And so to Ditton, on the outskirts of Widnes, and St Michaels Catholic Primary School, for a Cheshire League Division One clash between St Michaels DH FC and FC St Helens Reserves.
The Mikes, motto 'Fortis et Vici' (strong and I conquered), were established in 1966 - the DH is an abbreviated version of Ditton Hall, where a banished Jesuit community from Germany settled. Playing local league football, the Saints were Warrington and District Premier League champions in 2021/22.
Stepping up to the Cheshire League Division Two St Michaels finished runners up in their inaugural season and were promoted to Division One.
This season they have started with three victories, away at Vulcan (2-1) and at home to the not so mighty Atoms of Daten (4-0) and Bollington (3-0), a disappointing 3-3 home draw to Sandbach Reserves, having been three up at the break, and a right thumping at Golborne Sports (1-6), followed by last weekend's 3-1 reverse at Styal.
The Saints currently sit 11th of 16, but with games in hand.
FC St Helens, 'The Stripes', was established in 2014 in the heart of the town, originally as St Helens Town's reserve side. Their motto is 'Simul Nos Firmiories' - Together We Are Strong...
The club started in the West Cheshire League, before moving to the Cheshire League Division Two in 2015 and achieving promotions to Division One in 2016 and the Premier in 2018.
As champions in 2021/22 The Stripes were promoted to the NWCFL Division One North, replacing, ironically, former FA Vase winners St Helens Town, who finished bottom and were relegated. They finished third in their first NWCFL season.
The Reserves side joined the Cheshire League Reserve 2 Division and achieved promotion to Reserve League 1 in 2016/17.
As runners up in 2022 the Stripes' Reserves were elevated to Division Two and a 4th place finish last time out was sufficient to see a further move up the league to Division One - four wins, a draw and two defeats, and an abandonment (due to alleged racial abuse) thus far this season leaves them fifth - but having played more games than their rivals.
But not to St Michaels Primary School - the pitch 'touch and go' after the incessant rain - and a late switch of grounds to Windleshaw Sports Club in St Helens. A strange journey featuring a horse drawn hearse, with plenty of 'manure' on the road afterwards, and a lime green tuk tuk parked across a driveway in Altrincham.
Numberplates LM04 YUE, a limousine, LU51LLE and PU11EYY feature today, as do roadworks on Dunham Road and dreadful driving - exiting the retail park apparently enables you to use both forward lanes, and a roadhog trying to overtake in single file traffic at a red light. Plus a van with trailer advertising Hot Products Cock Oil....
Into Warrington and out on the A57 , the Pink Eye building, Crosfields ARLFC, Snoutwood Trotters (!), then Trigger Pond, Christmas Tree Farm and Bargyloo Farm.
That brings me to Bold Heath, Thatto Heath, Clock Face - its rugby league side Clock Face Miners ☺ Then Sherdley Manor, the Dream sculpture up in the hills, Arthur Fleischmann's 'The Miner' at Cannington roundabout, and via The Glass Horse to central St Helens. To Denton's Green and Tennis Street leads to Windleshaw Sports Club. There is ample parking for a crowd of 21.
So not....
Windleshaw Sports Club ground is tree lined, a storage area next to the bar and outside seating and a very plush rest home adjacent with first floor balcony. At the top end is a playing field and a minuscule covered area, with a new 50 seat stand on the opposite side now operational.
So instead...
St Michaels are in change grey and black, sponsored by G Sinclair Electrical Services, and FC St Helens Reserves, sponsored by TD Construction Testing, are in red and white stripes. What follows in the autumnal sunshine is a very open and entertaining match.
After St Michaels have a goal ruled out on 7 minutes, they take the lead just before the quarter hour - a farcical own goal resulting from a back pass, a bobble on the penalty area mud bath and an air shot from the keeper. No matter as the Stripes equalise four minutes later from a defensive error with an almost apologetic scuffed finish that creeps inside the post - the same post they hit on 21 from a lob.
Thereafter a slight lull until injury time when St Helens have an effort palmed over and then the Mikes retake the lead, a deflected cross tucked away. St Michaels then spurn three glorious chances in the remainder of stoppage time, but still lead 2-1 at the interval.
The second period is breathless, with the action started 10 minutes in when the Stripes' keeper, who is not having the greatest of games, drops a straightforward cross, leading to a tap in. 70 seconds later it's 4-1 to the Mikes, a fine team move ending with the ball calmly slotted home.
But St Helens fight back and on 61 score from a cushioned header across the Mikes' custodian. However it's 5-2 to the away side three minutes on; a wonderful centre forward's goal, twisting and turning, beating three defenders before rolling the ball beyond the hapless netman.
There are no more goals, despite the home goalkeeper being substituted with 20 minutes to play - replaced between the sticks by the Stripes' captain. Mikes do hit the frame of the goal and so it finishes 5-2 to the visitors - their scorers Ryan Hunter with two, Ben Mahoney, Matt Williamson and that comedic own goal..... and St Michaels move up to fifth, overtaking FC St Helens Reserves on goal difference.
