Fish and Chipps Twice !!!

 And so, on a weekend of other insignificant derbies, to the one that really matters - The Fish Derby at, appropriately enough, the Anchor Ground. The Salmoners of AFC Darwen host the Pikes of Pickering Town in the Buildbase FA Vase First Qualifying Round.

Darwen FC was formed in 1870 and was a member of the Football League between 1891 and 1899. In their first season they were relegated from the First Division, finishing 14th of 14, and becoming founder members of the new Second Division. In 1893, after finishing 3rd, they were promoted via the test matches (the Victorian version of the play offs !!), but relegated the following season.

 

In their final season as a league club they set two unwanted Football League records that still stand - the most number of consecutive League defeats (18) and the most number of goals conceded by a club in a Football League season (141). The club nickname, 'The Salmoners', is a throwback to the salmon and pink shirts they wore at this time.

 

After leaving the Football League the club moved from Barley Bank to the Anchor Ground, and joined the Lancashire League, which they won in 1902. They then entered the Lancashire Combination, playing there for the next 70 years (apart from a World War 1 break) and winning it four times.

 

After their last championship in 1976 the Salmoners joined the Cheshire County League before becoming inaugural members of the North West Counties Football League in 1982. In 2003 Carlsberg Tetley tried to wind up the football club but liquidation was avoided.

 

However in April 2008 another winding up petition from Bee radio station was joined by Thwaites Brewery and ING, and in May 2009 Darwen FC was liquidated. That same month AFC Darwen was formed, playing in the West Lancashire League for one season, before being re-elected to the North West Counties for the 2010/11 season, and winning promotion to the top division two seasons ago.

Pickering Town FC, the visitors from Mill Lane with an ‘unusual’ badge, was formed in 1888, the same year the Football League was founded. The Pikes for many years competed in the local Scarborough and York Leagues, before stepping up to the Yorkshire League in 1972.

 

The club became founder members of the Northern Counties East League in 1982 when the Yorkshire and Midlands Central Leagues merged. The Pikes' best finish was as runners up in the Premier Division in 1992/93, losing out to Spennymoor United on goal difference.

 

1998/99 was a terrible season as, following a 1-11 walloping by Bedlington Terriers in the FA Cup, the Pikes were relegated. Promoted back in 2001 Pickering reached the FA Vase quarter finals in the 2005/06 season, losing out to eventual winners, the Dabbers of Nantwich Town.

So passing the 12 foot giraffe and baby sculpture, part of Sale Art Zoo, then Heart for Art (coming soon !) it appears Elvis is making a comeback..... at Garveys... To the M60, smart motorway and only 14 vehicles ran out of fuel in August, before I join the M61 - where I resist the urge to pull over for 'Incontinence Supplies at Internet Prices'......

 

Just beyond Botany Bay and then the M65 leading to the Devil's Road, the A666, which takes me into Darwen. Onto the Anchor Estate where the Anchor Ground is situated, surrounded by housing on two sides and the Crown Paints facility on the other two.

 

Inside the dressing rooms are in one corner, whilst the clubhouse and snack bar is again the smart Howarth Timber & Building Supplies Stand. The other three sides are uncovered terracing (No Standing On The Grass !) with only a railing protecting the pitch. There is the ubiquitous shipping container behind the goal at the Darwen End, which is overlooked by Darwen Hill and the impressive octagonal Jubilee Tower, from where you can view five counties and the Isle of Man on a clear day.

Before kick off we're treated to firecrackers and fighter jets flying past in formation. Darwen are in all red and the Pikes in change lime green. Within ten seconds the Salmoners are on the attack, and Nick Hepple's low shot to the corner forces a good save. Three minutes in the Pikes net, with Robert Chipps scuffing his shot past home keeper Danny Jackson, after some awful defending.

 

The game is stretched but chances are few and far between, and starts to become niggly as both sides have penalty claims turned down. Pikes' captain Nial Tilsley is forced into a change of footwear and spends the rest of the half wearing one blue and one black boot - wonder whether that will catch on ??

 

The second half sees Tilsley wearing two blue boots and a fairly mundane start until, after great work from Ged Dalton, Chipps scores with a wondrous finish into the top corner. The Salmoners take the game to the Pikes and almost immediately pull one back as Hepple, clearly offside, bursts through and scores at the second time of asking. This one of a series of baffling decisions from the referee and his assistants ('It's embarrassing').....

 

The comeback is almost complete when Hepple's acrobatic and thunderous volley hits the underside of the bar with twenty minutes to go. Sixty seconds later he is dismissed for a second yellow card for dissent.

 

The Pikes weigh Anchor and comfortably repel the Salmoners in the final twenty minutes. Ryan Blott has the opportunity to seal the victory with a couple of minutes remaining but, having rounded Jackson, hits the post and sees his follow up smuggled off the line. It is immaterial and the Pikes avoid extra time and go through as 2-1 winners.

No Magic From The Druids - A Match Already Consigned To Ancients History...

And so to The Rock for a Welsh Premier League match between last season's two promoted teams, Cefn Druids AFC and Cardiff Metropolitan University FC.

Cefn Druids, 'The Ancients', is the oldest football club in Wales. In 1872 Plasmadoc FC, founded three years earlier, became Druids (ancient mystic men of Celtic civilisation) when the various colliery and quarry teams around Ruabon and Cefn Mawr were brought together under one banner.

 

In 1876 the Druids entered the FA Cup - the first Welsh club to do so - and in 1877 contested the very first Welsh Cup game. The club won the Welsh Cup in three consecutive seasons between 1880 and 1882, and have won the competition 8 times in all.

 

The Ancients joined the first Welsh league in 1890, and in 1920 merged, first with Rhosymedre to be called Rhosymedre Druids, and then with Acrefair United in 1923 to become Druids United. Enthusiasm had waned by the 1980s as the Druids were being outstripped by local rivals Cefn Albion (established in 1967). Another merger in 1992 between these two clubs saw Cefn Druids AFC born, playing at Plaskynaston and adopting the white and black colours of the original Plasmadoc.

 

The club was rebranded as Flexsys Cefn Druids in 1998 and that season saw them crowned as champions of the Cymru Alliance earning promotion to the League of Wales. Subsequent sponsorship deals saw the club renamed NEWI Cefn Druids, after the North East Wales Institute of Higher Education, and then Elements Cefn Druids before reverting back to Cefn Druids in 2010.

 

The Ancients dropped down to the Cymru Alliance as the new 12 team Welsh Premier League was born in 2010 and moved from Plaskynaston, showing its age and now a supermarket, to The Rock. In 2012 the club were Welsh Cup runners up, reaching the final for the first time in 108 years, which brought a brief foray into Europa League football.

 

In 2014 Druids were promoted to the Welsh Premier League but lasted only one season before being relegated. Last season's Cymru Alliance champions Caernarfon Town were deprived of a Welsh Premier League license, as they officially did not exist as a legal entity having failed to file accounts in August 2015. In the ensuing fiasco runners up Cefn were promoted back to the Welsh Premier League.

The visitors, 'The Archers' of Cardiff Metropolitan University FC, were formed from a series of mergers and name changes.

 

It all started with Lake United renaming themselves AFC Cardiff in 1984. In 1990 the club was taken over by Sully FC to form Inter Cardiff FC, which became Inter CableTel AFC in 1996. This club represented Wales in the old UEFA Cup three times, including playing Celtic in the 1997/98 season.

 

In 2000 a merger with UWIC (University of Wales Institute, Cardiff) produced UWIC Inter Cardiff which became Cardiff Metropolitan University FC in 2012. The Archers, or unofficially known as The International, The Sheep (!) or The Div's (Car-DIFF), then won three promotions in four seasons to reach the Welsh Premier League.

Setting out, it's past the giant carved wooden eagle at the dental practice on Manchester Road and then through Altrincham town centre with its £16,000 4 metre monolith aka vanity project that tells us Altrincham has been a market town since 1290, complete with spelling mistake.....

 

Then on to the M56 with Bank Holiday and Creamfields traffic before a becalmed Stanlow refinery - the wind turbines seem to have multiplied but still aren't working ! ! Skirting the Welsh border, I pull off into the village of Rhosymedre and drive up to The Rock, standing imperiously above the village, and it's closed.... A quick peek through the locked gates reveals a pitch that looks like rubble - the Druids' new synthetic pitch has yet to be laid down.

So it's nine miles down the A5, avoiding the flat bed truck carrying a tractor and towing a caravan which is causing chaos !! Over the Llangollen Canal, past Artillery Business Park and down Burma Road to The Venue at Park Hall, home of The New Saints. Disappointingly the former Grandad's Cafe advertising 'Ugly Staff, Beautiful Food' is now just Cafe L

 

The Venue at Park Hall, just outside Oswestry is a ten pin bowling and gym complex with a hospitality suite that leads through to a large balcony and seats overlooking the half way line. Next to it is a poor neighbour stand that covers the rest of the touchline, but the Black Hawk Laser Games behind it looks enticing....

 

At the far end is another stand that begins at the corner flag, continues behind the goal and then stops rather abruptly at the 18 yard line. Bizarrely, opposite the main stand, there is a further narrow mini grandstand that houses the press box on the second tier, the subs' benches on the first tier and the technical area on the ground and, er, that's it. The rest of the ground is flanked by trees - we are in the countryside after all !

 

The Ancients are in black and white stripes, their keeper in electric orange. The visitors, managed by Professor Robyn Jones, are in all maroon with a seagull on their badge, a throwback to the Sully connection - their nickname was 'The Seagulls'.

 

The first half is frankly a disappointment - and that's an understatement. The Druids' Aaron Bowen has the best chance, set free but with a slight tug from Met's captain Bradley Woolridge, shoots wastefully wide. Debutant Ashley Ruane has a shot deflected wide for the home side, whilst Cardiff, despite the promptings and pace of Charlie Corsby and Eliot Evans, barely create a half chance. And so 'After a goalless first half, the half time score is nil-nil' (courtesy Brian Moore).

 

The second half is marginally less frustrating. Ruane draws a good save from Met keeper Will Fuller and then substitute Adam Roscrow enters the fray for the Archers - which means the away side's 11 players on the pitch are wearing numbers 1 to 11.

 

The visitors show why they have yet to score this season as, having carved out the best opportunity of the game, a goalmouth scramble sees three powderpuff efforts cleared off the line with the goal gaping. Ben Bowler's 35 yard effort is tipped over as Cardiff look the more likely, with Druids only mustering a wild swipe over the bar in response. Ultimately though the game fizzles out having never really caught light and the match finishes goalless.

 

Very much a case of little ado about nothing nothing...... J

 

Less than 24 hours later The New Saints hosted Rhyl – the final result a 10-0 home victory……..

Admirals Sunk As Nelson Meet Their Trafalgar...

And so to the magic of the FA Cup, and fittingly to Little Wembley, otherwise known as Victoria Park, the home of Nelson FC. The Admirals (it couldn't be anything else !!) welcome the Bishops, Bishop Auckland FC, in the FA Cup Preliminary Round.

Nelson FC was founded in 1881, joining the Lancashire League in 1889 and becoming champions in 1896. The club folded during the 1898/99 season and was expelled by the Lancashire FA. Having rejoined the League in 1900, the club again closed down in 1916 with bailiffs called in.

 

Having reformed in 1918 and entered the Central League, the Admirals became founder members of the Football League Division 3 North in 1921. Promotion to Division 2 followed in 1923, and the side embarked on a Spanish preseason tour which saw them beat Real Madrid 4-2 !

 

Sadly the club was relegated after only one season, and against a backdrop of struggling form, falling attendances and growing debt (even a fund raising carnival lost £20 !) the team finished bottom of the League in 1931. They failed to win re-election and were replaced by Chester City. Having dropped into the Lancashire Combination the Admirals folded once more in August 1936 due to crippling debts.

 

Hastily reformed as Nelson Town the new club entered the local Nelson & Colne League in which they played up to the start of World War II. After a further reformation in 1946 and rejoining the Lancashire Combination, the Admirals were crowned champions in 1950 and again in 1952, the latter under the stewardship of Joe Fagan, who went on to manage Liverpool.

 

In 1971 the football club moved from its Seedhill base, home since 1905 and which also hosted the Nelson Admirals speedway team, to Victoria Park. Seedhill became a stock car racing venue, but was all but demolished when the M65 was built.

 

Nelson FC became a founder member of the North West Counties Football League in 1982 but was evicted in 1988 due to ground grading requirement failures. A four year sojourn in the West Lancashire League ended with readmittance to the NWCFL as Victoria Park, or Little Wembley as the locals christened it, was upgraded. The Admirals resigned from the league in 2010 but after a 12 month 'sabbatical' returned and were promoted to the Premier Division in 2014.

For Bishop Auckland it all started when theological students from Oxford and Cambridge Universities, whilst studying at Auckland Castle (the home of the Bishop of Durham in Bishop Auckland) formed a team known as Bishop Auckland Church Institute in 1882.

 

A later dispute caused a breakaway team to be formed - Auckland Town - in 1886/87. It was from this upheaval that Bishop Auckland FC was born. The club chose the light and dark blue colours of the original Church Institute, representing the colours of Oxbridge - and giving rise to their alternative nickname 'The Two Blues'.

 

Auckland Town was a founder member of the Northern League in 1889 but left after one season, returning in 1893 as Bishop Auckland. Between 1893 and 1988 the Bishops won the league championship a record 19 times and reached the old FA Amateur Cup 18 times, winning the Cup on 10 occasions. There was a famous double in 1938/39 with future Liverpool player and manager Bob Paisley playing at right back in the team. When the FA Amateur Cup competition ceased in 1974 the club was presented with a replica of the trophy in recognition of its outstanding record.

 

The Bishops entered the Northern Premier League in 1988, staying for 18 seasons, before reverting back to the Northern League. This was mainly due to ground issues, as the team moved from its spiritual home at Kingsway, and following groundshares at Shildon, Spennymoor and West Auckland, moved to the purpose built Heritage Park in October 2010 thus befitting the club motto 'Tempori Parendum' (One must move with the times).

Onto Washway Road, past WAGS (that's Wash And Groom Salon for dogs - insert your own joke !) and then to Barton Bridge and inevitable queues for the Trafford Centre and Chill Factore. Smart motorway but the signs inform us that '27 vehicles ran out of fuel in July' - not so smart !!

 

The M66 sees the landscape a mass of wind turbines under leaden grey skies as I pass a trundling van proclaiming itself 'The Cafe at the End of the Universe'...... Off the M65 and past the Thatch & Thistle, the old ground at Seedhill and down into a curious industrial estate on the outskirts of Nelson which also features terraced housing.

 

Little Wembley - well to be honest I'm not seeing the resemblance...... Victoria Park is bordered by trees on two sides in surrounding parkland. Along one side there is a tidy low roofed wooden stand, with its green seats, although the multitude of wooden supports makes viewing difficult. Opposite are the dugouts behind which are the back gardens of the houses on Holme Terrace and a chimney rising out of the industrial units. The clubhouse and changing rooms are behind the goal at the top end of the ground whilst the Admirals Executive Lounge is a rusting portacabin....

Despite the gloomy weather predictions of heavy rain, the black clouds race past leaving the tie to kick off in blustery but sunny conditions. The Admirals are in blue with white sleeves, and their goalkeeper in salmon, whilst the Bishops are in change lurid fluorescent lime - truly shocking !!

 

Within two minutes the Admirals lead as centre back Richard Cowan heads home from a corner. Thereafter the Bishops are sloppy, enjoying plenty of possession but with no incision and frequently caught offside. Obdurate home defending limits the away side to a routine save from Andrew Johnson whilst Chris Winn shoots narrowly over from distance, and Michael Hoganson's free kick is just wide.

 

Little has been seen from the home team, content to frustrate, until Zak Dale's mesmerising run takes him beyond three defenders, rounding the keeper before his shot is hacked off the line. And then the Bishops' prayers are answered as just before the break a diagonal ball finds Hoganson who lays the ball onto Johnson, and his low shot finds the corner of the net for the equaliser.

 

The second half is one of total dominance for the roused visitors. Within ten minutes the tie is as good as over as Hoganson is given another opportunity from a free kick and finds the top corner this time. Shortly after a corner is played to the edge of the box and Jeff Smith volleys home magnificently.

 

One more goal seals the deal for the Bishops - a penalty area shambles featuring a mishit shot, pinball defending and Andre Bennett has three bites of the cherry before smashing the ball home for a 4-1 victory for Bishop Auckland. Little Wembley’s Wembley dream over for another year….. J

Diddy Men Serve Up Bollox and Are Derailed By Super Marine !!

And so to Loop Meadow and a bonus long weekend to see the Evostik South Division Division 1 South & West curtain raiser between Didcot Town and Swindon Supermarine.

 

Didcot Town Football Club was formed in 1907 from the merger of Didcot Village FC and Northbourne Wanderers, and boasts four club nicknames - Diddy, The Railwaymen, The Artillerymen and The Gunners. Initially playing in the North Berkshire Junior League, Diddy set up an offshoot team in 1923 - Didcot Wednesday - for those players who couldn't play on Saturdays due to work commitments, but had a half day off on Wednesdays instead.

 

By 1927 the club had moved to the Reading & District League and the 1953/54 season saw the creation of the Hellenic League, with the Railwaymen crowned champions in its inaugural season. Despite moving to the Metropolitan League in 1957, the club reverted back to the Hellenic in 1963.

 

As part of the redevelopment of Didcot town centre, ahead of the 1999/2000 season, the club relocated from the old Station Road ground (now Sainsburys car park !) to the magnificent new Loop Meadow stadium the other side of the railway tracks. The new stadium saw a change in fortunes, with the Artillerymen winning the FA Vase, beating AFC Sudbury 3-2 at White Hart Lane in 2005. The league title was lost by one point - that one point being a deduction for fielding an ineligible player.

 

However Diddy won the Hellenic League the following season to be promoted to the Southern League South & West. In 2009 the club was promoted to the Southern Premier but were relegated two seasons later, after losing 6 points following the demise of Windsor & Eton FC who they had beaten twice. Last season's mid table finish did, however, see the club's best ever FA Cup run, culminating in a televised First Round game against Exeter City, with the League 2 side winning 3-0.

Swindon Supermarine, 'The Marine', the visitors from the Webbs Wood Stadium, was established in 1992 from the merger of two troubled clubs in the Hellenic League - Supermarine FC and Swindon Athletic FC.

 

Supermarine FC was set up in 1946 from the social club of the Supermarine aircraft company famous for the Supermarine Spitfire aeroplane. Originally called Vickers Armstrong, then shortened to Vickers, the club played in the Swindon & District League before becoming founder members of the Wiltshire League. Thereafter the club moved up to the Hellenic League but were bottom of Division 1 at the time of the merger.

 

Swindon Athletic FC was founded in 1968 as Penhill FC, changing name in 1989. Also Wiltshire League founder members, the club ascended to the Hellenic in 1985 but was facing ground grading failure when the two clubs merged.

 

The new merged club won the Hellenic League in the 1997/98 season but was not promoted due to ground requirements. Three years later, again as champions, the Marine was accepted into the Southern League South & West and promoted to the Premier in 2007.

 

2010 saw a £50,000 funding shortfall and the very existence of the club hung by a thread until a supporters' consortium took over. Last season Supermarine reached the play offs, matching the 2013 term (after relegation the season before), but failure to achieve promotion has seen a wholesale change in playing personnel.

So Thursday and it's a slight detour to see the mini giraffe sculpture that forms part of Sale Art Zoo and then eschewing this week's must have offer from the Tyre Warehouse - a free bag of carrots with every tyre purchased.... Then on to the patchwork M6, and a welcome return of the PIES graffiti - now outed as a mythical Merseyside anti-heroes band, and due to release their debut album after three decades.......

 

It's a journey featuring smart motorway, broken down vehicles, lorries afire, burning trees, discarded fenders, plenty of rain and long delays. Three and a quarter hours later we finally arrive.

 

Friday brings better weather and a walk into the dreaming spires of Oxford. A brief stop at The Four Candles, and yes it is named after that iconic Two Ronnies sketch J On the wall are two fork handles and four candles....  Avoiding the cyclists, it's a trip to the Ashmolean Museum, then taking in the Sheldonian Theatre, Bodleian Library, Bridge of Sighs, Radcliffe Camera and finishing atop the Castle Mound at Oxford Castle, all the while marvelling at the historical attractions.

 

Saturday sees glorious sunshine - it is the first day of the football season after all - and a trip down the A34 to Didcot. After a fruitless search for a disabled space, and three car parks later, we eventually arrive at Didcot Railway Centre - and Steam Day !!

 

After travelling down both lines I take my leave and head for the Draycott Engineering Loop Meadow Stadium. I know needs must but Loop Meadow just sounds so much better.... Under the railway, onto the one way Cow Lane and then round the Ladygrove Loop, past an abandoned travellers ' site and to Bowmont Water, home to Oak Lane Health Centre, Willow Brook Leisure Centre and, of course, the Loop.

 

Inside the gorgeous sun beating down can be no excuse for a bare looking pitch. Entrance is by the main all seater stand, and to the right are two small seated covered stands in the corners, bisected by a covered terrace and a backdrop of the Railway Centre and the West Coast Main Line.

 

The far side supports a walkway and the dugouts, backed by Ladygrove Park and, on the hill, a bench overlooking the pitch - with several interested onlookers. To the left is a tree lined end, behind which is the travellers' site.

With the sun beating down, a bird of prey rising with the thermals in a cloudless sky and the hissing and whistling of steam trains in the background, the season is underway. Diddy are in red and white with keeper Leigh Bedwell in all white and Marine, appropriately, in all blue ! We also learn that Diddy's underwear sponsors are Bollox - yes, really......

 

Marine's captain Bradley Gray nearly hits the corner flag with the game's first effort but on 7 minutes we have the first goal. Gray's lovely through ball to strike partner Connor Waldon sees him flick it past his marker and score with a rasping left foot drive. Diddy's response has captain Adam Learoyd's header well saved by Marine custodian Connor Johns.

 

Waldon scores his second with a slight deflection after a drinks break, and Johns makes a fine save one on one from Diddy's Ryan Brooks. Waldon gets his hat trick just before the break, beating Bedwell with a brave header.

 

An open first half, far too open if you're a Didcot fan, finishes with Marine 3-0 up. Diddy caught with their pants down - or just plain Bollox ? The tannoy remains completely silent throughout the break.

 

The second half brings threats of a Diddy fightback thanks to the hard running of Brooks and fellow striker Ben Whitehead, but Johns remains relatively untroubled. The game becomes stretched as players tire in the heat and just before the hour Callum Parsons is teed up by Gray for the visitors' fourth.

 

We are then treated to a display of 18 gliders in the sky and a flurry of substitutions. Two of the visitors' replacements combine - Dan Martin put through hits the post but fellow substitute Lewis Thompson mops up to make it 5-0.

 

Finally in the 90th minute Diddy break their duck as Whitehead heads home a redirected corner for a home side consolation. Utter silence, bewilderment, then 'Christ we've scored' and then rather apologetic applause.....before the referee draws the veil on a 5-1 away victory.

 

Just time for a quick visit to Witney and, opposite the butter cross in the market square, a brief stop at the Company of Weavers, a nod to the town's traditional industry of blanket making. Then, thankfully, a less eventful journey home !

Terminally Rhyl - New Saints' Miracle fails to arrive...

And so to the Corbett Sports Stadium, midway through a three year sponsorship deal, and otherwise known as Belle Vue, the home of Rhyl FC (Clwb Pel Droed Y Rhyl) for a Champions' League decider between The New Saints and Slovan Bratislava. 

The New Saints are Wales' last survivors in Europe (slightly ironic since they play in England but more anon) and lost the first leg 1-0 in Slovakia. The club was formed as Llansantffraid FC in Wales in 1959, and changed their name to Total Network Solutions for the 1997/8 season following a sponsorship deal - few of us will ever forget Jeff Stelling's catchphrase 'They'll be dancing in the streets of Total Network Solutions tonight' after another victory ! In 2003 the club merged with Oswestry and moved over the English border, with UEFA dispensation.

The current club badge reflects the club's background - half dragon and half lion with both towns named. After BT bought Total Network Solutions in 2006, the club became The New Saints and moved to its current home 'The Venue at Park Hall', which is not UEFA compliant - and hence the venue change to Rhyl. 

Slovan Bratislava are the current Slovak champions and indeed won the old European Cup Winners' Cup against Barcelona in 1969. They boast Robert Vittek, Slovakia's highest goalscorer (23 goals, 80 caps), in their squad, and three nicknames (greedy !) - Belasi  (Sky Blues), Krali Bratislavy (Kings of Bratislava) and, wait for it, Jastrabi z Tehelneto pola (The Hawks from Brickfield) ! 

A glorious Tuesday morning kicks off with an accident on the Chester Road before joining the motorway, passing the belching fumes of Stanlow and then joining the A55 for fabulous views of the Great Orme and Snowdonia. We reject the sign for 'Boat Jumble' and turn off past the pretty Rhuddlan Castle and enter Rhyl, which is a riot of colourful blooms. 

We park on Patagonia Avenue, alongside the well kept and attractive Botanical Gardens, although rather let down by the bowling green sign 'Members Only - Please Keep Of The Grass' (sic) and then pass the superbly named Sun of a Beach tanning salon before emerging by the legendary (?) Rhyl Sun Centre on the front.  A quick look at the RNLI lifeboat and then a walk on the glorious Prestatyn Sands is in order before we return to a quiet Rhyl, surprising given it's the holiday season, slightly tatty in the centre and with several development opportunities and sites of partial demolition. 

One oddity is the 250 ft Rhyl Sky Tower on the sea front, bizarrely transported from the 1988 Glasgow Garden Festival, and now cordoned off amidst safety fears. 

Then it's further down the coast to Kinmel Bay, past the Breaks Family Entertainment Centre which holds no appeal despite the name ! We cross over the impressive new Pont y Ddraid bridge at Foryd harbour and walk across Kinmel dunes to the edge of Towyn - a landscape dominated by vast wind farms in one direction and huge static caravan parks in the other - we see a solitary parascender and a single microlight. Lunch is lamb cawl and we pass the National Crown Green Bowling Centre on the way back to the ground - but it, too, could do with a lick of paint, and the comment of the 'Wembley of Bowls' is rather inapt.......... 

Belle Vue holds 3,000 with all bar 300 seated. The main Don Spendlove Stand, named after Rhyl's 629 goal local legend, houses the majority of fans and UEFA delegates. At either end are the Lilywhites Legends bar and canteen, and the NWPS Stand, three rows of seats, sponsored metal struts and a lot of  hidden rubble.....The final stand, with yellow and green seats as opposed to the blue ones elsewhere in the stadium, is again the Botanical Gardens and houses the away fans and a TV gantry.  

Despite a steep £20 ticket charge, there's a crowd of 1140 made up of a mix of locals, holidaymakers, groundhoppers, TNS fans, random Slavs and 200-250 raucous Slovan fans - including their Ultras 'Belasa slachti' and Ultras Slovan Pressburg. They arrive complete with banners proclaiming Fight United and showing a hooded man, armed with baseball bat and giving the finger.....  

The match kicks off at 18.45 so TNS don't need to use the floodlights (rather than kick off being changed to accommodate live Slovakian television !), and TNS are the better team in the first half, but aside from one moment early on when the ball drifts away they do not trouble the Slovaks. 

Slovan are sloppy, giving the ball away frequently, but pose more of a threat, forcing one good save from TNS custodian Harrison and hitting the top of the crossbar from a corner. 

The second half sees Slovan change the pace and start to control the game - Soumah's tricky feet and quick movement dominating the proceedings until his withdrawal due to cramp, and leading to a chance for Marko Milinkovic from a great crossfield ball, but his dinked chip lands on the roof of the net.

However the Serb is not to be denied as his shot, following a corner, through a crowd of players past an unsighted keeper and with a slight deflection gives Slovan the lead on 74 minutes. Cue further hysterical singing and chest beating from the away contingent - and it gets better on full time as Milinkovic's exquisite free kick from just outside the penalty area clips the inside of the near post and goes in - unsavable. A valiant attempt from the Saints again but class told in the end - TNS 0 Slovan 2 finalizado

Terminally Rhyl - De Blaa Blaa Blaa....

 

Before the Nomads, Connah's Quay FC was founded in 1890 and disbanded after a second Welsh Cup final loss in 1911. Connah's Quay & Shotton was then formed in 1920 and beat Cardiff, featuring several players in the team that beat Arsenal in the 1927 FA Cup Final, in the 1929 Welsh Cup Final. Six months later the club went bust....

 

The existing club was formed in July 1946 as Connah's Quay Juniors, and a senior team was formed and joined the Flintshire League in 1948. Prior to the 1952/53 season the club's suffix changed to Nomads; the Nomads joined the Welsh League (North) and, despite returning to local leagues for 7 years, rejoined it in 1966. In 1974 the club joined the newly formed Clwyd League and, following 3 successful seasons in the Welsh Alliance, became founder members of the Cymru Alliance in 1990 then the League of Wales two seasons later.

 

The Nomads, an odd name for a club that had spent 51 seasons at the Halfway Ground, moved after a season of groundsharing at Rhyl to its current home, the Deeside Stadium in 1998. After bereavements and retirements the club was taken over by gap personnel in June 2008 to become gap Connah's Quay Nomads.

 

2010 saw the club narrowly miss out on the cut off for the Super 12 League - thus the club began the 2010/11 season in the Cymru Alliance which they won the following season but were deprived of promotion after failing to gain a domestic license. Notwithstanding this setback the Nomads were again crowned Cymru Alliance champions in 2013 and this time ascent to the Welsh Premier League was granted.

 

 Stabaek Fotball, the visitors from the Nadderud Stadium, are based in Baerum, voted the best place to live in Norway. The club was established on 16 March 1912 and forms part of the multi sport organisation Stabaek IF.

 

De Blaa (The Blue Ones - after their all blue strip) won the Norwegian Cup in 1998 and the Tippeligaen (Norwegian Premier League) in 2008. After finishing third last season to qualify for the Europa League, this term sees them lying next to bottom with 9 defeats in 13 games and pressure mounting on manager Billy McKinlay - David Moyes' assistant at Real Sociedad.

A glorious Thursday morning quickly fades to grey as we join the M56, passing the belching fumes of Stanlow and becalmed wind turbines. Then onto the A55 for fabulous views of the Great Orme and Snowdonia, we turn off past pretty Rhuddlan Castle and enter Rhyl.

 

We park by Patagonia Avenue, alongside the well kept and attractive Botanical Gardens, home of Sunny Rhyl Bowls Club, a blizzard of prohibition and warning signs, muted floral colour and a carved wooden bear. Then past the superbly named Sun of a Beach tanning salon before emerging by the world famous (?) Rhyl Sun Centre - now closed (gutted !!) - on the front.

 

Beyond the Pavilion Theatre, a quick look at the RNLI lifeboat and views of the glorious Prestatyn Sands before we return to a quiet Rhyl, surprising given it's the holiday season, slightly tatty in the centre and with several development opportunities and sites of partial demolition. One oddity is the 250 ft Rhyl Sky Tower on the sea front, bizarrely transported from the 1988 Glasgow Garden Festival, and now cordoned off amidst safety fears.

Then it's further down the coast to Kinmel Bay, past the Breaks Family Entertainment Centre which holds no appeal despite the name ! We cross over the impressive new Pont y Ddraid bridge at Foryd harbour and a walk across Kinmel dunes to the edge of Towyn - a landscape dominated by vast wind farms in one direction and huge static caravan parks in the other. Lunch is faggots and a pint of Beachcomber Blonde. We pass the Wales Crown Green Bowling Centre on the way back to the ground - but given the overgrown state of one of the greens the comment of the 'Wembley of Bowls' is rather inapt..........

 

Belle Vue holds 3,000 with all bar 300 seated. The main Don Spendlove Stand, named after Rhyl's 629 goal local legend, houses the majority of fans and UEFA delegates. At either end are the Lilywhites Legends bar and canteen and the NWPS Stand. The final stand, with yellow and green seats as opposed to the blue ones elsewhere in the stadium, is again the Botanical Gardens and houses the away fans and a TV gantry.

The match begins in teeming rain with the 40 or so Norwegian fans singing raucously from behind their Ultras 1912 and Inferno 99 banners. The Nomads are in all red, and De Blaa naturally in all blue, sponsored by Smartfish Muscle Recharge..... Their Indian international goalkeeper, Gurpreet Singh Sandhu is in all white. The match is refereed by Johnny Casanova, who spreads the love by only booking one player (Mr Disney), and is ably assisted by linesman Mr Tuttifrutti - and no I'm not making this up !!

 

Nomads start much the better with Michael Wilde having two goals disallowed - the second a tight offside call as he beats the flapping Sandhu to head home. Sandhu is subsequently substituted due to a suspected broken thumb; his replacement, Mande Sayouba from Cote d'Ivoire, inspires little more confidence.

 

Callum Morris goes close and Stabaek, with 73% possession, pass, pass and pass with no end product. Their first effort is a 41st minute shot well over from Ghana international Kamal Issah, whilst number 99, Ohikhuaeme Omoijuanfo, provides a rather flaky performance....

 

The second half is that bad that it isn't even within hailing distance of awful - like watching a game of chess ! Rumours that the S4C highlights were cancelled and a cartoon shown instead prove unfounded, though.....

 

There is one chance for the Nomads with Wilde through one on one with Sayouba who makes a comfortable save. De Blaa also fashion one opportunity with Jeppe Arctander Moe's cushioned cross tucked away by Albanian forward Agen Mehmeti - but the former is offside. Two wild shots close proceedings on a damp squib of a match.

 

Next week's return visit to see the Lakesiders of Bala Town play Swedish club AIK Solna has to be better.....

Red Rebels Leave Athletic Marooned - Ashes to Ashes !

And so to May Bank Holiday and a trip to Brocstedes Park in Ashton-in-Makerfield. It's a vital end of season game between tenants St Helens Town who host Hanley Town in the North West Counties Division One.

The sky is grey and heavy, like a pile of wet towels, as I set out on what should be a fairly straightforward trip up the M6. It becomes a circus on Thelwall viaduct with a Warburtons Bakery lorry, in the fast lane on the opposite carriageway, catching fire and providing hours of rubbernecking for those travelling north. Once past it's up to Bryn Interchange at junction 25, and then down a dirt track (not the AA recommended route !!) to Brocstedes Park.

It's a vital match because it's the last one of the regular season for the Saints and a must win to reach the play offs. Hanley can be crowned as champions if they win today. Recognising its importance Saints' main sponsor Johnsons Toyota Liverpool are offering free admission to the first 100 adult spectators through the turnstiles.

I arrive at quarter to three, in brilliant sunshine, to be met by Big John and told that the match has been postponed five minutes earlier due to waterlogging. The major problem seems to be the rain filled ruts in the centre of the pitch - a problem exacerbated by the incredulous decision to fulfil Ashton Athletic's game in February against Alsager in monsoon conditions, which has caused massive damage to the pitch.

So a return to the M6 which helpfully informs me that there are traffic problems between junctions 15 and 10 on the M60, but nothing about the ongoing chaos at Thelwall. The fire has been severe enough to burn off the tarmac so resurfacing is required meaning lane closures and long delays - bravo !!!

Fast forward 24 hours and a repeat visit to Brocstedes Park to see Ashton Athletic play Abbey Hey in the North West Counties Premier - hopefully !!

Ashton Athletic was founded in 1968 playing in the Wigan Sunday League, winning every Division in consecutive seasons before switching to the Warrington League on Saturdays where similar success was achieved. 'The Ashes' or 'Ash' developed Brocstedes Park and joined the Lancashire Combination at the start of the 1978/79 season.

Initially they struggled and finished bottom, and this struggle continued for three more seasons before The Ashes became founder members of the North West Counties in 1982 - and finished bottom. Having finished in last place twice more, Ash left the league in 1986 after failing the ground grading.

The club joined the Manchester League for the 1988/89 season and, after finding their place towards the bottom of the table, started to gradually improve. In 2006 they finished 4th and, following a two year campaign to reach the required ground standards, the Ashes rejoined the second tier of the North West Counties. A season later the club achieved third place and was promoted to the Premier Division.

Abbey Hey FC hail from the Abbey Stadium, and not the one in Cambridge ! Their Abbey Stadium is to be found on Goredale Avenue in Gorton, M18.

The visitors date back to 1902 when they formed as Abbey Hey WMC, but the club has disbanded and reformed on a number of occasions. In 1998 they moved from the Manchester League to the North West Counties and were promoted in that first season to their current level.

The club previously played at St Werburghs Road under an arrangement with Lookers, who reneged on the deal two years in. The Red Rebels then moved to Godfrey's, named after local councillor Godfrey Ermen, and after two seasons on the old English Steel site, took up residence at the Abbey in 1984.

And so indeed 24 hours later leads to a glorious spring evening, light motorway traffic and after a trip down the rutted driveway, matching the pitch, to the car park - and a game of football at Brocstedes Park :)

Brocstedes Park is essentially a converted farmer's field and fairly basic, aside from the fantastic facilities in the clubhouse, which is immediately to the left on entry. There are two small covered stands bisecting the dugouts, two open ends and the far side has a mini pitch, under water yesterday, and the M6 behind - there is a lone photographer on that touchline, but he could be doubling up as a lorry spotter !!

Ash are in their traditional yellow and the Red Rebels are in, er, maroon.... Both sides hit the woodwork early on; Abbey Hey from a cross cum shot whilst Ashton's left back is collapsed in a heap having collided with the metal railing surrounding the pitch, and Ash's Isaac Kusaloka hitting the outside of the post after some fairly shabby goalkeeping.

But it's typical end of season fare and a mundane first half sees only one further incident. A hopeful ball into the channels sees Rebels' centre back Andrew Smith stumble in the ruts, go down in instalments, and sets Kusaloka free. He bears down on goal, draws the keeper and squares for Heath Ainscow to score into an empty net and leave the Ashes 1-0 up at half time.

Perhaps with one eye on the home local derby against Atherton Collieries 48 hours later, the home side barely feature in the second half. The Red Rebels start to make inroads, and eventually Ashford Blake equalises at close range from a Jack Tinning cross.

Then a fantastic through ball from Abbey's Nico Collins leaves Sam Hind free and he scores confidently to put the Red Rebels in front, with the visitors comfortably seeing out the dying embers of the game. :)