ramsbottom attack and they come even closer on 75 minutes from a corner with a Workington defender diverting the ball onto the goalframe and the follow up cleared off the line.

This seems to galvanise the Reds and three minutes afterwards sub Brad Hubbold somehow comes off best against three Rams, and plays in fellow sub Nathan Waterson who scores his first ever goal with aplomb.

Waterson and Allison contrive to spurn further gilt edged chances to leave it 5-1 as the referee blows her whistle for full time. 'Best I've seen them play in years' is one comment as the Workington faithful depart. Vintage Red(s) indeed......

Fed Up Then Down - Dun Stunned As Linnets Get Back On Song !

So to the UTS Stadium and another lengthy trip for me and today's visitors as Dunston FC take on Runcorn Linnets in the Northern Premier League Division One North West - again hardly a strong advertisement for regional football. The Linnets' website records a 12 hour round trip after the match....

The home club was established as a works team by John Thompson and other HMSO employees in 1975 as Whickham Sports FC, playing at Longbenton. Sports started in the Newcastle City Amateur League, before moving up to the Northern Amateur League.

A league and cup double was won in 1978 and, on the strength of this early success, the team moved to their current home at Wellington Road. Shortly after, in 1980, the side joined the Northern Combination and was then renamed Dunston Mechanics FC in 1982.

1986/87 saw the club win another league and cup double, with a further name change to Dunston Federation Brewery as part of a sponsorship deal, and a move up to the Wearside League. Back to back titles in 1989 and 1990 preceded a move to the Northern League in 1991.

League and cup doubles were achieved in 2003/04 and 2004/05, and in 2007 the club name changed once more to Dunston Federation FC after the brewery was bought by Scottish & Newcastle and sponsorship ceased.

A new sponsorship deal in 2009 with UTS (Utility Technology Services) saw the club rechristened Dunston UTS, and UTS won the FA Vase in 2011/12 beating West Auckland Town 2-0 at Wembley.

Last time out Dunston were Northern League Division One champions, finishing 17 points clear. The Fed were thus promoted to the Northern Premier League Division One North West, but were forced to remove UTS from the club name, due to league rules prohibiting advertising in the team name. 

The away side started as Highfield and Camden Tanneries Recreation Club in 1918. Renamed as Runcorn FC the Linnets won the Cheshire County League in its first season, and enjoyed a League and Cup double in 1937. In 1968 the club became founder members of the Northern Premier League, winning it twice, and the pinnacle was the Alliance Premier League title in 1982.

During the 1993/94 season the Linnets' stadium at Canal Street nearly fell apart. A perimeter wall collapsed during a cup game with Hull City, the roof blew off one stand and the main stand was destroyed by fire. This crippled the club and relegation, for the first time ever, followed.

In 2000 Canal Street was sold, with the club moving to the Halton Stadium at Widnes, and rebranding as Runcorn FC Halton. However the Linnets' precarious financial position forced a move out of the Halton Stadium, first to Southport's Haig Avenue and then to Prescot Cables' Valerie Park. Unable to pay players' wages the club finished bottom, suffered a second successive relegation and in 2006 resigned from the league and ceased activity.

Runcorn Linnets FC was formed on 28 April 2006 at the spiritual home of Canal Street in the Quayside function rooms next to the Linnets Park housing estate. The new club joined Division 2 of the North West Counties Football League and ground shared at Witton Albion's Wincham Park. The Linnets were promoted as runners up in their first season to Division 1 (now Premier Division), missing out on the title on goal difference.

The club moved to its new stadium on Murdishaw Avenue in 2010 at the end of its R2R (Return 2 Runcorn) project. The following six seasons all saw top six finishes, including three consecutive second places - but the NWCFL Challenge Cup was won in 2013.

After three consecutive seasons of finishing runners-up, Runcorn finished fourth in the 2016/17 season, which was their lowest in four years. In the 2017/18 season, Runcorn Linnets finished the season in first, four points ahead of second placed Widnes, who also gained promotion. Runcorn also went on to have the highest number of goals scored and the fewest goals conceded. This meant a first ever promotion to a division which was re-named the Northern Premier League Division One West (now North West) - a creditable 6th place was achieved in the first campaign. Both sides have one win, one draw and one defeat in the league thus far.

So a swift sortie down Bridgewater Canal with barges 'Juschillin', 'Moor to Life', 'Thingummybob' and 'Phoenix - Rising from the Hashish' before those TOILETORIES. ELCTRICAL signs....

Then a wry smile as a Ford Transit passes, Van Solo emblazoned above the driver's cab, and an even wryer smile at a pub sign 'Education is important, but beer is importanter' attributed to William Shakesbeer....

The M60 and M62 provide numberplates A11 URS and WHII NOT but much of the early journey to the M62 Summit, Scammonden Reservoir, Windy Hill, that farm in the middle of the motorway and Rakehead Viaduct is invisible, such is the ferocity of the rain and the swirling mist. Over the Pennines the weather improves but the temperature fluctuates wildly between 13 and 20C.

Overtaking a convoy of 3 cranes assisted by an Abnormal Load Escort it's onto the M1 then the A1(M) with the weather taking another turn for the worse at Wetherby but improving by Old Mother Shipton's Cave. Bypassing Ripon, Bedale, the giant Heck factory, Catterick, Scotch Corner it's on to Durham, the Riverside and the Angel of the North, with some stunning views of North Yorkshire, Teesside and Tyneside in the sunshine, before I turn off at junction 70 of the A1.

Right onto Dunston Road and the UTS Stadium is on the corner at the Wellington Road junction; a small car park is already full so I park again Heed First, a hair stylists naturally !! Turnstiles at both ends and £7 in for a crowd of 281, including a healthy Linnets contingent - not bad considering the Toon and Gateshead are both at home this afternoon.

Inside the near end holds the snap shed, clubhouse and changing rooms and behind is a Secure Store warehouse. To the right is The Tommy Cooney Stand, covered terracing, whilst the top end is open and backed by trees and housing. And on the left is the main stand with 20 tip up seats for spectators, but 24 for directors and officials, and eight wooden bench rows either side of the press box.

This is another game where a fierce crosswind causes mayhem. It's a wind strong enough to cause havoc with the six Runcorn Linnets flags, including the Left Side Ultras, but barely disturbing the two Dunston banners, and a wind strong enough to blow pensioner Bill's yellow Linnet cap off his head - but not out of the ground this week....wisely he refrains from replacing the cap and tucks it into his bag.

The Fed are in royal blue with white trim, their keeper in all orange, whilst the Linnets are in yellow and green hoops, their shotstopper in sky blue and grey.

Linnets start the better but both sides struggle with the blustery conditions. However it's the Fed who take the lead on 17 minutes; a training ground move free kick from Liam Marrs is cut back by Mark Fitzpatrick and Luke Page sidefoots home as Runcorn's defence switches off.

Seven minutes later Dunston's Michael Pearson is tripped in the area, and Fitzpatrick converts the penalty for 2-0. Within a minute Linnets lose possession and Cedwyn Scott pirouettes on the 18 yard box before slotting home to make it 3-0 to the Fed on 25 minutes.

A shellshocked Linnets side fight back however; six minutes later Louis Corrigan's free kick is headed in at the far post by Declan McGivern. And a minute before half time Ryan Gibson is given time and space in the box to smash home at the second attempt to make it 3-2 at the break.

The second period is all Runcorn, Paul Shanley nodding over from a free header, and Connor McCarthy arcing wide from a one on one. Moments later he curls over the bar from 18 yards prompting my neighbour to comment 'Getting closer'...

And so it proves, with third time lucky as Ryan Wade's gorgeous cross is met with a firm McCarthy header planted into the bottom corner to make it 3-3 with twenty minutes to go; the yellow and green army behind the goal go berserk.

Both sides go for the win but Fed fashion the better chances, with Scott lobbing onto the top of the net, and then in injury time outpacing his marker and seeing his shot hit the trailing leg of Linnets' keeper Bayleigh Passant and smuggled clear. 3-3 at the finish - thrilling stuff !!

Pewits Not On Song - Clinical United Take The Derby Spoils !!

And so to a hot and very sunny August Bank Holiday and a Yorkshire derby in the North West Counties Division One North between Emley AFC and Golcar United at the Fantastic Media Welfare Ground on Upper Lane.

The original Emley club, formed in 1903, had been members of the Yorkshire League and Northern Counties East League, before winning promotion to the Northern Premier League in 1989. In 2000, new ground grading regulations introduced by the NPL forced Emley to relocate to Belle Vue in Wakefield. In 2002 the club was renamed Wakefield & Emley, and when the reserve team was disbanded in 2005, supporters of the original club decided to establish a new club based in Emley under the name A.F.C. Emley at the Welfare Ground. The following year Wakefield & Emley was renamed Wakefield, and remained in the Northern Premier League until disbanding in 2014.

The new Emley club joined Division One of the West Yorkshire League for the 2005–06 season. After finishing third in their first season, they were promoted to Division One of the Northern Counties East League. In 2015/16 they finished fourth in Division One, qualifying for the promotion play-offs. After beating Penistone Church 1–0 in the semi-finals, they lost 4–3 on penalties to Bottesford Town in the final after a 1–1 draw. Striker Ashley Flynn finished the season with 73 goals, a league record. In 2016/17 the club finished third, missing out on automatic promotion on goal difference; they went on to lose 3–1 to Penistone Church in the play-off semi-finals.

In March 2019 it was announced that the club would be renamed Emley AFC from the 2019–20 season, five years after the original club was dissolved. The Pewits were also transferred laterally to Division One North of the North West Counties Football League for the 2019/20 season.

Golcar United FC was established in 1904 and joined the West Riding County Amateur League in 1934 finishing as runners up. However, after finishing bottom in the 1937/38 season, United left the league but rejoined later in 1993.

In the 1930s United regularly played in front of crowds in excess of 1,000 and even featured on cigarette coupons. They moved to Longfield Avenue in 1955.

Golcar won the West Riding County Challenge Cup in 2000–01, and were Premier Division runners up in 2003–04. The following season saw them win the league title. They were runners up in 2014–15, and champions in 2017–18. United retained the league and cup double last season with twenty wins and one draw from 22 matches in the league, and were promoted to Division One North of the NWCFL. United thereby became the last ever champions of the now defunct West Riding County Amateur League - a league that started last year with the bare minimum of 14 clubs but following the demise of AFC Bingley and DRAM Community finished with 12.

A familiar route, past Serendipitea and Edibell, then ELCTRICALS. TOILETORIES. and the M60 and an abundance of ridiculous numberplates: SP1 8OAT, M4GYK, JD 15 BOS (pathetic and BOS = Bag of Sh*te) and a Ford Transit with Van Solo painted above the driver's seat....

Over Saddleworth Moor, Rakehead Viaduct, Windy Hill and the M62 Summit. Then Sammonden Reservoir, Rainbow Bridge and Stott Hall Farm, bisecting the two carriageways.

Off at junction 23 and into Huddersfield, roadworks at Salendine Nook, then Electric Beach tanning centre, the Petanque Club and Mad Nev's. Onto Wakefield Road, through Fenay Bridge, past the Tolson Museum, beyond Lepton Highlanders Sports Club and then right through Emley Moor, Limelight Bride and the TV transmission mast (since 1971) dominating the landscape and into the village. Not much to the village of Emley, just the White Horse pub and a newsagents and then a white bollard signalling the welfare club and the Fantastic Media Welfare Ground - plenty of parking for a huge crowd of 544, comfortably the best in the entire league this afternoon.

£5 in and inside to my right is the Richard Hirst Stand, covered terracing with a backdrop of housing and the TV mast. To my left is the main grandstand including bar, Dugout Diner and the 1903 Platinum Suite Hospitality Lounge. Up top is the Warburton End - a covered walkway that ends abruptly with the adjoining cricket pitch.

The Pewits are in claret and blue, keeper George Clarke in all orange, and Golcar in their famous green and black stripes and shotstopper Harry Stead in slate grey. A young referee, younger assistant and a very short and stout linesman officiate.

The first chance arises in the fifth minute with Emley's portly striker Rob Bordman outmuscling his marker to go one on one with Stead - he shoots straight at his legs. Barely a minute later Golcar win a free kick which is half cleared and Alex Hallam's sumptuous half volley into the top right corner, past an unsighted Clarke, gives United the lead.

Thereafter it's all Pewits with Bordman having three efforts, Stead saving from Jimmy Eyles and Conor Glavin and Andrew McManus seeing his shot cleared off the line. Five minutes before half time Eyles says something to the referee and is cautioned for dissent and consequently sin binned. Golcar take immediate advantage of Emley's temporary reduction to ten men with Nathan Tayo scoring, from almost on the line, from a corner.

2-0 to the visitors at the break, sunbathing on the pitch, impromptu football matches on the cricket pitch (doesn't go down well !!) and a couple of deckchairs on the outfield.... The teams re-emerge after the interval, a solitary cry of 'Come on Pewits' and an odd chant of 'Meat Pie, Sausage Roll, Come on Emley, Give Us A Goal'. This prompts huge micky taking given the rotundity of the singer....

Five minutes into the second period, and from a set piece, Gregg Porter shins in a third for United - Clarke diving over the ball and then fumbling into the corner. A certain sense of deja vu afterwards as Emley dominate but fail to score - a combination of bad luck, stoic defending and fine goalkeeping thwarting them.

Five minutes from the end Golcar counterattack and the move ends with sub Frasier Beckett calmly pacing the ball into the bottom corner to make it 4-0. Shortly after Pewits' sub Danny Farrar strikes the bar - all too much for the Emley cameraman who starts walking back to the stand.....

He has to beat a hasty retreat however as the Pewits are awarded a penalty in the final minute, and Bordman sends Stead the wrong way; 'Tucked away like a Fray Bentos' is the 'considered' opinion of the Golcar contingent, referring once more to Bordman's weight.

The referee chooses to play nine minutes of stoppage time during which Emley have a goal disallowed for offside and McManus hits the post; United's Jon Norris narrowly stabs wide at the other end but 4 goals from 5 attempts, as opposed to a penalty from 15 shots for the Pewits, sums up Golcar's 4-1 derby victory.

Seasiders Mount Pleasant Start To Campaign - Purple Pain !!

And so to Marske-by-the-Sea and the season's curtain raiser in the BetVictor Northern Premier League Division One North West. Last season we had Divisions One East and West but the league have changed this to Divisions One North West and South East, supposedly to reduce travelling distances. However today's clash at Mount Pleasant between Marske United and City of Liverpool can hardly be classed as regional football....

Marske United FC was established in 1956 by members of Marske Cricket Club, initially playing in the Cleveland League. The Seasiders then transferred to the South Bank League, before moving up to the Teesside League in 1976. The club won the Teesside League in 1980/81 and when this success was matched in 1984/85 United stepped up to the Wearside League.

They went on to win the Wearside League in 1996 and then finished runners up the following year, earning promotion to Division Two of the Northern League. In their first season the Seasiders finished third to move up to Division One.

Relegation followed in 2004, but the side was promoted again in third place in 2011, and were crowned Northern League champions in 2014/15; however they declined promotion to the Northern Premier League.

In 2017/18 the club reached the semi finals of the FA Vase, losing 3-2 on aggregate to Stockton Town. However Marske won the Division One title once more at the end of their campaign, earning promotion to Division One East of the Northern Premier League - where they finished 10th, out of 20, in their first season.

The first meeting that led to the formation of City of Liverpool FC was in October 2014, and the club was officially established in May 2015. The club chose to play in the colour purple, as it is the civic colour of the city....and a mix of Liverpool red and Everton blue - leading to their nickname 'The Purps'.

 

The Purps applied to join the NWCFL in early 2016 but their application was rejected by the FA and COL were instead placed in the Liverpool County Premier League. However they took up the option to appeal the decision, especially as vacancies arose due to Northwich Manchester Villa's resignation and Rochdale Town's expulsion from the league. At Wembley Stadium on 8 June 2016 the appeal was successful.

 

Groundsharing at Bootle's (then) Delta Taxis Stadium, it was an extraordinarily successful inaugural season. Leading the way for much of the campaign, the Purps eventually finished fourth and overcame Whitchurch Alport 1-0 to reach the play off final. Litherland REMYCA were beaten 3-0 on their own turf to secure promotion to the Premier Division.

 

Added to this, COL beat Sandbach United to lift the First Division Challenge Cup, their first ever piece of silverware. The Purps also won the League Challenge Cup Final at Highbury (Fleetwood rather than Arsenal) on penalties against Barnoldswick Town, in a match soured by crowd violence. No wonder City of Liverpool FC was awarded the title 'Non League Team of the Year' by sports bookmaker Coral.

 

In the 2017/18 season the club won the Champions Cup against Atherton Collieries and finished fourth, but last term the club finished as champions, pipping Bootle on the final day - Bootle having gone on a 20 game winning streak but only drawing on the final day. So promotion to the Northern Premier League Division One North West. Furthermore in their quest for a stadium of their own the Purps have been granted a period of exclusivity on a site at Fazakerley Playing Fields. However a Purps fan at today's game informed me that the land is contaminated 'and will never be built on'.

So on a warm summer afternoon it's past that execrable ELCTRICALS. TOILETORIES sign and onto the M60 and today's number plates UR 53CUR (a security company), SK11NKS and a reappearance of BUD61E.

To the M62 then onwards to Saddleworth Moor, Rakehead Viaduct and Windy Hill - The M62 Summit 'Highest Motorway in England 372 metres (1221 feet)'. Then Sammonden Reservoir, Rainbow Bridge and Stott Hall Farm, bisecting the two carriageways. Here there's a serious accident involving multiple vehicles, including one that's landed in a field.... Several emergency vehicles are in attendance and the carriageway is closed - naturally our side stops to rubberneck, creating delays.

From there to the M1 North, A1(M), A168, A19 and the A174, passing Mount Grace Priory and signs for Mother Shipton's Cave, The World of James Herriot and Captain Cook Birthplace Museum, bypassing Wetherby, Thirsk and Northallerton. I am comfortably overtaken by a Lamborghini but pass three Up North Combine lorries sporting signs of 'Caution Racing Pigeons'.

Off at the Marske turn, the landscape one of steelworks and refineries, and onto The Wynd which hosts The Wynd Pantry and Ravanelli's takeaway - a nod to The White Feather at nearby Middlesbrough ?

Mount Pleasant is just off Southfield Road, the next right, and beyond the bowling club. Passing the Alan Prest Band Room it's £8 at the turnstile and a decent crowd of 304 with a Purps contingent of at least three figures for their first game at Step 4.

Inside there's the Jimmy Smith Suite and Neil's Kabin serving refreshments. To my right a small covered area in the corner and to my left the main stand and another covered area with, for this season, a new front row of 44 seats built on wood with a sign at the back 'Tin Shed Titans' although this is soon populated by Purple Partisans.... The rest of the ground is surrounded by a mix of old-style and modern housing.

The Seasiders are in yellow shirts and blue shorts, with the shotstopper in all orange and COL, naturally, are in all purple with orange trim and their keeper in sky blue.

The match itself is dominated by the high winds - winds strong enough for at least 15 footballs to be kicked out of the ground during the game and strong enough to lift a cap off a Purps' fan's head and blown out of the ground....

The first meaningful action in the fifth minute produces a sublime goal for the Seasiders. A well worked move on the left finds Curtis Round and his left foot directs the ball superbly across the keeper into the top right corner. Even the Purps fans are impressed.

Thereafter Andrew Stephenson's cutback is deflected onto the post for the home side and he and Matty Waters waste a whole host of chances - most deriving from Liam O'Sullivan's huge throws. The Purps hardly feature 'we've not turned up this half' and a free kick that drifts past the post is their only meaningful effort, although this is blamed on 'several missing players'. 

The second half sees more of the same as the wind swirls round, although the sunshine is still pleasantly warm. Round conjures up another chance and then thrashes the ball over post and crossbar from six yards, and a goalmouth melee sees the ball land on the top of COL's bar.

Gradually the Purps grow into the game and both Elliott Nevitt and Jason Jeffries go close, before Tom Peterson taps in at the far post with a quarter of an hour to play. Half the ground erupts before the other half does as the linesman flags for offside, debatably.

Then, with ten minutes to go, home debutant goalkeeper Jack Norton loses the ball in the wind and trying to recover pulls down Purps' Jack Hazlehurst for a penalty. He makes up for his error by pulling off a superb save, low to his left, from Karl Clair's spot-kick.

This sparks an altercation between the two dug outs, two bookings and the game turns increasingly spiteful - we end up with 9 yellows and one red; Jeffries for two cynical yellows. Round is put through one on one and shoots wide, but the Seasiders hang on amidst (un)bearable tension.

Chad All Over - Pilks Under The Weather (But Cricket Carries On !!)

And so on a foul August Saturday, with summer appearing to have been and gone, it's over to the ArcOframe and Ruskin Sports Village for the North West Counties fixture between Pilkington and Chadderton.

Pilkington FC was officially founded in 1938 but the club has a history dating back many years before its official formation. The team's origins emanate from the Pilkington glass factory in St Helens which had numerous teams going back almost as far as the company starting to make glass in the 19th century.

Pilks initially played at Crossley Road with teams in the Liverpool Business Houses League and the St Helens Combination League. The club moved to Ruskin Drive at the start of the 1948/49 season and subsequently switched leagues to the Liverpool Combination.

An overseas Portuguese tour in 1970 advertised the club as Recs Pilkington de Liverpool but thousands of Portuguese spectators flocked to the ground expecting to see the Anfield team.

For the 1983/84 campaign Pilkington joined the Mid-Cheshire (now Cheshire) League and spent many years alternating between the first and second tiers. Their most recent relegation to Division One was in 2015, but in 2018 the club was promoted back to the Premier Division as runners up. Twelve months later Pilks won the Premier League, beating Altrincham Reserves on goal difference on the final day and finishing with 8 straight wins to confirm promotion to the North West Counties Football League Division One North.

Chadderton FC, 'Chaddy', was formed in 1947 as Millbrow FC, then became North Chadderton Amateurs and finally Chadderton in 1957. Initially competing in the Oldham Amateur League, the club then progressed through the Manchester Amateur League and on to the Manchester League in 1963.

A step up to the Lancashire Combination followed and, after finishing runners up in 1982, they became founder members of the North West Counties, created by the merger of the Lancashire Combination and Cheshire County League. Promotion in 1990 was swiftly met with relegation the season after, but the club lasted longer at the higher level after gaining promotion in 1993 - until being forcibly demoted in 1999 due to ground grading issues.

In 2007 Chaddy was taken over by Craig Halliwell and Tony Bhatti of HB Property Group, but within two years ties had been severed; the club becoming a members' club run by the people for the people. The play offs were reached in 2015, but the team remains best known for two of its ex-players - England international David Platt and Mark Owen from Take That. It was a disappointing performance of 16th (out of 20) last season.

So with strong winds and heavy rain it's over a freshly resurfaced Altrincham Bridge, past the Cheshire Retreat and glorious floral beds at Denzell Gardens before I reach Thelwall with speed restrictions for 'high winds'. Today's number plate is CA5 1 BAD, and there's also an Ultimate Lawns car whose bodywork is entirely (sodden) artificial grass...

A slight detour into Warrington, past Sub Imagination - with a strapline of 'Your dream and our hard work means mutual satisfaction' ; imaginative but clunky....

Finally onto the M62, past the Glass Horse pub and Catwalk Dogs, the 'Canine Grooming Lounge' and into the one way Denton's Green Lane which doubles back on itself; Ruskin Drive is a cul de sac on the left..

There's plenty of parking at Ruskin Drive Sports Ground, a 30 acre sports complex originally built in 1902 by Pilkington plc for use by its employees, and now run by St Helens Borough Council. There's also plenty going on - I walk past a rugby union pitch, home of Ruskin Park RFC, down some steps to a bowling green and this brings me to the cricket ground. Most spectators are in or around the Sticky Wicket Bar & Grub.

It's a dual entrance to get in - one side for the football (£3) and the other for the rugby league (£2) where Pilkington Recs, top of Conference Division One, are doing battle with Oulton Raiders, with Recs ultimately winning that one 30-8. The sports complex also features tennis courts and rounders pitches.

Inside it's a three sided ground with housing behind the goal at the top end. The left side is inaccessible with fencing and densely populated trees behind the dugouts, and the rugby union pitch behind them. The near end holds the changing rooms and bar, and the cricket pitch beyond. The popular side has a covered 200 seat AtCost stand and the rugby league match in the background.

The ArcOframe also hosts a series of ten information boards charting St Helens Town's journey to the FA Vase final in 1987, where they beat Warrington Town 3-2, and others covering Saints' football legends.

Pilkington are in all green, with keeper Patrick McLoughlin wearing a salmon number, and Chaddy are in change white with a red stripe and black flashing - stopper Jordan Hadlow in all yellow. A thin crowd of 72 - in stark contrast to last week's curtain raiser against Cleator Moor Celtic which drew 224 - gets thoroughly soaked as the wind blows the driving rain into the four rows of the covered stand.

Pilks are all at sea as Chaddy set the pace, McLoughlin tipping a shot onto the bar within the first two minutes. So it comes as no surprise when on 10 minutes Reece Lyndon is given time and space to square the ball and allow Liam Chambers to place the ball home.

Gradually Pilks come into the game following a mistake by Hadlow; home skipper Luke Sephton sidestepping him and hitting every part of the goalframe but crucially the ball fails to cross the line. Phil Marsh then evades his marker and goes round Hadlow before dreadfully scuffing his shot.

Half time with Chaddy 1-0 up and astonishingly I find a cricket match next door in progress in the pouring rain. In truth it's not much of a contest - Parkfield Liscard subsiding to 34 all out and St Helens Seconds comfortably reaching their target during the interval and then it's a mad sprint to the Sticky Wicket.

Back to the football and Sephton shoots across the goal whilst Jack Cunliffe is denied superbly by Hadlow. Against the run of play on 55 minutes James Dwyer doubles the advantage with a free header from a corner.

Substitute Matty Taylor's perfect cross is met by Sephton's header to reduce the arrears shortly after. Thereafter Pilks pepper the Chaddy goal, despite rugged opposition which results in 5 yellow cards - two of which come from one bizarre incident where two players (including Arron Scholes - son of United legend Paul) are booked for kicking the ball away.

Despite intense pressure and goal-line clearances Pilks fall short and Chaddy take home the points.

Not Heys' Day As United Victorious In Inaugural Fixture...

And so to the first Saturday in August and the new football season (we'll ignore the 2 Champions' League, 3 Norwegian and 2 Irish matches). And a new club and a new ground, the WMS Entrance Systems Park on Longfield Avenue, the home of Golcar United who play host to Prestwich Heys in the North West Counties Division One North this afternoon. 

Golcar United FC was established in 1904 and joined the West Riding County Amateur League in 1934 finishing as runners up. However, after finishing bottom in the 1937/38 season, United left the league but rejoined later.

Golcar won the West Riding County Challenge Cup in 2000–01, and were Premier Division runners up in 2003–04. The following season saw them win the league title. They were runners up in 2014–15, and champions in 2017–18. United retained the league and cup double last season with twenty wins and one draw from 22 matches in the league, and were promoted to Division One North of the NWCFL. United thereby became the last ever champions of the now defunct West Riding County Amateur League - a league that started last year with the bare minimum of 14 clubs but following the demise of AFC Bingley and DRAM Community finished with 12.

The Heys’ origins can be traced to February 9th 1938 when a meeting was called at the Music Room of the Heys Road Boys School with the idea of forming an Old Boys Association - the football arm becoming Heys Old Boys AFC. The Heys gradually progressed through the Bury Amateur League and South East Lancashire League, changing their name to Prestwich Heys AFC in 1964. The team joined the Lancashire Combination for the 1968/69 season.

Thousands flocked to see the Heys play in the FA Amateur Cup, with the victory over Sutton United in 1969 attracting nationwide coverage, coming a week before their opponents were due to meet Leeds United in the FA Cup. Truly the Heys' heyday !!

The club became a founder member of the North West Counties League in 1982 but were demoted to the Manchester League in 1986 due to ground grading issues. Under manager Adie Moran the Heys were champions for three successive seasons between 2005 and 2007. Tragically Moran was killed in a swimming accident in Sri Lanka at the age of 43 in June 2007 which left the club reeling.

After relegation battles, the club renamed the ground as Adie Moran Park in honour of their late manager and in 2016 won the Manchester League Premier Division - thereby returning to the North West Counties Football League after a 30 year absence. An 8^th place finish on their return was followed by third the season after with play off elimination by Cammell Laird, and 5th last term.

So on a warm summer afternoon it's past Bake My Day, the execrable T & T Pound Plus ELCTRICALS. TOILETORIES. and still shut, and Garvey's offering traditional Irish music every Fri-yay !! Onto the M60 and this season's first number plate M45S RC - possibly a priest ? Past a van advertising Walks'n'All, a dog walking and pet sitting company, and over Barton Bridge.

To the M62 then onwards to Saddleworth Moor, Rakehead Viaduct and Windy Hill - The M62 Summit 'Highest Motorway in England 372 metres (1221 feet)'. Then Sammonden Reservoir, Rainbow Bridge and Stott Hall Farm, bisecting the two carriageways.

Off at junction 23 and into Huddersfield (Land of Milk and Money apparently !!), where I'm invited to join Huddersfield Petanque Club. Onto the ring road where I spot a Muslim Support Food Bank and then, after Easyfireplace, a sharp right onto Scar Lane and Golcar. Then right onto Taylor Avenue where I park as Longfield Avenue is already choked.

The WMS Park is slap bang in the middle of a housing estate, with work undertaken over the summer to erect fencing and railings to ensure it meets NWCFL criteria. It has the feel of a council recreation pitch split into two with the top half used for overflow parking. £4 at the gate and it soon becomes clear United have underestimated interest in their first ever game at Step 6.

Only 50 programmes have been printed, with the bloke in front of me snaffling the last one. The attendance is a truly magnificent 379 (nearly double the previous record and comfortably the best in the entire league today), bolstered by many groundhoppers, several disaffected Bury fans and the fact that Huddersfield Town don't play till Monday. Only one toilet between us all though......

Inside only two sides are operative; one behind the near goal where there is a refreshment bar and the changing rooms. The popular side supports the clubhouse and a small covered standing area - there are no seats or floodlights yet. The other two sides are cordoned off due to their proximity to housing. Indeed that's all you can see except for trees and, to the left, views of Scapegoat Hill and Slaithwaite rising above the roofs.

Golcar are in their famous green and black stripes, Heys in red shirts and white shorts - although their keeper also wears green. There is a slight hold up whilst one of the goal nets is fixed, and I spot a large 'Up The Heys' banner in the corner next to a rather smaller Golcar flag bearing the club badge.

The first ten minutes are fairly turgid, with the main topic of conversation being the length and thickness of the grass which prevents smooth passing. Indeed the only areas without long grass are a couple of heavily sanded strips covering those parts that were waterlogged until yesterday.

And then suddenly we have a goal. The ball is played in from Golcar's left and Ben Burnett scores in the corner with a wonderful cushioned left footed volley for United's first ever goal at Step 6.

Little has been seen of Prestwich until their equaliser on 24 minutes. Jacob Wood overlaps on the right wing and delivers a peach of a cross which is met with a gorgeous header by Will Shawcross to tie things up. That seems to wake Heys up - Rio Wilson-Heyes draws a flying save from Golcar's Harry Stead and then Shelton Payne scuffs a one on one wide.

But it is Golcar who go into the break leading. Some rather shambolic Heys defending allows Jordan Townend to play in a totally unmarked Alex Hallam and he calmly sidefoots home.

The second period is distinctly underwhelming as Heys don't do enough pressing or testing Stead. Payne shoots across goal following a Stead error, and Wilson-Heyes fires into the side netting.

Hallam shoots across goal for the home side, but the game descends into a flurry of substitutions and bookings - you will not be surprised to learn that Payne is booked for simulation !! The referee chooses not to use the sin bin today however.

Then with ten minutes to go we have a bit of a melee, more handbags than anything else. This is also the trigger for the menacing black clouds, which have replaced the sun, to send out thick and heavy raindrops amidst rumbling thunder.

The groundhopper from Nottingham next to me really has had a nightmare today. He missed his train connection at Wakefield and had to shell out £26 for a taxi to get to the game (more than his return train ticket), and now finds that he hasn't brought a coat.... At least his neighbour from Sunbury on Thames has a cap....

Some pinball ricochet in the Golcar area in injury time but the ball is cleared and United take the spoils 2-1.