Archers Hit The Bull's Eye - Lakesiders Pay The Penalty !!

And so to Maes Tegid, home of Bala Town FC - Clwb Pel Droed Y Bala Town - another area where Welsh speakers amount to nearly 80%. This for the final game of the Welsh domestic season, the Europa League play off final against the Archers of Cardiff Metropolitan University FC, and that guaranteed prize money of £200,000.

Bala Town FC was formed in 1880 but there is record of a football club in Bala playing in the 1877/78 Welsh Cup. Bala North End, Bala South End and Bala Thursdays merged to form the current Bala Town, with the first record being the 1921/22 campaign in the Welsh National League North Division 2 East.

In the early 1950s the Lakesiders (naturally enough !!) moved to Maes Tegid from the adjacent Castle Park. The team played in the Welsh National League Wrexham Area between 1950 and 1954, then rejoined the Cambrian Coast League in 1954, winning titles in 1959 and 1963. The club re-entered the Welsh National League Wrexham Area for the 1963/64 season.

For the 2003/04 term Colin Caton (cousin of the late Tommy) took over the managerial reins - he is still in charge - and Bala won promotion to the Cymru Alliance in his first season.

In 2009 the Lakesiders were crowned Huws Gray Cymru Alliance champions and promoted to the Welsh Premier League. In their first season Town finished 11th out of 18, but the Welsh Premier League committee decided to reduce the league to 12 clubs - relegation seemed inevitable but was avoided as no feeder league club was deemed able to reach the criteria to obtain a Domestic Licence.

The Lakesiders took their place in the 'Super 12' but again finished 11th in 2011, once more evading relegation due to Licensing issues.

Since then there has been no more flirting with relegation - Bala finished runners up in 2014/15 and 2015/16 (when the club was being bankrolled by local businesses keen to bring an end to The New Saints' monopoly on titles). The Welsh Cup was won in 2017 when Town fought back to beat TNS 2-1, and the club has qualified for the Europa League five times but is yet to win a tie on aggregate.

Last time the Lakesiders finished a disappointing sixth, but beat fifth placed Newtown 2-1 to earn a home final play off against Cardiff MU.

Last weekend's win at Caernarfon will live long in the memory but a swift resume of the visitors, 'The Archers' of Cardiff Metropolitan University FC, who were formed from a series of mergers and name changes.

It all started with Lake United renaming themselves AFC Cardiff in 1984. In 1990 the club was taken over by Sully FC to form Inter Cardiff FC, which became Inter CableTel AFC in 1996. This club represented Wales in the old UEFA Cup three times, including playing Celtic in the 1997/98 season.

In 2000 a merger with UWIC (University of Wales Institute, Cardiff) produced UWIC Inter Cardiff which became Cardiff Metropolitan University FC in 2012. The Archers, or unofficially known as The International, The Sheep (!) or The Div's (Car-DIFF), then won three promotions in four seasons to reach the Welsh Premier League.

Since then the club has qualified for the Europa League play offs every season, this time via finishing top of the relegation group, but without winning the final and moving on to play in Europe. Also this season The Archers won the Welsh League Cup for the first time, beating second tier Cambrian & Clydach Vale Boys & Girls Club 2-0 in the final, all under the managerial reign of ex Welsh international Dr Christian Edwards.

So on a cloudy, breezy afternoon I set off past the property that is now styled as the Brexit House, then the well appointed Denzell Gardens, The Stretton Fox and Daresbury Park. Not long before the ridiculous numberplates appear - today we have X 11ON X, H1 2OLD (too old for what ??), N1NJA, ADD 2 (add two what ??), GR03 VEG, CAR 123X (??) and D3KLN. A fool and his money are soon parted....

Then the wind turbine farm and belching fumes that is Stanlow before I join the A494, skirting Buckley and Mold. A wry smile at the We Three Loggerheads, in Loggerheads itself, the Druid Inn at Llanferres and some glorious Welsh countryside scenery on the winding road from the heights of Llanbedr Dyffryn Clwyd.

That takes me to Ruthin and its Gaol, a brief flirtation with the A5 and a left turn at The Druids, beyond Glassblobbery and into Bala. Time is on my side so I take in the magnificent views of Lake Bala - 3.7 miles long by 0.5miles wide. It was the largest natural body of water in Wales until its level was raised by Thomas Telford to help support the flow of the Ellesmere Canal, and the sight of it is utterly breathtaking.

Then I take the minor B road by the eastern side of Lake Bala down to Llanuwchllyn, a one track road with the odd passing place - I, uncomfortably, come head on to several classic cars, all sporting a 'Hills and Valleys Tour' blue badge.

At the foot of the hill Llanuwchllyn is the home of the Bala Lake Railway, a 4.5 mile ride taking 25 minutes (and £11.50 return !!) to Bala Penybont, along the side of Lake Bala. The locomotive shed and heritage centre reveal 6 engines and various wagons, plus Winifred, the steam engine operating today.

Then into Bala, with its eclectic mix of pubs, galleries and cafes - including one called, naturally enough, Sospan Fach !! Not much to Bala away from the High Street, bearing in mind its population of less than 2,000 at the last census. However there is a striking clocktower in honour of John Jones of Tremynfa, and a statue of Thomas Edward Ellis, a prominent Welsh Liberal politician, emanating from the Bala area.

Left at The White Lion and then onto Castle Street brings me to Maes Tegid and Bala Town FC. No problem parking at the ground this week but it comes as no surprise, given the shambolic marshalling and sheer imbecility and selfishness of some drivers, that there is utter chaos and gridlock at the final whistle; fortunately I am away within ten minutes.

£6 at the gate and a crowd of 623 for the final, including a healthy number of away fans making the near 300 mile round trip and several groundhoppers.

Inside the main stand is to my left, a piecemeal affair made up of no less than 5 separate covered structures plus a press box - and with stunning views of  Snowdonia shrouded in mist in the background. At the top end is the house on the hill, whilst opposite are the dugouts and TV gantry with the near end providing the dressing rooms, snack bar and a small three step terrace behind the goal. It is here that the Bala Ultras congregate, their flags completely outnumbering the solitary 'The Roving Sheep On Tour' at the far end - a Merthyr Town supporter who is 'neutral'. Dial M for Merthyr....

The Lakesiders are in white with black sleeves and shorts, the Archers in claret and blue with yellow trim, and the officials in all yellow - so no colour clash this week. Bala start with 4 Welshmen and 7 English players - by the end it's 2 Welsh and 9 English - whilst Met have the complete reverse - 7 Welsh and 4 English.

Unlike last week the Archers start strongly with Adam Roscrow hitting the bar in the first minute and then heading against the inside of the post on 12 minutes. However Bala take the lead eight minutes later when Nathan Burke's cross is flicked on to Kieran Smith and glanced in by Henry Jones.

Four minutes later parity is restored - Will Evans given far too much space, drawing a save from Keighan Jones, but Eliot Evans pounces on the rebound to equalise. Smith hits the sidenetting for Bala as we approach half  time.

The second half is a cagey affair with few chances and solid defending. The Archers' keeper Will Fuller denies Henry Jones and Mike Hayes, whilst Met's Will Evans has a goal disallowed and is then booked for simulation in the penalty box.

Tension mounts as we move into extra time; in the first period Chris Baker heads against the post for Cardiff, whilst in the second Fuller makes a splendid save from Anthony Stephens but is then helpless as Hayes and Stuart Jones strike the bar within seconds - how the ball does not cross the line defies belief.....

Inevitably penalties and further unbearable tension which transmits itself to the players.... After 6 penalties the score is 1-0 to the Archers, with Keighan Jones saving two weak Cardiff penalties, and Bala skying one over the bar and having two saved, the second superbly by Will Fuller. The final three are scored, the last by Eliot Evans for a 3-1 win for the Met, and ecstasy on the pitch and the terraces as the students' team qualify for Europe !!

Archers Arrow In On Play Off Final - Canaries Sick As A Parrot !!

And so to the Oval and a Welsh Premier League Europa League play off between the Canaries of Caernarfon Town and the Archers of Cardiff Metropolitan University FC. Or the home of Clwb Pel Droed Tref Caernarfon, befitting a town that boasts greater than 86% of the population being Welsh speakers - Caernarfon residents are colloquially known as Cofis, and Cofi is used to describe the local dialect incorporating many words not used in the Welsh language. The overall winners of the Europa League play offs secure a place in the cup draw and a guaranteed £200,000 prize money....

The first football club in Caernarfon was established in September 1876 and known as Carnarvon Athletic, playing at various grounds and moving to The Oval in 1888. Athletic folded in 1891 and what followed was a plethora of short lived clubs - Carnarvon Ironopolis, Celts, RWF (Royal Welsh Fusiliers), United and a reincarnation of Athletic which was liquidated in 1930 and then revived two years later before quitting over problems using The Oval.

In 1937 a group of local soccer enthusiasts began Caernarvon Town FC (now Caernarfon Town FC). The Canaries had a 39 year unbroken membership of the Welsh League (North), winning the championship twice, until internal problems caused the club to withdraw from the league in 1976. Within months Town was reborn and immediately won consecutive titles.

The Welsh FA then gave Caernarfon permission to join the Lancashire League, becoming a founder member of the North West Counties Football League in 1982.

In 1985 the Canaries were elected to the Northern Premier League and during the 1986/87 season, under the tutelage of John King and inspired by Austin Salmon (a missed car name if ever there was one !! ), embarked on a record FA Cup run. Fourth Division Stockport County were beaten 1-0, Third Division York City 2-1 in a replay at Bootham Crescent (a match I shall never forget) before losing 1-0 in a replay to Second Division Barnsley. Cofis finished third in the NPL and felt that, if not for the FA Cup run, they would probably have gained promotion to the Football Conference.

After King's departure, to Tranmere Rovers, and the disappointing tenure of Tommy Smith, Town were relegated to the first division of the NPL in 1990. Thereafter followed five seasons of indifferent performances prompting the board to make the decision to return to Welsh football. The Canaries were welcomed back into the League of Wales in August 1995.

In March 2009, with finances at an all time low and the club's entire future in doubt, the chairman and board of directors resigned and a band of volunteers managed to guide Town through to the end of the season. A year later Caernarfon sank to the third tier of Welsh football.

The team won the Welsh Alliance in 2013 and then the Huws Gray Cymru Alliance in 2016, but were deprived of promotion as the FAW denied the Canaries a domestic licence with Cefn Druids going up instead. Nonetheless two years later another championship was bagged and this time the licence was granted - Town finishing 4th in their first season back in the Welsh Premier League, and securing a home Europa League play off.

The visitors, 'The Archers' of Cardiff Metropolitan University FC, were formed from a series of mergers and name changes.

It all started with Lake United renaming themselves AFC Cardiff in 1984. In 1990 the club was taken over by Sully FC to form Inter Cardiff FC, which became Inter CableTel AFC in 1996. This club represented Wales in the old UEFA Cup three times, including playing Celtic in the 1997/98 season.

In 2000 a merger with UWIC (University of Wales Institute, Cardiff) produced UWIC Inter Cardiff which became Cardiff Metropolitan University FC in 2012. The Archers, or unofficially known as The International, The Sheep (!) or The Div's (Car-DIFF), then won three promotions in four seasons to reach the Welsh Premier League.

Since then the club has qualified for the Europa League play offs every season, this time via finishing top of the relegation group, but without winning the final and moving on to play in Europe. Also this season The Archers won the Welsh League Cup for the first time, beating second tier Cambrian & Clydach Vale Boys & Girls Club 2-0 in the final, all under the managerial reign of ex pro Dr Christian Edwards.

So onto Manchester Road, some drizzle, cloud then unbroken sunshine as I pass the carved wooden eagle before reaching the M56 and Stanlow with its belching fumes and overworked wind turbines. And immediately a competition for the worst personalised numberplate - today's contenders are SO 61DDY, SO0 6LAD, M3FLU, 4ODD (factually incorrect !!), T4KCE (yes a taxi !!), GH05T GC and ARK1D. No further comment required.....

Then to Queensferry, where the speed limit is reduced for emission reductions, and the A55, Bodelwyddan Castle, straddling the coast as I approach the abandoned pier at Colwyn Bay. Then panoramic views of Snowdonia and the Great Orme before the Conwy, Penmaenbach and Pen-y-Clip tunnels. Beyond Bangor and the Vales Fall Whisky Distillery and into the royal town of Caernarfon (Fort of Arfon) advertising next weekend's Rail Ale Festival. A sharp left onto Henwalia and right into Marcus Street where I find the car park full a good six hours before kick off, possibly because of the S4C Sgorio live coverage of the match later on.

Caernarfon itself is absolutely packed - today is the annual Food Festival with live entertainment, market stalls and the biggest queues at The Tipsy Giraffe cocktail bar. Slowly I wend my way past the walls of Caernarfon Castle, with its polygonal towers, the statue of David Lloyd George (Caernarfon's most famous son) to Victoria Dock and the Walled Town to a cacophony of Welsh language lilt.

My final stop is the harbour, the River Seiont and the Menai Strait with Anglesey glistening in the sun and then the Welsh Highland Railway, a 25 mile two and a quarter hour journey to Porthmadog - but at £41.50 return and bearing in mind last month's runaway locomotive incident it's probably an attraction I can resist......

To the football, £7 in and directly facing me is the Rondo Stand, 3 rows of covered yellow and green seats emphasising the steep gradient from left to right. The main grandstand is to my right with yellow CPTC seats set amidst green, and a curious covered standing area in the corner complete with window....The near end features a part covered terrace behind the goal together with a snackbar, whilst to the left is terracing, grass bank and gravel, the press box and dugouts. A bumper crowd of 1280 waits in anticipation....

With the sun still blazing the teams enter the fray - the Canaries in yellow and green as expected and goalkeeper Alex Ramsay in all black - the same as the referee and his two assistants. The Archers are in claret and blue with yellow trim, and shotstopper Will Fuller in orange but with a large amount of yellow on his top...

Cofis start well and the Archers sluggishly as in the first minute Darren Thomas is given too much space and Fuller saves his shot with an outstretched foot. Thomas has two other good chances, one crowded out, the other just wide before the inevitable happens. A free kick from captain Nathan Craig and a towering header from Thomas that loops over Fuller and the Canaries are chirping !! A surge at the Town End, a crush and the perimeter wall and advertising hoardings collapse...

There is a lengthy delay with one youngster suffering a minor arm injury and discussions as to whether the match should continue. Eventually play resumes with the Town End patrolled by three stewards, but not evacuated, and only cordoned off at half time when the home fans move to the Rondo Stand. Nine minutes of injury time are played at the end of the first period.

The delay appears to unsettle Caernarfon and Met start to come more into the game. On 36 minutes Chris Baker's deflected shot from a corner restores parity and three minutes later Eliot Evans, who has already come close, hits the post from another corner.

The second half mirrors the first with the Canaries starting strongly - Leo Smith has a shot cleared off the line and Thomas hits the post but crucially Caernarfon don't score. Midway through the half Cardiff's centre forward, the excellent Adam Roscrow, is found in space on the left wing and with sheer power and pace advances to beat his marker and smash the ball into the roof of the net. A quite magnificent individual goal...

Leo Smith then hits the bar in a goalmouth melee at a corner, and Eliot Evans is denied by a wonderful fingertip save from Ramsay, before with nine minutes remaining Kyle McCarthy arcs his run beautifully and produces a superb shot across Ramsay, low into the corner, for 3-1.

Into injury time a needless trip gives the Cofis a lifeline - Craig scores the penalty kick but there is insufficient time for an equaliser. The Archers now go to Maes Tegid and Bala Town next Sunday for the final Europa League spot and that £200,000...

Tad All Over - Brewers Fare Well In Whites Fright Show

And so to the i2i Stadium and Ings Lane for the final Evostik Northern Premier Division One East league fixture of the season between Tadcaster Albion and Lincoln United.

Tadcaster Albion was formed in 1892 as John Smith's Football Club, with their stadium behind the John Smith's brewery - the club now play next to Samuel Smith's brewery store. The Brewers (unsurprisingly !!) played in the York League but the club ran into difficulties in the early 1920s, and came back in 1923 under the new name of Tadcaster Albion.

By 1926/27 they were back under the John Smith's name, with a second team using the Tadcaster Albion title founded in 1930. The clubs merged after World War II, keeping the Tadcaster Albion name.

Albion won the York League in the 1947/48 season, eventually moving upwards to the Yorkshire League for the 1973/74 campaign. The Brewers were a founder member of the Northern Counties East League in 1982 and won Division One in 2010.

Their best ever FA Vase run in 2015 resulted in a 6th Round replay at home to Highworth Town, which sparked ugly scenes featuring a pitch invasion, coin throwing and Town's chairman and goalkeeper injured in the melee. Highworth eventually won the tie 1-0.

The following year, after significant investment, The Brewers were crowned as NCEL Premier Division champions and promoted to the Northern Premier League Division One North (now East) with a play off push mounted this season. And the equation is simple - Taddy must win this afternoon and Sheffield have to lose at Brighouse Town (almost an El Classicoal !!). Two goals in the final 15 minutes against Gresley to overturn the away side's lead and an injury time equaliser at the Pikes of Pickering Town on Easter Monday leave the Brewers three points behind 'The Club' but with a better goal difference.....

The away side, 'The Whites' from Ashby Avenue, was established as Lincoln Amateurs FC in 1938 but only joined the Lincolnshire League in 1945 because of World War II. The following season the club transferred to the Lincoln League and in 1954 was renamed as Lincoln United, after taking on a paid player, Ray Bean, at 5 shillings a week (!).

United rejoined the Lincolnshire League in 1960, winning the title in 1964 before moving to the Yorkshire League in 1967, where they were twice champions of Division One.

The Whites were a founder member of the Northern Counties East League when the Yorkshire League merged with the Midland League in 1982, but joined the Supreme Division (!!) of the Central Midlands League in 1986. United won the Supreme championship in 1991, in a season where they became the only Central Midlands League team to play in the First Round proper of the FA Cup (losing 7-0 to Huddersfield Town) before reverting back to the NCEL.

The Premier Division was won in 1994/95 moving United up to the Northern Premier League Division One. Promotion to the Premier Division followed in 2004, but the club was relegated to Division One South (now East) in 2008 where they still reside - currently 13th out of 20 this campaign, but with only three wins this calendar year.

And so as Storm Hannah batters the UK it's a very wet and windy start to my journey. Past the Interior Curtain Centre which has already given us registration plates B11NDS and C11RTN - it has a new one T13 BAC today. Other car registration numbers that feature on this trip are FU55 ADO and O B11GSY.

Beyond that ELCTRICAL. TOILETORIES. sign it's onto the M60 and then onwards to Saddleworth Moor, Rakehead Viaduct and Windy Hill - The M62 Summit 'Highest Motorway in England 372 metres (1221 feet).

Then Sammonden Reservoir, Rainbow Bridge and Stott Hall Farm, bisecting the two carriageways. After Hartshead Moor there is a flurry of Sonic Direct hoardings in the surrounding fields, but these are preferable to the abandoned trailers and wind turbines elsewhere on the route.....

I join the M1 which becomes the A1(M), and exit at junction 44. Then into Tadcaster, dominated by the breweries, but also boasting local shops 'Simply A Party' and Vanilla Interiors (rather plain !!) and the impressive St Mary's Church.

The town itself is quiet, almost closed, possibly due to the weather. This is epitomised by the sign for Hardwick Smith & Dewar 'Open 10-4 Thursdays' - and that's it....

The i2i stadium on Ings Lane is at the end of the road housing John Smith's Brewery, and there is ample parking. £8 gets me in, with the clubhouse immediately to my right and then a short covered terrace. To my left is the all seater Loxley Homes Stand, and in the far right corner a smaller version, the Ken Gilbertson Stand. Trees line all four sides with the River Wharfe behind them on the opposite side.

The river burst its banks during Storm Desmond in the 2015/16 season, resulting in the Brewers being unable to play home fixtures for over ten weeks. There was further flooding last month and the pitch was under several feet of water; however crowd funding enabled a full clean up and no matches were postponed.  

The Brewers are in yellow and blue and their keeper in all white, forcing The Whites to play in change green and white. The match kicks off in driving rain and strong winds.

Unsurprisingly Albion force the pace early on, and United's custodian, Michael Emery, makes a fine save from Casey Stewart's shot. Within a minute, out of nothing and completely against the run of play, Lincoln's Matt Cotton arrows in a shot that hits the inside of the post and rolls into the net - United lead on 13 minutes.

That lead lasts all of six minutes with the Brewers' centre back Paddy Miller, made skipper for the day ahead of his retirement after this match, heading in from a corner. Four minutes later a superb Harry Coates pass sets Stewart free down the right and he squares for Aiden Savory to sidefoot home.

The third home goal in eight minutes is caused by a suicidal pass by Emery to Callum Dye. Luke Porritt intercepts and is then tripped by Dye; the penalty kick is confidently dispatched by Miller.

On 36 minutes the referee awards the Brewers a second penalty, a rather soft decision for holding on Savory. Miller scores in the opposite corner for his first ever hat trick, and 4-1 to Taddy.

Then in first half injury time Jason Mycoe shoots from 35 yards, the ball hits a divot and loops high over Emery's flailing arms and into the net. 5-1 to the Brewers at the break, with word reaching us that Brighouse and Sheffield are drawing 1-1.

There is no let up in the second period. Nine minutes in Aaron Hardy's beautifully weighted cross is headed powerfully home by Pete Davidson, to chants of 'Yorkshire Pirlo' and Albion go 6-1 up.

On 65 minutes Porritt plays in Stewart who scores comfortably, and he repeats the feat a minute later to make it 8-1 to the Brewers. More chances are spurned and then Taddy declare.

In fact some sloppiness slips into their game. With eight minutes to go Albion mess up a corner, allowing Lincoln's Ben Davison to race up the field and send the keeper the wrong way. A minute later his precision finish into the corner makes it 8-3, and the fightback is on....well maybe not !!

News reaches us of an injury time winner for Sheffield, who return to Brighouse on Tuesday for the play offs. The Brewers' season and Paddy Miller's career are over - but what an astonishing match and as for Miller scoring a hat trick in his last game - you couldn't make it up !!  

A Bonny Day For The Blues After Seahorses' Lame Performance.......

And so to Carleton Road and Frenchfield Park for my first ever Northern League fixture between Penrith and Whitley Bay in Division One.

Penrith AFC was founded in 1894, playing in local leagues before joining the Carlisle & District League which they won several times. The club moved to the North Eastern League for the 1907/08 season.

Before the start of the 1948/49 season 'The Bonny Blues' were elected to the Northern League where they remained until 1982 - their best finish being runners up in 1962.

The team became a founder member of the North West Counties Football League and finished second to Stalybridge Celtic in 1984. Promotion in 1987 to the Northern Premier League Division One saw a three year stay and then relegation back to the NWCFL.

The club rejoined the Northern League for the 1997/98 campaign and fortunes have fluctuated ever since, with four seasons in the Second Division and then promotion back to the top tier.

The Bonny Blues changed name to Penrith Town in 2007, and moved from Southend Road to Frenchfield Park. Thereafter there was a reunion with breakaway Penrith United with the club becoming Penrith AFC once more in 2008.

17th out of 22 last time, the club currently lie 18th and last in the league following Team Northumbria's close season resignation and disbandment, and Blyth FC's demise four games into the season. The Bonny Blues remain the only Northern League top flight side situated on the west side of the country.

The visitors, Whitley Bay FC, play at Hillheads Park adjacent to Whitley Bay ice rink; there has been a football club in Whitley Bay since 1896 when it was founded by Liam Patrick Mattimore, an ex Brazilian captain (!!). The club was known as Whitley and Monkseaton FC, before changing name to Monkseaton FC and then Whitley Bay Athletic.

After many years in the minor leagues, Whitley Bay Athletic joined the Northern Alliance League in 1950, claiming the title once. The Bay then opted to play in the powerful North Eastern League between 1955 and 1958, but the team struggled - subsequently successfully applying to the Northern League and dropping Athletic from the club name.

The Northern League championship was won in 1964/65 and 1965/66 along with several local cups over the intervening years.

The Seahorses took up their position in the Northern Premier League Division One in 1988 and won promotion to the Premier Division, as league winners, in 1991. However two relegations in 1995 and 2000 took the Bay back down to the Northern League.

Whilst there has been the occasional flirtation with the league title, the Seahorses have enjoyed considerable FA Vase success - four time winners in 2002 (beating Tiptree), 2009 (Glossop North End), 2010 (Wroxham) and 2011 (Coalville Town).

The current campaign has been another disappointing season, with the Bay lying 12th, a position they cannot improve upon before the season's end.

So on a glorious spring morning, with the sun beating down, there's some familiar sights. T & T Pound Plus no longer selling ELCTRICAL. TOILETORIES, queues on Barton Bridge due to a 'stranded vehicle' and then on the M61 'Incontinence Supplies at Internet Prices' before I pass a forlorn looking Botany Bay. A couple of car registration plates too - M3 CRY and the excellent WH05 BAD !!

Then onto the M6, inevitable barrier repairs and delays between junctions 32 and 33, motorway graffiti 'Democracy is fracked' and some glorious views of the Cumbrian countryside. Past the pretty multi-coloured painted terrace houses in Tebay, Shap Summit at 1036 feet, Katy Cropper Sheepdogs and then off at junction 40 with the sign for Ullswater Steamers.

A quick stroll round Penrith with its artisan shops and impressive clocktower, and JR Arnison & Sons, drapers, costumiers and milliners since 1742, before I head out to Carleton village, turning at the Cross Keys pub, passing Hunter Hall school and the cul de sac finishes at Frenchfield Sports Centre.

A vast complex of football and rugby pitches - and vicious speed bumps !! - with Penrith AFC's modern stadium at the end. £6 on the gate and the all seater grandstand and clubhouse and bar are immediately to my left, Blues Café to my right. Opposite is the three step Walter Brogden Stand, terraced but with six plastic chairs.... The rest of the ground is tarmacked flat standing with some wonderful views of snow capped hills and Beacon Edge, with the A66 passing behind the goal to my right.

The Bonny Blues are naturally in blue with white trim, the Seahorses in change yellow and black as the match kicks off under blue sky and sunshine but with a chill wind. The latter explains the high number of balls that sail over the perimeter fence, epitomised early on when after one match ball flies out of the ground, the replacement is shanked to Bay keeper Daniel Lister who manages to punt that straight over the fence too !!

On ten minutes the referee awards a throw in to the Seahorses - a truly appalling decision. Bay lose possession and Penrith's captain Grant Davidson sets a swift counterattack going. The ball is played out to Matty Clarke on the left side and he speeds down the wing before crossing for Martyn Coleman to sidefoot home and the Bonny Blues lead. A dubious assist for the referee ?? !!

The Seahorses come more into the game as the half progresses, Olly Martin's header just over the bar from a corner their best effort but the half ends 1-0 to Penrith, despite Stu Dixon's flapping in the home goal.

The second period sees the Seahorses start brightly, Jonathan Wright given far too much time and space to turn and shoot - wildly as it happens. Davidson has a shot deflected just wide for the home team.

Then on 70 minutes Bay's offside trap is breached and Davidson plays in Coleman, who takes the ball past Lister but the angle is too tight and his shot trickles agonisingly onto the post and into Lister's hands. No matter as within a minute the trap is broken again with Shaun Gardner releasing Adam Main and he deftly finishes past Lister.

Lister makes a superb tip over save from sub Max Brown to keep the score at 2-0, with the Seahorses struggling to create a chance worthy of the name, and the Bonny Blues see the game out at 2-0 to take their recent run to one defeat in eight in front of the crowd of 157. Three vital points with relegation issues yet to be confirmed by the FA, but Penrith know that 4 points from their final two games will see them avoid bottom spot - remarkable given that their first league victory was only achieved in January.

Gift Wrapped - Late Christmas Presents Give United B(r)ig Derby Victory !

And so to Ingfield, the home of newly formed Ossett United FC for a New Year’s Day early kick off local derby with Brighouse Town in the Evostik Northern Premier Division One East.

Ossett Albion AFC was set up in 1944 during the Second World War for local Grammar School students. The Unicorns rose through the West Riding County Amateur League and West Yorkshire League before joining the Yorkshire League in 1957, where they were Division One champions in 1975.

In 1982 the Yorkshire League joined up with the Midland League to form the Northern Counties East League. Albion were Premier League champions in 1999 but were denied promotion to the Northern Premier League because one of their dressing rooms was too small !! More of which anon….

Two years later the Unicorns finished as runners up to Brigg Town but were promoted instead of the Zebras. That first season in the Northern Premier saw Albion finish bottom and relegation back to the Northern Counties East - but two seasons later the club were promoted as champions on a dramatic final day, pipping Eastwood Town by virtue of goals scored with both teams locked on the same number of points and goal difference.

Fourteen seasons later Albion remained in the same division, but last season was their final one. In February it was announced that Ossett Albion would merge with near neighbours Ossett Town in the summer to become Ossett United, with the new club playing at Town's Ingfield base under the stewardship of Albion's Andy Welsh. Dimple Wells, Albion’s home, is still used for reserve team games.

Ossett Town AFC was formed in 1936 when, during a public meeting, the Mayor of the Borough of Ossett charged John Carter, a former Yorkshire League referee, with bringing Ossett the highest possible standard of football.

The Reds started out in the Leeds League, which was renamed the West Yorkshire League in 1939, before switching to the Heavy Woollen League – so called due to the heavyweight cloth made in the area during the Second World War. After the War Town joined the Yorkshire League.

Derrick Blackburn was sold to Swansea Town in 1957 for £1,350 and this enabled the club to buy the Ingfield site where today’s game takes place. The merger of the Midland League with the Yorkshire League in 1982 saw Town also become a founder member of the Northern Counties Est League. Two promotions took the club to the Premier Division where they spent nine consecutive seasons.

That ended in 1999 when The Reds finished runners up but were promoted to the Northern Premier League First Division due to Ossett Albion, that season’s champions, and their too small dressing room…

Ironically Ossett Town’s third season in the NPL ended in heartbreak – finishing second, an automatic promotion place, but deprived of promotion as ground improvements were delayed by twelve hours (!!) due to inclement weather.

Nonetheless Town were promoted to the NPL Premier Division at the end of the 2003/04 season only to be relegated to Division One North in 2011, where they remained until the merger.

Brighouse Town FC was established in 1963 as the Blakeborough Valves works team, playing in local Huddersfield leagues, until the demise of the company in 1988 led to the name change to Brighouse Town. Town were competing in the West Riding County Amateur League by this time and were Premier League champions five times.

Despite only finishing eighth in 2008, the club were surprisingly promoted to Division One of the Northern Counties East League. They were runners up in 2009/10, earning the right to play in the NCEL Premier Division, which they won with over 100 points in 2013/14. Following promotion this is Town’s fifth season at Northern Premier League Division One level.

So on a glorious sunny New Year's Day it's onto a deserted Manchester Road, past the desolate T & T Pound Plus 'ELCTRICAL. TOILETORIES.' and Garvey's inviting us to celebrate St Patrick's Day (already !) before hitting the M60.

From there it's the M62 and the first of four registration plates today, SHY 50S - the others are P1 BOO, N80NGA and V1DYO.... To Saddleworth Moor, Rakehead Viaduct and Windy Hill - the M62 Summit: 'Highest Motorway in England 372 metres (1221 feet).

Then Scammonden Reservoir, Rainbow Bridge and Stott Hall Farm, the latter parked between both carriageways. Beyond Hartshead Moor, past a flurry of Sonic Direct hoardings in the surrounding fields, then off at Tingley. Ignoring Woodkirk Valley Country Club, Bake 'n' Bites and the abandoned The Babes In The Woods pub, I turn left at Dewsbury Rams RLFC stadium.

Newly Weds Foods on the left brings me to the outskirts of Ossett - a town named after 'A fold of a man named Osla' or 'A fold frequented by blackbirds' depending on your fancy ! I turn right after the Hammer & Stithy and park outside Lifterz Work Platforms. It's a quick walk into town and the attractions of Curios & Wonders, Sniff's Canine Beautician, Reptilia and Bier Huis.

The 'world famous' Ingfield (it's announced several times) is next to the town centre. £8 admission takes me inside with the Town End holding an all seater covered stand, Ossett Bus Station just behind it. There's a strange flag 'That Boy Loco He's One Of Our Own. Vamos !!!!!!!' draped at the back.

To the left is a shallow terrace, part covered, with the odd portable plastic bench - these are dotted round the ground. The far end is open, with residential houses beyond, whilst to my right is another terrace, again part covered, along with the changing rooms, Kelly's Sports Bar and Graham Firth Suite, and the club shop.

With the sun streaming down, United are in sky blue shirts and navy shorts, Town in orange and black. And there's another tubby linesman who seems to have enjoyed his Christmas a little too much.....

Ossett's Gilbraltar international Adam Priestley drags his shot wide in the first two minutes but after that there's half an hour of scrappiness and injuries. Zephaniah Thomas's woeful free kick and Thomas Robinson's scuffed cross into the side netting represent Brighouse's best opportunities.

Then the season of giving, in this case late Christmas gifts, comes into play on 32 minutes. A hopeful punt from the back, Town keeper Jordan Porter hopelessly misjudges the bounce of the ball and it sails over him leaving Priestley to tap in, almost embarrassedly.

Five minutes later in trying to shepherd the ball out for a goal kick too much space is given, and Tom Greaves nips in, steals the ball and shoots under Porter for 2-0. Then on the cusp of half time from a free kick possession is coughed up in the penalty area, and the ball is cut back for James Knowles to sidefoot home. Porter is booked for dissent, and it's 3-0 at the break.

Within a minute of the restart, Shiraz Khan is allowed to dance his way down the touch line then across the box, dummy and then shoot to make it 4-0. Vintage Shiraz !!! Khan has another shot cleared off the line shortly after, and Greaves hits a post. Brig come more into the match but, despite the exhortations of manager Vill Powell, Brett Souter is untroubled in the Ossett goal.

In the dying embers of the game a moment that encapsulates Brighouse's, and Porter's, day. A young fan accidentally kicks his luminous football onto the pitch and it lands in the Brighouse penalty box. The referee stops play and Porter, in attempting to return the ball to the youngster, only succeeds in booting it out of the ground.....

Things meander to a close and it finishes Ossett United 4 Brighouse Town, second at start of play, 0. The crowd is a healthy 618 - and a St Bernard !!

Louis Downs Two But Eagles Fail To Swoop And Conquer

And so to the ProSeal Stadium on Norbreck Avenue in Cheadle Heath for a North West Counties Division One encounter between newcomers, Cheadle Heath Nomads FC, and relative veterans Eccleshall FC.

Cheadle Heath Nomads FC was formed in 1919 and a group of individuals began a fundraising project to reach £1000 to buy the piece of land ‘on the other side of the bridge’ in Cheadle. Success saw the creation of a sports club for the area and in 1921 the club opened with Cheadle Heath Nomads at its core, although there were facilities for cricket, tennis and hockey.

Nomads joined the Lancashire & Cheshire Amateur Football League and, after a brief break in 1927, stayed there until 1994. The club struggled that badly in the 1930s that they changed club colours from green and yellow quarters to white, and every player had to bring their own white shirt !!

Fortunes improved over the years and Nomads contemplated moving to the Mid Cheshire League, but were constrained by a corner of the football pitch forming part of the cricket outfield. With the demise of the cricket section (tennis and hockey had already gone) the club stepped up to the Mid Cheshire League Division Two, and were crowned as champions in their first season.

Nomads consolidated in the First Division until they merged with Linotype FC in 2004. Linotype were in the same division of the now Cheshire League but were having problems retaining their facilities at The Silver Wings Club in Timperley. As a consequence the club changed its name to Linotype Cheadle Heath Nomads.

The merged club then prospered, winning the Cheshire League with a final day of the 2013/14 season 2-0 home win against Eagle Sports (yes I was here !!). Then, with the restructure of the North West Counties League for 2018/19, the club successfully applied for promotion to Division One South. It also provided an opportune time for the club to change its name back to Cheadle Heath Nomads FC in readiness for its centenary next year.

Eccleshall Town FC was established in 1908 but the most successful local team of that era was Eccleshall Comrades, set up in 1918. The Comrades' most famous player was the FA Cup Final scorer and winner (for Wolves), and England amateur and full international, The Reverend KRG Hunt. The club also featured in a curious incident when Stone Christ Church were defeated 5-0. The game ended 10 minutes early when first one ball burst, then another and there were no more available.......

Both clubs became defunct and the current club was reformed in 1971 as Eccleshall Town Old Boys, the team made up of locals and staff from Eccleshall Secondary School, where they played their home games.

The Eagles joined the Staffordshire County League (North) in 1979, moved to Pershall Park in 1982 and ascended to the Staffordshire Senior League in 1984. As Eccleshall FC championships were won in 1990 and then consecutively in 2001/02 and 2002/03. With work complete on the stadium the club moved up to the North West Counties Football League in 2003, but several seasons of inconsistency followed before two dreadful campaigns.

2015/16's 16th place finish owed much to the ineptitude of the two clubs below them - Atherton Laburnum Rovers and Whitchurch Alport. The following season the Eagles finished 21st with 18 points from 42 matches and conceded 145 goals. Relegation was only avoided because of an injury time equaliser in the 3-3 draw away at bottom club Ashton Town, who finished one point below Eccy, and the fact that only one club met the league's promotion criteria.

A much improved season last time saw a below midtable finish and safety, and a bit more pride in their boast of 'We Play For The Badge & The Oat Cakes - We Are Eccy !!!' This campaign has been dominated by the suicide of 21 year old player Jake Standbridge, an 11-3 home defeat in the league to Wythenshawe Town and an 11-2 away defeat in the Cup to Carlisle City the week after a 5-1 away win at New Mills.

So on a bitterly cold December afternoon it's out onto a busy Manchester Road and not long to wait for the first of this afternoon's registration plates GL11GGY - the other two today are LO53RSS and S50OLD.

Into Sale and past Indigo Sun, offering Ruby Collagen Boosters (?), the partially demolished Trafford Magistrates Court, TanZo-Go travel agents and then TOILETORIES. ELCTRICAL. at the long since closed T & T Pound Plus.

Joining the M60 it's five junctions till I pull off at Cheadle and turn down Carrs Road at Human Appeal. Then an absolute rabbit warren of a housing estate where I always get lost (today is no exception !!) before I reach Norbreck Avenue and Cheadle Heath Sports Club.

It is readily apparent that a huge amount of work has been done in the summer to allow Nomads to fulfil the promotion criteria. For a start there is now a substantial car park complete with some clueless parking !! Then there is a brand new turnstile - last season free, this season £5 admission. Inside fencing and railings have been installed, more of which anon.

The near side supports The Harrison-Welsh Pavilion, made up of the changing rooms, a serving hatch and two short rows of covered seats. To my left is another full size football pitch and there is a small Astroturf surface as well.

Opposite is a freshly constructed small all seater covered stand in between the two dugouts, and behind which lies residential houses. The top end is fenced off but in the corner is a shipping container, with a large flag draped over it - Stanno In Our Hearts, a tribute to Jake Standbridge.

Behind that is a wooded area and above it the railway line connecting Altrincham to Stockport. No passenger trains today as it's yet another Northern Fail strike day, instead a solitary freight train midway through the second half.

Nomads are in maroon and sky blue, Eccy in change red and white trim; the Eagles can only name three substitutes and come into the game on the back of a 9-4 cup mullering in midweek. So a goalless draw then ? It's a very youthful triumvirate of match officials too, with the linesman patrolling the touchline next to the main stand wearing gloves.

The opening quarter is dominated by Cheadle, forcing Eccy into a defensive switch. Leon Grandison goes closest for the home side, before a recycled corner sees Eagles' keeper Owen Wyatt make a superb point blank stop only to see Joe Hare tap home the rebound on 20 minutes.

However Nomads are operating a very high back line and have already survived a couple of tight offside calls. Third time lucky for Eccy as on the half hour Louis Downs races through unchallenged and dinks the ball over Aaron Tyrer to put the visitors level.

Shortly after we learn that this afternoon's half time raffle prize is a bottle of red wine, but that there will be big prizes for the home Boxing Day derby clash with Cheadle Town - maybe two bottles of red wine ?? In addition the railings next to the dugouts start to disintegrate under any sort of pressure, and the sole falls off one of the begloved linesman's boots.... Half time is reached at 1-1.

There is only one winner in the second half - Storm Deirdre. Horizontal freezing rain and a strong icy wind make conditions horrendous. The seven of us huddled in the stand are the only ones afforded any protection, with the Pavilion open to the elements.

The Eagles are playing against the wind and rain, but organise themselves well with one man up front, George Burslem, and nine behind the ball, hoping for scraps. Nomads struggle to break down the two defensive banks, creating only a chance for Keiran Herbert that is well saved by Wyatt and a 30 yard effort from Hare that hits the outside of the post. Then on 68 minutes Eccy break and a one two puts Downs in and he sweeps the ball past Tyrer to put the Eagles 2-1 up.

Nomads huff and puff but become more and more frustrated at their inability to carve out chances, and it seems inevitable Eccy will hold out and take home the three points. That is until the second minute of injury time when the Eagles concede a wholly unnecessary free kick by the corner flag. The ball is whipped in and sub Andy Simpson, on debut, heads in an unlikely, and probably unwarranted, equaliser.

Shortly after the referee blows for time, and the seven of us brave the weather. There are 20 paying spectators today, and 9 programmes, 2 lapel club badges and a lot of Bovril sold !! 

Rylands In Seventh Heaven - Ellesmere In Fowl Up

And so to Orford and the outskirts of Warrington and Gorsey Lane for my final North West Counties port of call, the Division One South clash between Rylands and Ellesmere Rangers.

Rylands Recreation Club was formed in 1911 as a local wire manufacturer works team. In its early days the club played in the Liverpool County Combination, before joining the Warrington & District League, where they won successive Premier Division Championships from 1955 to 1959.

Steady progress prompted the club to look to higher levels and Rylands moved to the Mid Cheshire (now Cheshire) League in 1969. Championships followed in 1981 and 1984, but thereafter the club suffered barren times.

In 2008 the club amalgamated with Crosfields to form a new club, Crosfields/ Rylands FC. Prior to the start of the 2012/13 season the club reverted back to Rylands FC, with the backing of a new sponsor, Triple S Sports & Entertainment Group – led by former Rylands player Paul Stretford.

Stretford, Wayne Rooney’s agent, now owns the club. It was his investment in ground improvements that saw the club promoted this summer into the North West Counties Division One South, notwithstanding an 11^th place finish, out of 15, in the Cheshire League. However the club have adapted well, sitting second with 12 wins from 16 and a goal difference of +36.

The away side in its present form was established in 1969 following a meeting in The Railway pub and was initially known as Railway Rangers; there have been football teams in the town of Ellesmere since the early 1900s.

Railway Rangers played in the Oswestry & District League but, after moving headquarters to the Market Hotel, changed name to Ellesmere Rangers FC in 1974. In the first season under their new name promotion to the Shrewsbury & West Shropshire League was achieved.

Rangers moved up to the Shropshire County League in the 1980s and, through winning the league in the 2003/04 season, earnt promotion to Division Two of the West Midlands (Regional) League. Promotions in consecutive seasons saw the club into the Premier Division and as champions in 2009/10 they secured promotion to the Midland Alliance.

Three years later Ellesmere were relegated back to the West Midlands where they remained until being transferred laterally to the North West Counties League Division One South at the end of last season – a move that Rangers have struggled to cope with, currently propping up the table with 6 points from 18 games.

Their club nickname is ‘The Meresiders’ referring to The Mere in the centre of Ellesmere (part of Shropshire’s ‘Lake District’), and the club badge depicts a swan to represent an affinity with the large number of these birds and the waterfowl that inhabit the local waterways.

And so on a grey, dreary Saturday afternoon it's an earlier start for the 2pm kick off. Over Altrincham Bridge (built 1765, widened 1850, widened 1907, rebuilt 1935) and a bridge still supporting an advertising hoarding for Kevin Junior 'Proffesional Barber' - yes indeed !!

Then past The Old Market Tavern, where rumours of its closure last night prompted a very necessary visit. In the event the pub's keys were handed over today, it will trade through Christmas but make way for housing - possibly for the homeless according to the rumour mill.

Then the haunted Orange Tree Inn next door and down to the M56 where I come off at Lymm Truck Stop. A brief foray up the M6 and a becalmed Thelwall and off at Woolston, still missing its Tree of Lost Soles. Registration plates this week are BU11YGN (Bullygun Bull Terriers), BL11NDS (Interior Curtain Centre) and OOO 321.......

Beyond Paddington House Hotel and then a right at the late and much unlamented Chevy's, going beyond Kwality Printer and The Button Boutique before parking up. A swift walk down Elaine Street brings me to Gorsey Lane and the attractions of Evolution of Man Barbers and ABC Guitars.

Rylands Recreation Club is on the right with the football club reached first. Beyond is the clubhouse, outside the ground, with a rather magnificent pavilion. There are several other grass and artificial pitches for football, cricket and rugby - the club is also home to Rylands Sharks RLFC.

£4 at the gate and inside the pitch resembles a mud bath; the walkway and surrounding rough ground faring not much better !! On the left are The Snack Shack and the Ian Finchett Pavillion (sic) - the latter actually housing the changing rooms. The top end is now fenced off, behind it waste land then the Liverpool to Manchester railway line. Only East Midlands Trains today because of yet another Northern Fail strike.

To my right is the small all seater covered Ron Stretford Stand with terraced housing in the background. The near end is open with car parking and an apartment block backing up to it. On both sides there are three bases installed, ready to accommodate the floodlights that will be erected eventually. Hence the 2pm start and the reason for Rylands being thrown out of the FA Vase, definitely their lowlight of the season......

As the rain begins to spit, Rylands are in all blue, Ellesmere in all yellow. The Meresiders can only name three substitutes, and the home team four, the latter because of a late injury. Matters are presided over by a very young referee and two elderly linesmen.

We also learn that the 76 year old groundhopper on the back row of the stand is notching up his 456th ground and is hoping for a 9-0 home win - his highest score so far an 8-1. I dare not mention the Barnton 11 Whitchurch Alport 1 match I attended three years ago....

It takes only six minutes for Rylands to move into the lead. Jay White easily outmuscles his defender and scuffs home past Rangers' keeper, Richard Cowderoy. White is sponsored by Knox Funeral Directors - presumably because he's good in the box ??!!

However it is another half an hour before Ellesmere concede again. Liam Moran wastes two good chances, dallying and then shooting straight at Cowderoy, and Tom Freeman plants a free header at a corner over the bar. Cowderoy makes a superb tip over from a Warren Gerrard strike, before Stu Wellstead gets in on the left and his gorgeous cross is headed home by White. The roles are reversed six minutes later; White's cross volleyed into the roof of the net by Wellstead for the goal of the half.

Bang on half time the Meresiders receive another blow as their captain, Seth Ellis, is shown a straight red card, twice, for a dangerous challenge (serious fowl play anyone ??!!) Confusion reigns and it all gets a bit ugly for a short while, so the referee whistles to bring the first half to a close.

Playing against ten men and three goals to the good, Rylands take a while to get going in the second period. We are just short of the hour when Freeman's lovely cross is headed in at the far post by White for his hat trick. Wellstead then contrives to balloon over a sitter from six yards but atones shortly after, laying the ball off for Ste Boardman to sidefoot into the corner for 5-0.

With nine minutes left sub Brad Williams gets wrong side of his man and is wrestled to the ground. Penalty kick and Rangers' defender James Furman lucky to escape with a yellow card. Cowderoy saves Boardman's spot kick, but Moran retrieves the rebound and squares for Williams to tap in, as the Ellesmere side stand and watch.

Just time for Fraser Ablett, son of Liverpool FC's Gary, to have a fizzing shot crash down from the underside of the crossbar before the game's final goal. Williams' floated free kick is glanced in by Boardman in injury time for a final score of 7-0, with the Meresiders failing to register a shot in the entire match.

A slightly disappointed groundhopper too, but the rest of the crowd of 76 went home happy as Rylands stay second, two points behind Abbey Hulton with three games in hand. Ellesmere remain rock bottom and appear doomed.