Bullets Fire Blanks As United Sing The Blues - But Nearly Pay The Penalty !

And so to the Wood Park Stadium, formerly The Town Ground, in the small Cheshire town of Alsager as the home side, Alsager Town, take on Winsford United - almost a local derby with just 16 miles between the clubs - in the North West Counties Football League Division One this afternoon.

Alsager Town are known as The Bullets, after the former Royal Ordnance Factory (now BAE Systems) in the nearby hamlet of Radway Green producing small arms ammunition for the British armed forces. The club was formed in 1965 as Alsager FC from the merger of Alsager Institute and Alsager United, with the current ground acquired in 1967.

The Bullets' 50 year journey has incorporated four name changes - 1973 Alsager Town, 1986 Alsager United, back to Alsager FC in 1988 and then to Town again in 2001. Initially starting in the Crewe League, the club joined the Mid Cheshire League for the start of the 1971/2 season and stayed there until being forced out of business in 1988 due to a lack of funds and poor support.

The club reformed after a season's absence in 1989 and started again in the Crewe League, then the Mid Cheshire, before spending one season in the Springbank Vending Midland League and then achieving promotion to the North West Counties Football League in 1999. Further success took the club to the Northern Premier Division 1 in 2006 and then Division 1 South for a season, until the Bullets were forcibly relegated due to FA ground grading requirements.

The last five seasons have all involved relegation dogfights, with the 2011/12 season preceded by a catastrophic fire at the ground which meant that the club were forced to play all games away until November. This season has started in similar vein - 5 points from 16 games, bottom of the table and a change of manager. This in stark contrast to cup form - back to back victories in the FA Cup for the first time ever, and through to the FA Vase 3rd Round after beating, in a replay, AFC Mansfield, and their magnificently named Romanian manager Rudy Funk, to face AFC Wulfrunians next weekend.

After last week's trip to see the Bullets play the Red Rebels of Abbey Hey was aborted because of waterlogging, the imaginatively nicknamed 'Blues' of Winsford United are in town. Perhaps using 'Sal Terrae' (Salt of the Earth) which is emblazoned on the club badge might be a more exciting alternative ?

The club was founded in 1883 as Over Wanderers and played in the Welsh Combination Football League before changing its name and moving to their current ground, then called the Bean Latham Playing Field, a few years later. After excessive spending the club folded. It was reformed just before the outbreak of World War 1, and regrouped after peace had broken out under a committee led by Mr RG Barton. The Blues became a founder member of the Cheshire League and the stadium, by now called the Great Western Playing Field (and incorporating a greyhound track), was renamed the Barton Stadium in the chairman's honour.

Membership of the Cheshire League was unbroken until it and other regional leagues merged into the North West Counties Football League in 1982. A move up to the Northern Premier League in 1987 and promotion to the Premier in 1992, finishing runners up in 1992/3, was as good as it got; subsequently three relegations in four seasons saw Winsford playing North West Counties Division Two football in 2003, although the club were promoted back to Division One in 2007.

After a wholly necessary detour to give a certain 15 year old, still slightly shell shocked at having to work on his birthday, his presents, it's out into Storm Desmond and wild winds, flapping tarpaulin and naked trees. Fortunately only a two junction hop on the M6 as the car is buffeted by the strong winds - a danger ignored by the motorway signs which prefer to scream 'No HGV Fuel'. The exceedingly good PIES graffiti remains, however.

Assaulted by falling branches in Arclid, it's then follow the signs for Cliff's Quality Turkeys and Mowerland. Past the derelict 'The Salamanca' pub and into the outskirts of Alsager, where Wood Park Stadium is well hidden in a housing estate - a narrow unlit ginnel between two houses in the midst of a courtyard aka Woodland Court.

Through the turnstile, and down a steep staircase past toilets that have seen better days, the changing rooms and clubhouse. The pitch nestles below and appears to have formed part of the adjacent field at one point - there is even an open gate behind one goal, and potential free admission, leading onto parkland.

On the near side are two covered stands, one with three rows comprising a variety of different seating designs, the other incorporating some terracing. Behind the goal is the open gate and a condemned floodlight, which had to be put down. On the far side is a small covered area, inhabited initially by one spectator - this represents the ideal spot to watch the game whilst being in the teeth of the gale. Behind the other goal is a tea bar and medical room.

Winsford, unsurprisingly enough, are in two tone dark blue with minuscule shirt numbers, whilst the Bullets are in black and white stripes as the game begins. It's a first half that owes less to craft and guile, and more to graft and bile - and benevolent refereeing !

The Bullets have a chance in the first minute but the Blues take an early lead. Portly winger Scott Taylor has already seen one cross cum shot blown onto the post, but in the next move he beats his man far too easily and rifles home into the top of the net at the keeper's near post.

There is a lull in proceedings as the referee retrieves then hands back a bobble hat, blown off a spectator's head onto the pitch. Said spectator stuffs the offending article in his pocket and sheepishly walks round to the opposite side of the pitch......out of the wind !!

Just before the half hour Winsford's pacy left winger, Danny Hudson, who has been the subject of several robust challenges, fires a twenty yarder into the top corner to double the lead. Within two minutes this becomes 3-0 as Ryan Mellor is played through from half way, outpaces his marker and slots under the keeper. The Bullets are handed a lifeline five minutes later; a totally unnecessary tackle in the box leads to a penalty, and Jonathan Jones fires home.

Five minutes after the restart there's a sense of deja vu: another needless United foul in the box and another penalty. Unbearable tension leads to one (female) home supporter leaving the stand and hiding behind it - unable to watch as Jones converts again.

The Bullets are firing now, piling on the pressure but let down by scattergun shooting, a wayward final ball and some debatable offside decisions - the assistant referee is told 'Liner, have a word with yourself' and 'Book yourself in - 50% off this week at Specsavers' !

Despite all guns blazing from the Bullets, a rattled United side hang on. But it's still a surprise when Hudson, given the ball on the half way line, waltzes past four defenders and beats the keeper for 4-2. His hat trick goal is disallowed for offside shortly after.

A wonder point blank save from Blues' keeper, Dale Latham, proves crucial as in injury time Bullets' midfielder Josh Crofts pulls the trigger from 25 yards for an absolute screamer......leaving the Bullets gunned down 4-3 at the death. :)

A Little Bit of Daniels' Magic, Not A Lot, As Valiant Knight Denies The Gladiators !

And so to the Derbyshire Dales, and the Autoworld Arena on Causeway Lane, the home of the Gladiators of midtable Matlock Town. The visitors are the Daniels of Stamford AFC, currently sitting next to bottom, and after their first nine league games produced an astonishing 60 goals, with a new manager in charge.

The home side was formed in 1878 as Matlock, and competed in the Central Alliance and then the Midland Counties League. After being four time champions in the 1960s, the Gladiators moved into a different arena, the Northern Premier League in 1969.

In 1975 the club won the FA Trophy beating Scarborough 4-0 at Wembley with all three Fenoughty brothers, Tom, Mick and Nick, scoring. 1978 saw the side win the NPL Cup, and this allowed them to play in the Anglo-Italian Cup in 1978/9 against Chieti, Pisa, Juniorcasale and Cremonese.

After relegation to the First Division in 1996, the club were promoted back to the Premier Division in 2003/4, and have remained there at the third tier of non-league ever since.

Stamford AFC are nicknamed The Daniels after Daniel Lambert, reputedly the fattest man in English history then (but not in these morbidly obese times !), who died in Stamford and is buried in St Martins' churchyard, close to the old ground.

The club was established in 1896 and played for one season in the East Midlands League. Then after several years without league football they joined the Northamptonshire League in 1909, and were champions in 1912. They left the (now) United Counties League in 1939 after being plagued by financial troubles, but rejoined in 1946 and after playing in the Central Alliance and the Midland League, went back to the UCL for the final time in 1972.

The Daniels were champions five times in seven seasons, and reached the FA Vase final three times winning it in 1980 by beating Guisborough 2-0. In 1998 after consecutive championships, one in their centenary year, the club was promoted to the Midland (later renamed Eastern) Division of the Southern League. Promotion to the Premier followed in 2004, and then after two yo-yo years, the club was moved to the Premier Division of the Northern Premier League, and went down after one season to Division One South.

In August 2012 the Daniels became the first club in the world to wear the Twitter handle and display a QR code on the back of their playing shirts. Promotion to the Premier was achieved via the play offs, and in their second season back Stamford went top after winning their first five games.

The club moved from their old home at Hanson's Field to the brand new Zeeco Stadium in December 2014 and became embroiled in a relegation dogfight. On the final day of last season the Daniels were 2-0 down at the Zeeco to fellow relegation strugglers Witton Albion. Cue a tremendous fightback, late goal, a 3-2 win, survival and Witton through the trapdoor. It remains their only home league win at the new stadium to date.....

And so through the footballers' playground of Hale Barns, past the crystal Methodist's Co-op pyramid in Stockport and there's no gridlock in the (Hazel) Grove - a first time for everything ! Past Lyme Park, and then skirting Chapel-en-le-Frith, the Capital of the Peak, brings us to the hairpin bend at the Wanted Inn at Sparrowpit.

Through Peak Forest and then a turn to Ashford in the Water, avoiding Tideswell, the Cathedral of the Peak. On into the sprawling town of Bakewell, and its Tarts, and then past the Grouse & Claret at Rowsley and into Darley Dale, with its Carriage Museum.

First stop is the tourist trap of Matlock Bath, with its illuminations on the River Derwent and fireworks later ! Awesome views from the Heights of Abraham - and don't forget the Lead Mining Museum.....

Then a backtrack to the spa and market town of Matlock and park up by the railway station - sadly no Peak Rail services today due to problems with the steam locomotive :( Then lunch and a pint of Woodforde's Tap & Go in the packed Crown, where the horse drawn fire engine was based many years ago.

The town is compact and vibrant, watched over by Riber Castle, perched on the peak above. The football ground is in the town centre across from Hall Leys Park, with its sunken gardens, skate park and boating lake. Next to the ground is Matlock Ford dealership and on the approach Maazi restaurant, with an incongruous yellow tuk-tuk on its portico......

And so up Causeway Lane and in through the turnstile, with every spectator greeted by 'And how are you today ?' 'Not three bad'. The far end is fenced off, with the cricket club and pitch behind and Riber Castle in the distance. The near side supports the Cyril Harrison Stand, showing its 95 years, three seated/ benched rows and partly taped off. The Town End has a small covered terraced area backing on to Matlock Ford, with tarmac standing below. However the ground has been transformed by the shiny new Twigg main Stand - alongside it is the Sports and Social Club, where an episode of Sky series Starlings was filmed (no I've never heard of it either !). There is also the Autoworld Lounge on one side and a refreshment bar and some benches on the other; behind the town rises layer by layer.

A rather frightening looking middle aged man with gelled dyed blue and yellow hair, which doesn't match his goatee, walks round the ground before the game starts. The Gladiators are in all blue and the Daniels in all red.

The weather matches the first half - five minutes of sunshine then drab with a swirling wind. A chance in the first minute for Matlock captain Danny Holland and no real threat from the Daniels, until Nabil Sharif pokes wide under pressure. A home claim for a penalty for hand ball, and rather aimless pinball football until the half hour.

Then three very presentable chances for the home side. Holland nods down a free kick to the unmarked Sam Smith who volleys horribly over, Holland is just thwarted by the Daniels' keeper Richard Knight and Micky Harcourt's cross cum shot evades the onrushing forwards.

Within in a minute of the second half the Gladiators' Harry Coates hits the frame of bar and post from a corner but the home side are struggling to create chances, looking lopsided and lacking invention. Shortly after, the Daniels lead - a corner produces a tremendous save from home custodian George Willis, but Tom McGowan thrashes home the rebound. Two minutes later Smith is cut down in the area: Holland takes the penalty but Knight saves low to his left.

Knight produces further great saves to deny Ben Elgar and Joel Purkiss but leaves the best till last - a superb tip away from Adam Yates' header. By the end the Gladiators have run out of ideas, with Daniels' Daniel Clements nearly adding a second, Willis saving well. Injury time is brief - only one double substitution from the home side and no injuries - as the veil is drawn on an unlikely away win.

All Hail Windmill Army Reigning In The Sun - Nor Lye Strike Gold...

And so to Eynsham Hall Park Sports Ground, and a bonus overnighter (thanks Mark !) to see the Evostik South Division Division 1 South & West curtain raiser between North Leigh and Tiverton Town.

North Leigh is a small village of less than 2,000 inhabitants in West Oxfordshire just outside Witney. The football club was established in 1908 and boasts three nicknames - The Windmill Army, Yellows and Nor Lye. Initially competing in the Witney & District League, they progressed up to the Oxfordshire Senior League and then the Hellenic League. Fittingly this was won in their centenary year in 2008, taking them to their current, highest level of Step 4.

Tiverton Town also boast three nicknames - Tivvy, Yellows and The Gold Army. The visitors from Ladysmead were founded in 1913 as Tiverton Athletic, and merged with Uffculme St Peters in 1921 to form Tiverton AFC. Their first games were played at the Athletic Ground (now Amory Park) in the East Devon League, moving in to the North Devon League and then the Exeter & District League. The club were evicted in 1921 and moved to the rugby pitch at Elm Park, The Elms, in a rather one sided ground swap with the rugby club. A war battered Elms was virtually destroyed in World War 2 so the club was renamed Tiverton Town and moved to Ladysmead, although they had to use a pub ten minutes walk away for changing purposes.
 
The club gradually climbed the leagues, joining the Western League in 1973. The appointment of Martyn Rogers as manager in 1991 saw the club's halcyon days with the league won in 1994, 1995, 1997 and 1998. Having been runners up in the FA Vase in 1993, losing to Bridlington, they triumphed at Wembley against Tow Law Town 1-0 in 1998 and retained the Vase beating Bedlington Terriers by the same score the following year.
 
The club was promoted to the Southern League Division 1 West in 1999, and then the Premier in 2001. 2007 saw the Southern League Cup captured, but the club started to struggle to maintain its air of invincibility. Tivvy finished in the relegation zone at the end of 2009/10 but despite a reprieve, Rogers stepped aside after 19 seasons in charge. It was only a stay of execution as relegation followed the following season and, despite a brief flirtation with an internet entrepreneur, they have remained at the lower level. Club legend Rogers was reappointed manager in May 2014.

 

So Friday evening and on to the patchwork M6, and a welcome return of the PIES graffiti - 'PIES - THIS IS YOUR TIME' and 'VOTE PIES'. With long delays forecast ahead, a detour first into a godforsaken council estate in Stafford (the culprit - you know who you are !!), and then past the roundabout art in Cannock and bizarre architecture in Bridgtown.
 
The Black Country greets us with 'No car cruising - by high court injunction', and we skirt Walsall cruising past Rostance Edwards FC, an accountancy firm playing at Step 8, before rejoining the M6. Further smart (?) motorway delays, with closed lanes displaying 50 mph limits, and an accident then phantom lane closures on the M40 provide more hold ups before we eventually arrive at the new housing estate in Botley - pitch black with no street lighting and with monstrous kerbs. The navigator (you know who he is !) pronounces 'I'm lost, I'm lost' - never a truer word spoken.......
 
Saturday brings glorious sunshine and a walk into the dreaming spires of Oxford. Breakfast is at The Four Candles, and yes it is named after that iconic Two Ronnies sketch. On the wall are two fork handles and four candles.... Avoiding the cyclists, it's a trip to the Ashmolean Museum, then taking in the Sheldonian Theatre, Bodleian Library, Bridge of Sighs, Radcliffe Camera and finishing atop the Castle Mound at Oxford Castle, all the while marvelling at the historical attractions.
 
A gentle meander through countryside, stopping only to pay the Swinford Bridge toll - all of 5p - brings us to Eynsham Park. The ground is set in the picturesque surroundings of the Eynsham Hall estate, with the landowner charging the club a peppercorn rent.
 
Ample parking and a stroll past a faded clubhouse brings us to the ground. The near end supports a shallow covered terrace behind the North End goal which joins on to a welcoming clubhouse, Shep's Lounge Bar, and snack bar. Down the touchline is a pathway for standing with grassed areas overhung by leafy trees. Opposite the dugouts is the main stand named after George Hazell, the benefactor who bequeathed the club its floodlights. The stand highlights the prodigious slope on the pitch - one half having four seated rows above pitch level, the other only two.
 
The far end is open, backed by hedging, with two gates leading to a field occupied by oblivious sheep resting in the shade. In the distance, and just visible despite being framed by more trees, stands the majestic Eynsham Hall.

The Windmill Army are in traditional yellow and black, but can name only three substitutes. The third substitute is wearing a surgical boot and pink vest; needless to say he does not feature in the game. Tivvy are in change all white, and have only four substitutes, with no sub keeper.
 
The game gets off to a lively start with home keeper James Foster making a splendid fingertip save from Tivvy centre forward, Owen Howe. At the other end, Morgan Williams finishes horribly from a two on one and only a slight deflection, diverting the ball closer to the goal rather than corner flag, spares his blushes. From the resultant corner to the far post, right back Miles Welch-Hayes heads the ball firmly down. It hits the ground, loops over Tivvy's keeper and a covering defender attempts to punch the ball over the bar - his forearm smash only succeeding in pushing the ball into the net for the home side to lead.
 
Plenty of banter from the linesman too - during an enforced injury and drinks break, and with Tivvy manager Rogers encroaching on to the pitch, he asks the 60 year old if he wants to bring himself on....... The reply is absolutely unprintable !!
 
Just after the half hour, the Millers' Callum McNish is brought down for a contentious penalty. Cue apoplexy on the Tivvy bench and then relief as keeper Rhys Lovett saves Jamie Cook's spot kick. Foster makes another terrific save from Tivvy's Dan Smith to preserve the half time lead.
 
The second half begins in similar fashion and six minutes in, Williams motors down the left flank and sends over a pinpoint cross to McNish. The forward cushions the ball, swivels to beat his man and crashes the ball into the top right hand corner for a goal of real quality.
 
Tivvy must know it's not to be their day when Howe's firm header from a right wing cross thuds against the inside of the post. Foster remains relatively untroubled as the away side struggle to break down a resolute Windmill Army defence, and it finishes 2-0.
 
Just time for a quick visit to Witney and, opposite the butter cross in the market square, a pint of Hook Norton's Summertime in The Company of Weavers, a nod to the town's traditional industry of blanket making. Then, thankfully, a less eventful journey home !
  

Yeltz in Setback as Dabbers Take Max Advantage !

And so to Kingsley Fields and the Weaver Stadium, and two Evostik Northern Premier teams with obscure nicknames of unknown derivation - The Dabbers of Nantwich Town, and The Yeltz of Halesowen Town.

The Dabbers started life back in 1884 as Nantwich FC, playing in the Shropshire, North Staffordshire, Crewe, Manchester and Lancashire leagues before finally moving to the Cheshire League. This led to them becoming founder members of the North West Counties League in 1982, with promotion to the Northern Premier League Division 1 South 25 years later.

That promotion was on the back of winning the FA Vase in 2006, and ahead of a move from their old Jackson Avenue headquarters to the new purpose built Weaver Stadium for the 2007/08 season. A highly successful first campaign at the new ground saw the Dabbers elevated to the Northern Premier League Premier Division, where they still ply their trade.

The Dabbers can also lay claim to the fastest ever FA Cup hat trick - 2 minutes and 20 seconds. And that nickname ? The best guess is it relates to the wattle and daub buildings in Nantwich, with daubers being corrupted to dabbers.

Halesowen Town have played at their Grove ground ever since their formation in 1873. After playing in the Birmingham Combination and Birmingham & District League, there came an FA Vase final defeat in 1983 and then they twice won the trophy in 1985 and 1986. Promotion to the Southern League followed their successful retention of the Vase, before being moved to the Northern Premier League South in 2012 - a league they won last season.

And the Yeltz ? Rumour has it that the nickname could have come from local button maker James Grove and their Yelts Brand. More romantically, Halesowen were pioneers of their time with Hungarian centre forward and international Pungus Catfich playing for the club after the end of the Second World War. His oft heard plaintive cry on the field of 'Yeltz, Albert, Yeltz' roughly translates from the Magyar to 'Over here, son, on my head'..........

The morning snow has given way to sunshine interspersed with hail and a bitterly cold wind. Another fun journey ensues with road surfacing on Chester Road and shambolic traffic signals which ensure only traffic leaving Altrincham actually moves - gridlock in the opposite direction.

Then the M6; only one junction but time enough for a MegaBus to take a mega long time to overtake, thereby clogging up two lanes. Signs warning that the M6 is closed between Junctions 13 and 12 start to appear - (un)happy days ! It's off at Junction 18 and past the impressive Wimboldsley Hall, Old Hough Coarse Fishery and into the village of Walley's Green before entering the pretty floral market town of Nantwich.

The town is a wonderful mix of black and white Elizabethan mansion houses and listed buildings, supporting local artisan companies and brand names. There's also the Jubilee Almshouses and their camel windvane, and then it's over the Sir Thomas Fairfax Bridge to the Weaver.

The Weaver Stadium now forms part of a burgeoning Kingsley Village with housing estates springing up on the opposite side of the road. The stadium itself is still surrounded by hedging, fields, sports pitches and the River Weaver.
Ten pounds to get in seems a little steep for this level of football, but inside the stadium remains in pristine condition despite 7 years' use, and the pitch is in tip top nick. The two ends are flat and undeveloped, whilst the main entrance houses the Baker Wynne & Wilson Stand. This is the main seated stand to the south of the pitch, and also includes a bar and snack bar - Dabbers' Diner. On the far side is the Whitby Morrison Ice Cream Vans Stand (I kid you not !!) - a low terrace to the north of the pitch. Yeltz fans take one end, the Dabbers' faithful, including little drummer boy, the other. Curiously the dug out area is sponsored by Piste Wine Bar (of Tarporley).....

Nantwich, having flirted for most of the season with the relegation zone, are in green and white for new manager Phil Parkinson's first home game. Halesowen, surprise play off contenders, are in all blue.

Yeltz start the stronger with veteran forward Iyseden Christie pulling the strings, and Jake Jones' cross catches on the wind and strikes the top of the bar. Thereafter, though, it's all Dabbers - Max Harrop's rasping left foot drive on 13 minutes opens the scoring, although it rather went through Yeltz keeper Sargeant.

Wonderful slick one touch football from the Dabbers for the rest of the half, albeit it has to be said they are given the time and the space to play. Harrop is brought down when through on goal for a certain red card offence, but the ball breaks to Dabbers' centre forward Harry Clayton whose shot is saved. Several chances are spurned, and it's just that final ball that prevents Nantwich from opening a greater half time lead. Nonetheless 'Best half I've seen in a season and a half' is the general opinion.

Half time sees a double substitution for the Yeltz, and it almost pays immediate dividends with Christie playing in sub Ben Haseley but Dabbers' keeper Terry Smith saves with his legs. Halesowen are noticeably quicker to the ball, pressing and trying to prevent Nantwich playing their free flowing football, but it doesn't stop the home side from creating further chances.

Sargeant makes an absolute mess of an up and under, eventually kneeing the ball up into the air; Harrop's deft lob falls inches wide. The keeper then seeks to blame the sun for his error, and borrows a cap from a home supporter for the rest of the match !! Dabbers' right winger, Matty Kosylo, comes more and more into the game and, after one sumptuous back heel and drag back, has his venomous strike well parried.

Nantwich are content to have what they hold, and carve out opportunities on the counter attack but there's still time for a frantic finale. Terry Smith makes two fine saves in injury time and a goalmouth melee comes to nought, as Dabbers hang on for a richly deserved and entertaining 1-0 win.

Warrington Not Taken To The Wire By Off Song Linnets !

And so to Victoria Park in Burscough for an early kick off, 1.30pm, due to 'ongoing floodlight issues'. Burscough, 'The Linnets', take on FA Cup giantkillers Warrington Town, appropriately enough on 3rd Round day.

The first Burscough AFC was formed in 1880 but folded in 1900. It was re-established as Burscough Rangers in 1905 and moved to Mart Lane in 1908, before also folding in 1935. The present Burscough club was founded in 1946 and worked its way up the Liverpool Leagues, Lancashire Combination and Cheshire County League before becoming founder members and first champions of the North West Counties Football League in 1982.

In 1998 they were promoted to the Northern Premier League, and in 2003 became the smallest ever club to win the FA Trophy under the management of Sean Teale - his reward was to be sacked 6 weeks later......

In 2007 the Linnets won the Northern Premier and spent two seasons in the Conference North, their highest ever position. Thereafter two relegations and an abortive half season ground share with Skelmersdale United brought them both home and to their current status, Evo Stik Northern Premier Division 1 North.

Their visitors from Cantilever Park, Warrington Town, began life in 1949 as Stockton Heath Albion and were also founder members of the North West Counties in 1982. 'The Wire' or 'The Yellows' started in Division 3 and reached the NWC Premier Division before being promoted to the Northern Premier League Division 1 in 2004 - spending one season in the Southern section, and the rest in the Northern.

However their biggest claim to fame was reaching the FA Cup First Round proper this season for the first time ever - and then beating Exeter City 1-0 in front of the BBC cameras. The Second Round saw a 2-0 defeat at Gateshead and league form has been patchy ever since, as The Wire seek to emulate last season's play off position.

It's a cold, wet, murky morning as I set out past The Barmy Sarnie and into filthy driving conditions on the M6 across Thelwall Viaduct - teeming rain, spray and mist and, yes, imbeciles with no lights on.....

Ignoring the attractions of Haydock Park and Wigan Pier, I exit at Junction 27 and a sign 'We've Got It All In West Lancashire' - well definitely pouring rain and surface water !! Taking in the striking Christ Church in Parbold, and the villages of Newburgh (twinned with Newburgh, Indiana !) and historic Lathom brings me to the outskirts of Burscough. There's The Blue Mallard at Burscough Wharf then The Hop Vine in the town centre, before turning into Tesco for free unlimited parking - there is no parking at the ground.

Victoria Park is flanked by housing on two sides, open ground on another and Tesco and the Fitness and Racquets Centre on the final one, up Bobby Langton Way with the Mart Lane entrance housing the main turnstile. Inside there's a club shop, canteen/ snack bar and a solitary toilet...that doesn't lock...

On this side is the grandstand, whilst the Crabtree Lane end has a shelter and opposite is a covered terrace. In the corner is a privately owned clubhouse, 'The Barons' and a dismantled floodlight - is this the 'ongoing issue' ? Around the pitch are hoardings advertising companies offering tractors, sheds, forklifts and....exotic mushrooms ! There's also a Victoria Park 100 Years of Football 1908-2008 sign, but disappointingly the 'Burscough FC We Are L40' banner is absent.

The Linnets are in all green, whilst their keeper is in all yellow, forcing the Wire to change to all blue. Warrington are encouraged by a vociferous away support, including a drummer, and treat us to the delights of 'You're just a bus stop in Ormskirk' and 'Jesus is a Wire' - and yes full back Lewis Field does bear a resemblance !! For the large part this is the only noise inside the stadium as the tannoy also has 'ongoing issues'....

The rain has stopped and bright winter sunshine and blue skies grace the first half. Wire winger Chris Gahgan hits the bar within 2 minutes from a cross cum shot, and then Burscough's keeper's hurried clearance hits his own man and rolls agonisingly wide.

For a while it's all Warrington but just as the Linnets appear to have weathered the storm, a short free kick and cut back sees the ball roll under a defender's foot on the uneven surface, and FA Cup match winner Craig Robinson taps in to put the Wire one up at half time.

Within a minute of the second half starting centre forward Ben Wharton turns his marker rather too easily and shoots low into the corner to double the lead. The game turns feisty with eight yellow cards shown and cries from the crowd of 'Are you practicing, ref?' and 'Have you done this before?'

Thankfully matters calm down and on 67 minutes another Wire free kick, another horrible Linnets miscue and fellow striker Ashley Ruane half volleys the third into the exact same spot. Warrington are only denied a fourth, three minutes later, by an offside flag after hitting the post with the rebound headed home.

In the last ten minutes, with the game won Warrington ease down, and the Linnets, who have been underwhelming to say the least, come into the game. Jordan Williams' barnstorming run and shot is rewarded with a goal - a consolation that the Wire keeper should have saved. Too little too late though as it finishes 3-1 to the Wire. ☺

Zebras Earn Then Lose Their Stripes...

And so to the Autonet Community Stadium at Norton Cricket Club & Miners Welfare Institute in Smallthorne, a working class district just outside Stoke. Today's game features Norton United and Brigg Town in Evostik Division 1 South.

Norton are a comparatively new club, set up in 1989 and promoted through the Staffordshire, Midland and North West Counties Leagues. 2014 saw them win the latter, and meeting ground criteria, move up to Step 4 of Non-League. It has also seen them reach the first round of the FA Cup for the first time, with a home tie against Gateshead next weekend.

Brigg are based in Glanford Brigg, to give it the full title, in North Lincolnshire. Established in 1864, they are celebrating 150 years of football - only 4 clubs are older, Sheffield, Harefield United, Hallam and Cray Wanderers. The Zebras' (due to their black and white striped shirts) history reveals two FA Vase wins, in 1996 and 2003, and promotion to their current level in 2004.

Past a rather bewildered looking youth sporting a ginger Mohawk outside the revamped Orange Tree, and then beyond the vintage Belle Vue bus in Bowdon, it's a return to the Potteries. So yes, more M6 patchwork tarmac and imbecile drivers, before turning off through Middleport, Longport and Burslem, with Price's National Teapots and the defunct Ceramica museum en route.

Then it's into Smallthorne, avoiding Jupiter and Saturn Streets, with the football club on Community Drive, tucked in amongst the maisonettes. The Institute, a far more imposing building and with the longer history, is on the right and the football club, with its solitary turnstile, on the left.

The admission sign says £5, but on proffering the correct change, I'm met with a bemused 'What's that for then?' The gateman is thoroughly confused, and we eventually establish that £5 is actually £7, and no I'm not an OAP......

A narrow alley, next to an artificial pitch, leads down to a raised walkway beneath which is the covered seated area. Two sides of the ground are bounded by trees and those maisonettes, and one end is open, looking out onto distant densely packed housing in one direction, hills in the other. The popular side holds the clubhouse, balcony and changing rooms, reached by steps up the grassy bank. There's also a small covered area next to the dugouts on the far side, and a walkway round the pitch.

Norton are in their red and black stripes, with Brigg in change pink with black flashings, rendering their shirt sponsor illegible. Norton are mid-table, but the Zebras are not enjoying their 150th anniversary - next to bottom, 9 players out injured, only 2 subs, and defeated 7-2 by the only club below them, Kidsgrove.

In a cold, blustery wind, Norton start energetically, attacking with pace. The Zebras' goal leads a charmed life with keeper Robert Zand making two good saves and Norton hitting the bar. Shortly after Brigg's rather portly central midfielder leaves the fray with a broken cheekbone, a free kick falls to Norton's Paul Taylor who confidently strokes home.

Brigg have been poor but are galvanised, hitting the bar twice and then the post within a minute. From the ensuing corner, Timothy Taylor is tripped (no ale involved !!) and captain Anthony Bowsley scores from the penalty spot to equalise on the half hour. Soon after, on the counter attack, Tim Taylor hits an arrowing strike into the roof of the net. 'Zee-bras' is the cry from the travelling faithful, and Brigg comfortably maintain their lead till half time.

Within minutes of the start of the second half, there's a second penalty as Norton's keeper takes out the onrushing forward - Bowsley scores again for 3-1. Elliott Broughton then scores on the hour with a composed finish after truly horrible defending to make it 4-1. More 'Zee-bras' and disbelief at what looked a home banker, especially after the game's first quarter.

Norton have been aimless for the second and third quarters of the match, coughing up possession far too easily and guilty of overplaying and kamikaze defending. Manager Scott Dundas has seen enough and makes a triple substitution.

Within moments we have the game's third penalty, this time for the home side. The linesman deems it a fair tackle but the referee overrules him; Thomas Winkle scores and Norton believe...... Five minutes later Paul Taylor gets his second, heading a long throw into the top corner as Brigg start to cave in. Unsurprisingly an equaliser arrives after Lee Cropper volleys in a left wing cross. Fireworks light up the sky and the heavily tattooed home supporter next to me, looking like death warmed up, celebrates by opening another can of Special Brew.....

The agony goes on for the Zebras, as an unsighted Zand fumbles a shot from the edge of the box, and Michael Lennon taps home. Then the best goal of the match - all one touch pass and move, the ball then played into space behind the centre back and Lennon sidesteps the keeper and tucks home.

Four minutes from time Jon Beaumont heads home a corner, the assistant flagging that the ball crossed the line. Six goals in 21 crazy minutes to leave the crowd stunned as Norton win 7-4 in truly a game of four distinct quarters. The talking point - whether the Gateshead scout left after 65 minutes..... ?

Quite, quite extraordinary ☺

Ammies Deadly Duo Prove Dab Hands...

And so to Moor Lane, and some more of that FA Cup magic. Today, Salford City - who progress with a thrilling 6-4 extra time replay win over the Bears of Congleton Town - against Nantwich Town.

NantwichTown was formed in 1884 and became a founder member of the North West Counties Football League in 1982. Having won the FA Vase in 2006, the following season brought promotion and a move to their new Weaver Stadium at Kingsley Fields in the town. Their inaugural season there brought another promotion to the current level, Evostik Premier, one step above Salford. Nicknamed 'The Dabbers' but no one is too sure why - the best guess being after the wattle and daub buildings in Nantwich, with daubers being corrupted to dabbers.

Past the AJ Bell, indoor skydiving (and how does that work, exactly?) and invisible workmen on the Smart Motorway it's an exit at Prestwich. Onto the A56, passing the renowned Railway and Naturalist pub and then St Marys Flower Park before reaching Kersal and Moor Lane.

Inside the ground it's a steep descent down the stairs to the pitch - indeed a cluster of people choose to spectate from the high vantage point by the turnstiles. Philip, Gary and Neville Neville are in attendance today, which explains the 3 TV gantries around the ground as filming of the Class of 92 takeover of the Ammies continues.

The ground is set in a residential estate but heavily screened by trees. Behind the near goal is a large grassed area, with several young children playing football and others bouncing on the giant inflatable giraffe - oh the magic of the cup !!
Next to a burger van, the main concrete stand is sat well back from the pitch; there is a small area of seats in one corner, but the rest is red and white concrete tiers - reminiscent of lower league European teams, but with a roof ! By the corner is a bar, refreshment area, shop and changing rooms - we are warned that since it is the cup, alcohol can only be drunk in the bar (definitely not magic !). The other entrance, appropriately on Nevile Road, is tucked in too.

At the top end is car parking including a cherry picker, behind which is a school, but the view is dominated by the church rising magnificently above the treetops. There's a wry smile or two at the BMW that has sunk into the turf..... Opposite the main stand is a small covered terrace displaying SCFC 1940 2014, steep grass banking and discarded advertising hoardings. The terrace is quickly monopolised by 20 or so singing Dabbers fans and their drummer, with SCFC covered by a 'Where there's Frank there's hope' flag....

Nantwich are in green shirts, proudly displaying 130 years of football, black shorts and red and black hooped socks. Salford in red and white start hesitantly, almost nervously, whilst the Dabbers display more confidence, but there are too many misplaced passes.

A ball breaks loose and Salford's Nicky Platt (no longer in Coronation Street !) has the first real chance but it hits the legs of Nantwich keeper, Aaron Ashley. For the Dabbers, Aaron Burns' header is tipped away by Jay Lynch and then Max Harrop hits the crossbar with a free kick. Ammies' Sam Madeley's powderpuff shot, when played in by Gareth Seddon, trickles through to the keeper.

At half time the Nantwich choir belt out 'Shoes off if you're wunderbar', with their trainers duly removed, and then both sides are kept waiting for a good few minutes before the officials arrive for the second half - prompting a rendition of 'It's nice to know you're here' from the Salford faithful.....

The second period is nip and tuck, with Nantwich just shading it, before the match changes in the final quarter. Salford take the game by the scruff of the neck, Seddon is denied twice and Danny Webber refused a clear penalty. Then with a quarter of an hour to go, Seddon gets free at a corner and nods home unchallenged.

The Dabbers, who have lost their shape, rally but their best effort, sub Vinny Mukendi's shot is straight down Lynch's throat. In injury time Salford break and Webber, instead of squaring, toys with the Nantwich defence before slamming in an unstoppable shot - pure class !

2-0 at the end and, on paper, a shock - but probably not too much of a surprise ☺